Tag: blonde

When I post Pigeon Foo I actually have a tendency to get on my soap box and give you guys a lecture.  I am not really here to lecture you though (except take out the god damned trash, would it kill you?).  It’s just that I like her and I want you guys to be nice to her.  I don’t mean like her in the sense of what this blog is about, though, I mean, obviously she’s showing up here but I mean she’s pretty awesome.  Pretty and awesome.  Because Models are real people, too, with thoughts and feelings and ideas and like actual emotions and opinions.  That may startle the two of you who bother to read this but it is totally true.  But I am not going to lecture you today, I’m just going to remind you to be nice, dammit.  To everyone.  The internet gives you a nice big shield of anonymity and if you’re using that to beat up on people (and you’re still anonymous if I can see your screen name, we don’t really know you) you’re a coward.  I see too many anons telling people to kill themselves or they’re ugly.  If you have the urge to write this stop and think for a really long time about what it would feel like if someone told you that on the worst day of your life.  But enough, that’s not why she’s here.  She’s here because she’s my favorite model named after a bird.  Hand down I cannot think of a single Avian Named Model I like more.  And you should like her too because she is very pretty and she takes very cool pictures and she also has a pretty awesome tumblr.  So what I will say is if you like her too reblog this.  Not for me, though, nice for me, but because it gives models more exposure which can lead to more work.  If you reblog this you are actually helping her out in a small way (with the rule changes there isn’t another way for models to get themselves out there, their blogs aren’t searchable). And it feels good to help people.  And also she’s hot.  It feels good to have hot people on your blog.  It’s a win win is what I am saying.  I am also saying that today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

I always thought one day I would post a comic here but I didn’t know when it would ever happen.  Mainly because comics don’t tend to do photoshoots or red carpets or anything that generates a lot of pictures besides a lame headshot here or there where someone forced them to try and look zanny because the guy behind the camera thinks he’s funny and is telling professional funny people how to be funny.  Now, I like comedy a lot but I am not a comedy nerd on the level of the true fans out there on the internet, I have other passions that mean more to me.  But I do love stand up.  And I happen to really like Amy Schumer’s stand up.  I am just now catching up to her show because… I am a slow poke?  I can’t watch everything all at once?  I don’t know.  She is filthy and hilarious and if you don’t know her check her out.  I mean, if you follow this blog you should at least appreciate the edge her comedy has to it.  I also appreciate how she looks.  Looking for pictures I saw someone online declare her “Hot enough” which was probably a douchy insult but I am going to steal it because it works.  She’s pretty, pretty enough to be here but I really like people who are good at what they do.  Being good at your art?  That’s sexy as fuck.  Like I said, I like her comedy.  I like her.  So today I want to fuck Amy Schumer.

I think at our core a lot of humanity is just about wanting to be loved.  Or at least have someone care.  Care that we’re here, to make us feel like maybe we matter a little.  I know we spend a lot of time shouting into the darkness just to prove we exist, we want some validation for that.  All of us do sometimes.  It is why we start blogs, so we can put a piece of ourself out there and hope someone notices.  Look, I don’t even care about notes except that sometimes I do.  When a post gets no notes I don’t mind, when it gets a lot of notes I get excited though.  It is nice, it feels like you did something that mattered to someone.  I started this blog on a boring afternoon last spring because I was alone in my apartment with no plans and my main social outlet was stuck in Canada.  None of my friends were free and I was essentially house bound.  So I felt compelled to do this.  It became way more popular than I would have guessed because… well, it’s me discussing my libido.  Today is my 500th entry and I won’t lie and say it’s a coincidence Kristen Bell is here.  She’s here because I knew this date was coming and it is impossible to separate that in my head so by the time I hit the shower this morning she was on my mind because she just felt so right.  In 2004 I was in a brand new city and stuck in a shitty relationship.  Or maybe I was out of a shitty relationship.  It was one of those were we broke up and made up and were incredibly toxic to each other and it just makes everything miserable.  I found Veronica Mars at this point and it made me feel better for at least an hour at a time.  Good art does that, true beauty can help you overcome a lot and truly great art will change the way you see things.  It’s probably why I am celebrity obsessed because the artists are the ones who create the art and the ability to make magic in someone else’s life is amazing and amazingly attractive.  Kristen Bell is beautiful and she is also amazingly talented.  She is charming and witty and funny and just fantastic.  And she holds a special place in my heart because she was on my favorite show at a time I really needed a favorite show.  So it makes sense she’s here today because today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

So I have mentioned a few times lately that some people make me think of other people or something.  I guess this is a good time then to point out that I think this guy here who follows me might be Aly Michalka’s mom or something because he reblogs pictures of her like it’s his damn job.  Which is a big part of why she’s here, lots of new pictures of her this week and I guess you can say he’s kept me up to date.  She hasn’t appeared here in a long time, I am up and down on her I guess?  Like, there was a stretch where I really liked her but… she just has become increasingly obscure and so I don’t think of her.  These things happen.  I hope she’s doing well.  I know she has very dedicated fans.  Anyway, what I am saying is that today I want to fuck Aly Michalka.

Here is Jayne Mansfield who has actually appeared here once before.  I was actually thinking about Marilyn Monroe when I woke up and that somehow morphed into Jayne Mansfield.  I happen to like Jayne Mansfield more which in the modern world just makes me wrong.  Probably would have in the 50’s as well, Marilyn was always more popular and Jayne Mansfield is basically forgotten by most people.  Which is a shame because she was in a couple of very good movies and she was very hot.  Especially in the Girl Can’t Help It.  She was, at the time, most famous for her measurements which were a ridiculous 40-21-35.  Of course, she was also a genius level IQ which seems to have played a part in her rise to fame because she was pretty clever in getting attention and publicity.  Of course, like so many of the retrocrushes I have posted things didn’t end well for her.  I don’t just mean the car crash, there was also pills and booze and sex addiction.  It’s a pretty familiar tragic tale and I was talking to someone last night about how we’re all a little culpable in these things, our voracious appetite for schadenfreude can fuel these things.  I guess just let that temper this a little bit for you today.  What a bummer way to end.  Oh well, here comes the real end: today I want to fuck Jayne Mansfield.

Ok, so I have mentioned before (I think) that Amanda Seyfried doesn’t get posted as much as I feel is representative of my like for her.  I think this is because, in part, I start to think of some people as belonging to someone else.  Like… Oliva Wilde is clearly very pretty but I don’t feel a ton of passion for her and everyone knows Female Celebrity of the Day has dibs. One of my tumblr besties happens to have… if not dibs, first choice for Amanda Seyfried?   No, that’s wrong, that leads down some disturbing thought ways… just, she likes her a lot.  I feel like I probably liked her first but I can’t ignore the passion.  So like.. I almost feel like a poser.  Or… a follower because she just posted her yesterday.  And she pretty much reblogs pictures of her every day.  So… I think it subconsciously scares me off?  Or this is all bullshit and I am just having fun with links.  It’s a mystery I guess and a perplexing one because Amanda Seyfried is so gorgeous, I really should have her here more.  Well, today she is here.  Today I want to fuck Amanda Seyfried.

Every time I post Taylor Swift I feel like I should apologize.  Not because any of you mind that I post her but because I have gone on record so many times, here and in real life, that I don’t find Taylor Swift attractive and I don’t get the appeal.  I stand by this.  Most of the time.  I really mean it every time I say it.  Except… obviously I find her attractive, this is her 6th time showing up here, I know, I’ve checked.  Other than a handful of people in double digits it makes her one of my more frequent picks.  So I feel like I have to owe someone an apology?  Her maybe?  I can’t see that going well, I go and tell her that I’m sorry I always say she’s not attractive because some days I find myself really wanting to sleep with her.  I can’t help it, it’s just an urge.  Best case scenario I get a restraining order.  Worst case she buys a house next to me and starts planning our wedding (ok, cheap shot but I couldn’t resist).  Either way I am sure it would end in a scathing song about me at some point.  Like, it would be called Who I Want to Pity Today or something.  I don’t know but I’d look like an asshole!  So, what I am saying is I am sorry Taylor, please don’t write a song about me.  If you’re ok with not having a pre nup I would consider the marriage thing.  I can say though, all else aside in the right now I really mean it when I say today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

So if you don’t know, we form stronger memories around strong emotions.  It’s why we remember a great date, or the greatest night out we had with our friends, or the birth of our children, or the death of our loved ones.  If there is a strong emotion behind it there is a strong memory.  I know this because in school it was a way that they try to tell you to study.  It never made a lot of sense to me, like what are you supposed to do, kill your pet so you can pass Criminal Justice?  Sick bastards those professors.  But that is why Pixie Lott is here.  No, not because she killed my dog or anything.  I don’t have a dog.  And even if I did I don’t think she’s that type of person.  She is here because I have strong associations with her and people I care about.  It’s kind of a silly connection but it means that Pixie Lott pops into my mind because they do.  And it means i have very positive reactions to her despite the fact that I really shouldn’t care about a British pop star with no presence in my country whose music I don’t listen to.  I do care though because she makes me think of people I think are great.  Also, you know blonde.  British.  Those are big things for me.  And obviously this post should really just be something, something, legs, because I know you guys love her legs.  I don’t blame you, I like her legs.  She is leg porn.  I get it.  I like it.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

I have never posted Billie Piper before because she is one of those girls who sometimes I think looks amazing and sometimes holds no appeal for me.  I mean, I love Billie Piper.  She was my first ever companion!  I knew Doctor Who existed as a kid because it was that weird show with the scarf guy that looked like it must be horrible so I never watched it.  It wasn’t until I was an adult and they relaunched it that I gave it a chance.  So of course, like everyone else who first saw the Doctor through the eyes of Rose, Billie Piper is a big deal, she was there for us, we were supposed to see ourselves in her (ok. I know I just set up a pun there, ignore it).  The thing is I have a lot of affection so i don’t want my first comments to seem negative, she is wonderful.  She just… doesn’t often catch my fancy.  I almost don’t think of her that way.  I guess it’s like when people say it’s like thinking that way about your sister.  I don’t know, I don’t have a sister, someone with a sister will have to tell me (Oh god, what am I doing on this post.  Don’t tell me!  Look, you guys have sent me messages like that before, I really don’t need to know how much you like one of your family members boobs.  Somethings should stay personal).  What I am saying is… god I don’t even know, I have made a total mess of this post, Billie deserves better because she is absolutely amazing.  Today I want to fuck Billie Piper.

So last time I posted Kato it turned out to be, you know, incredibly successful, well by this blogs standards.  Most popular post of all time.  I was surprised.  Also, got a few snide comments as a result.  Also surprised, they happen sometimes but… I guess more popular and there will be more negativity, right?  Mainly it was about if she had real breasts or not. Just a couple of things, talking about how someone looks fake or not what a real woman looks like is insulting.  She’s got two X Chromosomes (I assume) then she is indeed a real woman.  The only person you should throw the not real thing at is Pinocchio’s sister and even then you’re kind of a dick.  Secondly, I had this long thing in my mind planned about feminist theory and stuff but this is not the place for it.  Send me a message if you want, I will talk theory for hours with you.  I will just say this, attacking women about what they have or have not done with their bodies is pretty much never feminism.  If you have a problem with a decision a woman made feel free to attack the source or circumstances you think cause women to be put in such situations (ie societal pressures for bigger breasts, the male gaze and how it dominates commerce) attacking a person has no point.  For real, no point, it isn’t going to solve shit and it won’t help the person.  Which is my other point, sorta, just because someone makes a decision you would not does not make them wrong or immoral.  This applies to feminism, too.  But enough of that nonsense cause that is not what this is about, this is about a very pretty girl and very awesome costumes.  I am in awe of anyone who can perfect a look as well as Kato does, it is just so impressive how everything she does, even for example the cosplay of a character from a movie like Baby Doll can so flawlessly still feel like it is part of the same aesthetic as everything else she does. I am very impressed with her steam punk style.  And now I will debase all my top of this entry arguments by objectifying her and stating that today I want to fuck Kato.