Tag: blonde

I just watched the final episode of Eureka.  I know it aired like a bajillion years ago now but that’s what Netflix was for.  It was one of those shows that was never great but always fun.  The kind of show that you can’t really say what draws you to but is charming enough that you keep going back.  At least, I did.  Anyway, Jordan Hinson was a regular and a catalyst for the show once upon a time and she was always attractive in an interesting way.  I couldn’t put my finger quite on why but there was just something about her.  So in honor of getting through the show she is here.  Today I want to fuck Jordan Hinson.

I feel like it’s been a while since I posted Scarlett, she is actually one of my most posted celebrities but it comes in waves because unless she’s doing a movie… well, pictures of her are way rarer than they were a half a decade ago.  I wish they weren’t but I can’t just make Scarlett Johansson appear out of thin air.  Holy crap you guys if I could… well, I might still have this blog but I promise you she’d help proof read it!  Wait, that’s the lamest fantasy ever.  Well, that’s what happen when you just let yourself ramble meaninglessly, they can’t all be winners.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

I have woken up this morning and I feel like I am dying.  Or dead.  Or like I was dead for three days.  I’m not saying I’m Jesus, just the Jesus of blogging about what celebrities I want to sleep with.  Or something close.  My point is that I am sore all over and my head feels like it wants to explode.  I really would not be surprised if it split open and a living creature just crawled out.  That’s what happened if I don’t post tomorrow.  My head gave birth.  Wait, am I comparing myself to Zeus now?  Maybe I really do have some sort of god complex… anyway, happy Easter, I hope it’s a good one be you a believer in Jewish Zombies or just ancient fertility rites.  Either way, here is Kate Upton dressed  as a bunny.  And wearing Beach Bunny bikinis.  And putting on roller skates.  I am not sure how the last one really applies but if I felt better I am pretty sure I could come up with some mildly convincing bullshit.  I’ve been doing this over the year so let’s all just agree to pretend that’s what I did, I think I’ve earned a freebie.  Anyway, fertility rites, birth and rebirth, Kate Upton makes me think about those things.  Sorta.  Well, you get it, right?  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

It has been for real over a month since i posted Kate Upton, which may be kind of a record for me.  See, she’s been posted at a rate of like one and half times a month since I started this blog.  I like her.  I mean, there are so many people to post it isn’t like it should be stunning she has been absent for about 30 days but the thing is I could post her every day and i wouldn’t really be lying.  I might have someone else more on my mind but most days if you mentioned her I am pretty sure that is where my thoughts and desires would go as well. Because she’s just… well, I think she is amazing looking.  Obviously a lot of people agree.  Some people don’t.  That’s cool, I guess we all have a type and for whatever reason she is mine, something about her hits me just right.  So today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I know Claire Holt from the Vampire Diaries, which makes sense because she’s on the show and actually hasn’t been on a lot else.   She plays what is I guess an evil character but really nothing is that simple on the show and I have always had a soft spot for her.  That’s a classic story telling trick, you take a bad guy and make it stem from a relatable pain and insecurity and at least some people will care.  Anyway, the real point is I think she’s pretty and thought so from the second she appeared but she is hard to find pictures of.  I mean, they are out there, there just aren’t a lot.  Anyway, last night I watched the latest Vampire Diaries and today I want to fuck Claire Holt.

Let’s get this out of the way first, this post is pretty much 100% about and because of Barbarella, which I am sitting through for reasons I cannot entirely explain besides, “Because”.  See, between partying with Ho Chi Min and making workout videos and marrying Ted Turner, Jane Fonda was an actress and for those of you who don’t know Barbarella is a movie that I am pretty sure exists so teens had something to masturbate to before scrambled porn.  I could be off but since it makes pretty much zero sense and is pretty much Fonda as a naive and easily seducable space nymphet chasing a McGuffin in various states of undresses and sexy space outfits I assume that’s the point.  Anyway, I remember seeing it as a teen who had grown bored of scrambled porn and about the general impression I had was, “Jane Fonda was hot in that movie”.  I am watching it and… I was right.  The movie is worse than I would have realized or admitted at 13 but Jane Fonda is pretty hot.  So there we go, today I want to fuck Jane Fonda.

It is one of the worst kept secrets of this blog that I really, really like Mosh.  She is one of the most frequent to appear here and every time I post her again I remember why all over again.  She is just so gorgeous.  I almost forget between times before I get lost in looking for pictures of her.  There are lots of pretty girl, lots of talented girls, lots of impressive girls who have shown up here but Mosh is a whole other level.  She is just so gorgeous.  Putting aside her talent, which she just has so much of, she is just so beautiful.  Her flawless, porcelain skin, her hair, her make up, her body… all of it is just astounding.  I wish my meager words were worthy of the work she does but they simply aren’t.  She is amazing and today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

I was working in a record store when Shakira broke in the US.  There were discussions about if she was hot or not and it quickly became apparent that those who fell on the “not” side of the divide had not seen her video, they had only seen the cover to Laundry Service.  So I told them, “No, really, you have to see how her hips move”.  I have included a gif of that for your viewing pleasure as well.  Anyway, the next day one of them came back and said, “Ok, I saw watched her hips, you’re right, she’s hot”.  My point is just basically that Shakira is pretty hot but pictures don’t do her justice, so thank god for gifs.  I can’t say I ever think of her anymore, I can’t believe that story took place 12 years ago but for some reason she popped into my thoughts today and well, she’s hot.  So today I want to fuck Shakira.

So Kristen Bell hasn’t been here in a while and wow is she pregnant these days.  Now, technically pregnancy is a binary system, you are or you aren’t, there aren’t degrees but let’s be honest, she’s pretty pregnant looking to me.  Of course, it isn’t surprising that she’s still beautiful because… sigh.. Kristen Bell is perfect.  And I am not deterred, one day I will have her babies, you’ll all see!  Anyway, Kristen is still my biggest celebrity crush in the history of forever and she is beautiful.  So here are some pictures of her decidedly pregnant and decidedly not, just for comparisons sake.  I love her, she is great.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

If blogging Pixie Lott has taught me anything it is that people seem to really like her legs.  I know because so many of the reblogs of her have been tagged with things like “leg porn” and “UNF those legs”.  Well, I am here to say I agree, I like her legs.  So hooray for legs, without them we couldn’t walk and no one would ever send me messages telling me how much they’d like to lick them (to be fair I agree)(to clarify I mean I get the urge to lick them, I have no opinion on you licking them, I am pretty much not concerned with your licking habits assuming they are consentual).  She is of course more than her legs, she is a very pretty girl, just lovely all over.  Of course, at this point it is ridiculously well documented that I have a thing for blondes and that I have a thing for British girls, so she’s kind of a double whammy for me.  Of course, like all British stars she just doesn’t enter my orbit often enough for her to show up all the time but when she does… well rest assured it’s because I was reminded that oh yeah, that girl is really pretty and hits me in my sweet spot.  What I am saying is that today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.