Tag: Katy Perry

So people reblog stuff asking you to vote for this or that and I often click on it because voting is fun.  This time it was for the people’s choice and I noticed something very disturbing.  The people’s choice is full of shit.  It is not the people’s choice at all, the first vote is for best movie of the year, there are only 5 choices.  There are near 100 major studio releases alone in a year.  None of those movies were my favorite. I am people!  I had no choice!  Not really.  Some cadre of elites instead chooses five movies, shows them to us, tell us to pick and uses it as an opiate to keep us sated.  We think our voice counts, we think we chose something.  We chose shit, we drove along on rails like they wanted us to.  It’s bullshit and we shouldn’t take it anymore.  I say we rise up and take back the awards that bare out name,the people.  I don’t want some horse shit category called best “Alternative Artist” and have it be full of top 40 hits.  Rise up!  People of the world unite; the only thing you have to lose is your chains!  Faux voting is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opiate of the masses!  The first requisite for the happiness of the masses is the abolition of the People Choice Awards!  Rise up, strike back and take what is rightfully yours, for what is the death of thousands compared to the degradation of millions?

So anyway, I voted and Katy Perry was my choice for best pop star cause like, who else was I going to vote for?  Bruno Mars?  Please.  She’s hot and so she got my vote and today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.  Mine was pretty good and I just got home loaded down with leftovers.  I dig leftovers.  I always have.   If I liked something the first time I don’t know why I wouldn’t the second time.  Turkey sandwiches are flat out amazing and the idea of having a turkey sandwich whenever the hell I want for the rest of the weekend?  That is freedom, people.  That’s why George Washington crossed the Delaware and punched King George in the nuts, so that I could do whatever the fuck I wanted.  And I am thankful for that. I don’t understand people who don’t like leftovers.  They moan about it and I think it must be some out dated left over from an era where women were meant to cook and clean and nothing else, so leftovers were some sort of indicator in the failing of your wife.  So of course you were supposed to complain about it before sitting down in your easy chair, pulling out your pipe and sighing contently that your neighborhood stayed “white” out later.  What I am basically saying is if you don’t like leftovers you’re probably a sexist and a racist.  Also a homophobe but I couldn’t work that in gracefully.  If I loved something yesterday I will love it tomorrow.  I bring this up because I used to get a lot of complaints about posting the same people a lot.  To be more specific people thought I posted Katy Perry too much.  Now, I get that eventually tastes change or you move on but if she was hot yesterday she’s probably hot today.  No, she is definitely hot today.  I mean look.  Anyway, those people don’t complain anymore.  Maybe they stopped following me.  Maybe they pulled their heads out of their asses and looked at how hot she is.  My point is I was right, they were wrong, and I believe in America.  And Freedom.  And Turkey.  And today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I have only once before posted the same girl two days in a row.  It was Scarlett Johansson and it was the day Avengers came out.  Now it’s Katy Perry.  She wasn’t in Avengers or anything major, just my fantasies.  It is very odd for my mercurial tastes to coincide like this but… here she is.  Again.  Because she is gorgeous.  And she is sexy.  And I just…. unf, you know?  You know, you’re here. Besides, it’s almost Halloween and she loves to play dress up so… I am just being seasonal.  Seasonal and obsessed with Katy Perry.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

It was Katy Perry’s birthday just the other day, which is exciting I guess?  It means we’re both Scorpios which means we were born about the same time and basically nothing else. But it also means my birthday is quickly approaching, so go ahead and get together those last minute gifts you’re planning for me.  Anyway, here are some picture of her because it’s 5 AM and apparently I am up for the day.  Like that makes sense.  It’s too early for me to have a lot to say here besides the following: Katy Perry is very hot, these are hot pictures of Katy Perry, today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I was not planning on posting Katy Perry when I sat down but then fate conspired against me.  I had a message in my in box that was about Katy Perry’s boobs.  Kinda.  Thing is, it got my mind going this way and now… here we are.  It makes sense.  Just last night I watched her appearance on Fallon.  Tonight she’ll be on SNL.  Things about her boobs are in my ask box.  The universe is telling me something.  I won’t fight it because obviously I like Katy a lot.  She’s silly and kind of ridiculous but in a generally good way.  And yeah she’s hot.  Including her boobs.  Her boobs are hot, too.  You probably never noticed.  You’re welcome.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I am awake after being asleep for an hour or so because apparently while I was asleep someone physically moved my home to the middle of a trailer park so a couple was loudly outside fighting.  Like no joke glass breaking in the alley, people shouting at each other.  It was fucking ridiculous.  Seriously, kids, never be that person.  Nothing shows the quality of your character, or the lack of quality of your character like getting into some loud drama bomb fight in public.  Or rather the lack of your character.  If you can’t wait to get to the confines of your own home, if you can’t maintain a civil volume level you are seriously lacking in maturity.  Grow the fuck up.  Be an adult like me and quietly post about what celebrity you are most attracted to at the moment.  You know, like a sophisticated adult.  That’s me, I’m a sophisticant and that’s why I am posting Katy Perry, because my sophisticated level of taste has allowed me to detect that she is ridiculously hot.  This is the good kind of ridiculous.  Breaking glass and fighting with your girlfriend is the bad kind of ridiculous.  So there you go.  I can’t get back to sleep.  If there were justice in the world Katy Perry would come rock me to sleep.  Yes, justice.  That would be justice, because I am a mature adult and thus want a woman to cradle my head in her breasts and rock me to sleep. Like a mature adult.  I am not helping my point at all here.  Whatever.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

Man, the thing about being a sports fan is it can just ruin your day sometimes.  My boys got beat bad and beat hard yesterday.  It is amazing how it can ruin my day to see a beating like that.  So here is Katy Perry being generally a little silly to cheer me up.  Silly can be hot.  Or… well if not hot it can be appealing.  People have their complaints about the reality of porn and there are lots of valid points but one thing that has always struck me is no one ever gets a fit of the giggles.  Giggles happen during sex sometimes.  People laugh, sometimes nervously, sometimes because things don’t go smoothly, sometimes because you’re having a good time.  Like, attraction and stuff isn’t really serious business, at least it shouldn’t be.  It’s ok to be a goofball sometimes, it’s fun to just be goofy and worry less about what is attractive or impressive and more about what is just fun.  I think one of the things about Katy Perry I like is even if something isn’t my sense of humor she seems like she likes to have fun, she isn’t afraid to be goofy (of course, it’s ok to look goofy dressing like an ice cream cone when you have that body to back it up but you know… I still like it).  Anyway, that’s why today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

Katy Perry has appeared here more often than everyone but one person (and if you don’t know who has been here the most often you’re either new or you don’t even know you’re following me).  It seems a little strange that she is here so often because she doesn’t fit the typical bill, I would not say I am obsessed with her.  I don’t have some special connection to her or her work.  I don’t really even think about her very often.  Except when I do.  Then look out because man.. I am into her.  I can only assume this is because she is so good looking.  And she has a sort of cartoonish, outsized image she projects that demand attention.  So when I do think about her man do I think about her, suddenly it’s only Katy Perry I think about and I would swear this would be an all Katy Perry blog from here out.  Except that never happens.  So that’s why she’s here so often because she’ll pop up in the news or on TV or my dash and suddenly I have fireworks in my eyes… or like whipped cream shooting boobs or whatever.  My point is she is hot and desirable and today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

Something popped up on my dash not too long ago that said something like, “It doesn’t matter if you like her music or not if you don’t think Katy Perry is hot there is something wrong with you”.  I am not going to start declaring there is something wrong with you but they have a point there, she’s pretty clearly hot.  Then I got thinking… no one has ever told me she’s not hot.  I have gotten some comments about how they don’t like her music or how people think she stole her style or whatever.  No one has ever told me Katy Perry is not hot.  So I am thinking… maybe everyone does think she’s hot.  They might not like her but they think she’s hot.  I don’t have evidence but I’d believe it because she’s pretty hot.  I guess it doesn’t matter really what the percentage of people out there who believe in the hotness of Katy Perry is because it’s my blog and I think so.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I woke up this morning thinking about Katy Perry.  I didn’t have time to post then, I had a bunch of errands but here we are hours and hours later and… I am still thinking about Katy Perry.  This happens with her sometimes.  Or usually.  I guess sometimes it happens in the sense that I don’t find myself obsessed with Katy Perry every day BUT when she gets posted it is usually what happens.  When I first started this blog someone told me, “Wow, you sure like Katy Perry”.  Which seemed odd because I didn’t realize that.  Turns out they were kind of right.  She has never been at any point in this blog’s history the most frequently picked celebrity but she has always been close.  This is her 21st appearance, meaning her tag gets 3 pages now on my blog.  That means only Kate Upton has shown up more.  I was wondering why, almost everyone else I can articulate some kind of connection to the celebrity that makes them more appealing to me because let’s be honest, they’re all physically attractive.  But I can’t with her, so why do I like her?  I guess the easy answer and the answer at least one smart ass I know will give is LOLBOOBS.  And like, I don’t want to discount the power of nice breasts, I was told just the other day everyone likes breasts, even the old lady at the candy store (which immediately sounds creepy, why is she hanging out at a candy store trying to see boobs?).  But that first of all dismisses all the other excellent features she has, she is just top to bottom gorgeous.  But that’s not enough.  I think it has to be her attitude.  It could all be a show, I know this, but seeing someone have a lot of fun, enjoy themselves?  That is very attractive.  We like seeing people happy, at least most of us do.  Some people could take some lessons from this, it isn’t fun being around mopey sadsacks.  Ok, this just got awful, you can feel how you want, I am just saying that there is a lot of attraction to someone who has a lust for life than someone who goes out of their way to be dour.  So I think maybe that’s it, she always seems to be having fun, she seems to know how to enjoy life.  I want to possess that!  And… yeah her boobs, too.  I’ll really take it all, I’m very accepting like that, I will take all of Katy Perry.  Because today I want to fuck Katy Perry.