Kelly Brook is interesting because she has appeared here a lot. I mean, a lot. This is like her 7th time or something? The only people who I can confidently say have been here more are Kristen Bell, Scarlett Johansson, Amber Heard, Kate Upton, and Katy Perry. I feel like the first two I can really talk about their acting skill, Amber Heard has that too. Kate Upton I am dazzled by her personality and her ability to market herself on top of her ability as a model. Katy Perry, I am not a huge fan of her music but it would be foolish to diminish her abilities as a performer or her impact on the pop landscape. Kelly Brook? I don’t know. She is a model and actress, I happened to enjoy her in one thing I saw but mainly I know her as a model. I like her modelling but I don’t know what more to say about it. I can crack jokes about liking British women (let’s be honest, it doesn’t seem like a joke most of the time given how true it seems. There might be a British girl out there I seriously crush on…). I have maybe mentioned her chest now and then because it seems to be a topic of conversation in the British media. I have no clue how it draws attention. It’s just… I like her, clearly a lot, and I don’t have a reason why. She is just that hot British model who turns my crank. So… today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
Tag: Kelly Brook
Today I was awoken by my longtime nemesis, the road race, more specifically a marathon. Now, I am all for people getting up way too fucking early and running distances that are unhealthy for the human body in honor of battles fought 2500 years ago, we all can see why that’s important, what I have never understood is why they require people on megaphones shouting encouragement while Moves like Jagger plays in the background. I don’t understand the mechanics of running enough to really get why a bunch of middle aged suburbanites forming drum circles and playing the summer hits of 4 years ago helps people run 26 miles but it must because otherwise you’d have to be an asshole to pump My Humps outside my bedroom window at 6 AM. No one would play that song if there wasn’t a damn good reason, right? Anyway, you are probably wondering what this has to do with my post today and the answer is nothing, sometimes it’s just fun to bitch. I’m cranky, it’s early, and I can barely hear myself think because right at this moment Super Bass is playing so loud my ears might bleed (for the third time! If you’re going to blast music can’t you get more than like 12 songs? Christ a Shuffle holds like 100!). So I guess… I want to rush to Kelly Brook’s comforting arms? I don’t know, I am sure there is something really twisted and Freudian that I could write about finding comfort in the bosom of whatever, the simple fact is I have been poking around for pictures this morning and today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
Last time I wrote about Kelly Brook I just wrote boobs a bunch of times and thought I was pretty hilarious. It proved to be my most popular Kelly Brook post ever so I am hoping that means everyone agreed that I am hilarious. Thing is, I have no clue why I wrote that. I mean, look at Kelly Brook, is the first thing you think of boobs? I mean, she has brown hair also, she has a lovely accent, though I guess you can’t hear it. She’s really good at… fuck, she’s really good at standing there and looking good and making my eyes focus on her chest. She has a nice ass, too! And, overall she’s in very good shape. She has all her own teeth! Often her dresses are sparkly and shiny! I… I give up. BOOBS!!!! BOOOOOOBS! Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
Boobs boobs, boobs boobs. Boobs boobs boobs… boobs boobs. Boobs. Boobs boobs boobs. Boobs, boobs boobs boobs, Boobs boobs boobs. Boobs (boobs boobs boobs) Boobs boobs; boobs boobs. Boobs. Boobs boobs, British Boobs. Boobs? Boobs.
I dedicate a lot of words here sometimes but the truth is I am human like everyone else and sometimes I am just interested in simple pleasures. I could write more but I think I pretty much explained it, today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
I was having a conversation with a dear friend recently when Kelly Brook came up. I brought her up but the discussion had something to do with talent in England and she said, “Kelly Brook has talent?" And I immediately replied, "Yes, I think it’s at least DD”. I feel a little bad about that now because… I don’t like being so dismissive. Despite having a blog about the objectification of women I feel bad about reducing a human to a set of traits, insulting them like that. And the thing is, I happen to think modelling takes a lot of skill, it’s why good models stand out so much. They don’t just look pretty. But that’s maybe the key difference here because she is British and her attitude is not uncommon among others I have heard from over there. Now I am realizing it’s because she’s not a model first, that’s just how I, in the states, was introduced to her, the hot girl in those pictures who kept popping up. I guess over there she was the hot presenter and hot actress and whatever and I think maybe that gives a whole different perspective. It means she will be stuck in your mind as a bad actress and thus flavor your entire thought process. While I on the other hand saw her as the hot model from the UK and eventually when I happened to see her in some stuff I shrugged because whatever, hot model can’t act, not a big deal. These are the sort of things I find interesting, how our experience with media or a celebrity changes our perception of them. It’s always (or almost always) a one way street, we have a relationship with them through their work, they have none with us. Where it gets interesting to me is that we all have access to the same work but because we consume and experience it differently our perception of the person changes. These are a lot of words for me to basically say I am sorry for saying Kelly Brook has no talent. I happen to enjoy pretty much every picture I see of her. You are welcome to think what you want about the talent that takes but I like. And yeah, I like her boobs, it’s why mind went there for that joke. Honestly I like her whole body, what can I say, I’m basically like a saint throwing her that bone. Anyway, time to wrap this up so I will just say, I like boobs, I like British women, I like accents, I like Kelly Brook. Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
Sometimes I wonder why I am attracted to certain people besides the obvious. I have a bit of a contrarian streak in me, plus as someone who grew up on a steady diet of punk rock and then various indie acts that dominated my home town I seem to have a taste for the more obscure. Not that Kelly Brook is like, some unknown flower I discovered but she isn’t exactly a name everyone in America knows. After all, she’s foreign, which clearly makes me enlightened. Ain’t I a sophisticatant? But… I don’t know if that’s true or not, I think mainly I like her because she’s hot. But there’s a lot of hot girls so maybe somewhere in my soul I imagine myself somewhere on the French Riviera, surrounded by men in monocle and women with cigarette holders as I wow them with my witty repartee. We’d all laugh and drink and I would blow them away as I say, “Ain’t I a sophisticant, today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.”
It doesn’t matter how much Doctor Who I watch, I am not British. I probably saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail like 100 times by the time I was 10 years old but again, I am still not British. As such, I get some stuff, like I totally know what the Loo is. Or a Lift. Or that when someone calls someone a geezer they aren’t talking about an old man, you pick stuff up from context. As such, I have no idea what this Skyride event is but from what I have seen over the years I can pretty much piece it together. It appears to be some sort of event that exists to get Kelly Brook on a bicycle wearing something that shows off her chest. From what I can see here it appears to be going swimmingly. Oh sure, sometimes it works a little better than other times but I don’t think the planners can complain. Mission accomplished, Kelly Brook Boobs. Well done, England, well done. I am going to go ahead and say I am not really sure how they lost the Empire because this is some very, very solid thinking. So, there we go and event I have decided is all about Kelly Brook, boobs, and bicycles (I could be wrong, I guess if you know otherwise let me know). But until I hear otherwise: Brook, boobs, bikes. I approve. Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
I don’t get a lot of opportunity to see Kelly Brook because… well, when would I? She isn’t on TV, she isn’t really in many movies. But now and then pictures of her do show up and it serves as a reminder that Kelly Brook is hot. So here I am, mentioning that Kelly Brook is hot. And she is, obviously. So I like her, I like her smile, I like her body, I like her hair, hell, I like her accent and in general I tend to like English girls. And you know what that means? Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
I don’t know how I first heard of Kelly Brook. She’s an English model and Television Presenter and… I’m not English. I just know I did eventually hear of her. And she is hot. I was actually warned by a friend to not seek out her work. I saw her in Piranha 3-D and I liked her fine there. Of course, her job there was to be hot and have great breasts. She was hot and had great breasts. She still is hot and has great breasts and today I want to fuck Kelly Brook
Who I want to Fuck Today 