Tag: Model

So yesterday when this started popping up everywhere I knew it was pretty much a given that I’d be posting Emily Ratajkowski today.  Not only does she look great and is that a great dress but it’s also shiny and I am a big dumb idiot who likes shiny things.  It is just a killer look though.  She has a lot of killer looks though. She has some misses, I haven’t loved everything she’s worn over the past two weeks but I can appreciate most of it on some level.  And some of it just stellar.  That suit she wore earlier in the day yesterday?  Man, she looks great there.  It’s a great look, a great color, even those boots are just perfect.  She looked great all day yesterday I guess.  Anyway, she’s here.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

If you hate models I have bad news for you.  Well, lots of bad news.  One is that if you literally hate people for something so minor as they have chosen a career that you have decided to vilify then life is not going to be pleasant for you.  That’s a lot of hate to direct at something that frankly doesn’t matter and it will eat away at your soul over time.  Hate will destroy you eventually.  This isn’t some new age Jedi bullshit, I don’t think you’ll develop yellow eyes or anything, it is just that people just only have so much energy and what you’ll find is if you focus on what you hate instead of what you love people will just not want to spend time with you because you’re likely not a very pleasant person to be around.  It’s a thing to think about.  But that wasn’t my initial point, more immediately than the slow souring of your spirit, if you hate models the bad news is we’re into our 4th Fashion Week and it means I am still posting a lot of models.  I guess if you just don’t like the models I like this isn’t great for you either.  I didn’t create fashion week though, I am just the beneficiary. Obviously I am helpless to make my own decisions, I have to post models who show up at things.  Anyway, Gigi Hadid was at a thing last night that I can’t remember.  A cocktail party?  A launch event?  It all blurs together and let’s be honest, at their core they are all advertisements, some just more blatant than others.  So she was at an advertisement for something fashion related but one of the good kind of ads that have people dress up fancy, which is nice for those of us who like seeing people dress up fancy.  She looked pretty cool in my mind.  I liked her dress.  So today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.  

So Barbara Palvin is in Paris now.  For Fashion Week I mean.  I’m not tracking her movements.  That would be creepy.  But she is there and she wore a shiny dress and I thought she looked really great and I was like, “Oh wow, I need to post her. It’s been forever since I posted her”.  By forever it turns out I meant literally 5 days.  Five Days is Forever.  Which, now that I say it out loud sounds like a great name for a mid 2000’s Emo Band.  You’re welcome to it if you’re a time traveling musician. Anyway, I can’t be expected to keep track of things like time or my own blog, not when there are pictures of Barbara Palvin to look at.  Here are pictures of her at various things, mostly Fashion Week stuff but not all because there are only so many.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

So Paris Fashion Week is a thing that’s going on.  I haven’t seen much of anything from it yet, which makes sense, this sort of thing takes time to ramp up.  But Emily Ratajkowski has already shown up at stuff and that’s good enough for me because I am still under the weather and she is hot.  SO I am posting her cause it’s nice and easy.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowksi.

Gigi Hadid is here because it’s about damn time.  She has been near the top quite a few days thanks to her being in pretty much every major show in Milan but kept getting bumped by someone else.  So she’s here and it’s interesting with a lot of the fashion shows, so much of it is not for me yet there is almost always something I can find I like in every model.  Not the model personally, though I am sure if I put in the effort that would be true.  There are very few people who are so irredeemable they have nothing in them worthy of praise and I doubt that they have all flocked to modeling.  I mean what they are wearing though, even some stuff I don’t like there is some aspect I do.  And of course some of what Gigi has walked in I have loved.  The strangest thing to me about runway work is the faces.  It’s the no smiling thing which I realize has lots of roots in the past, mainly in aristocratic disdain and Victorian hate for emotions.  Definitely a tradition worth preserving.  But it’s strange.  I get for passport photos you need to look deeply unhappy because as every science fiction vehicle from the 1960’s taught us, human emotion can literally make a computer explode, so a smile would bring down the entire Internet when facial recognition software tried to work.  But with clothes?  Really?  I head someone says a smile might distract from the clothes.  Boy, I dunno, if you’re worried people might be looking at the girls instead of the clothes maybe don’t have such a high beauty standard for modeling.  I dunno, I just find it strange that there are a set of people in the world who get immediately unhappy if people seem to be having too much fun.  I feel bad for those people, I think they must be deeply unhappy.  I don’t really have a point here, I just want to look down my nose at unhappy people I guess?  Ha, take that people who are already miserable!  Anyway, Gigi looks good and I have enjoyed seeing her all over Milan and today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

I was having trouble knowing what to write or do today.  I was in a dark mood and I try not to let those take over my life and infect what I do but it can be hard.  But then Barbara Palvin showed up in pictures from the Alberta Ferretti Show during Milan Fashion Week and it solved everything.  That’s a pretty good trick.  I had someone to post and had something to talk about which is holy fuck Barbara Palvin looks hot as fuck walking for Alberta Ferretti.  Now, obviously she’s wearing a shiny shirt and well… ok in the Ozarks the most unsporting way to hunt a raccoon was to cut a small hole in a log and place something shiny in it.  The raccoon would reach in and grab the shiny thing but by making a fist it’s hand was too big to get back out.  But the Raccoon will not give up it’s shiny stuff, so it’s still there when the hunter comes back, trying to pull it’s little hand free and then the hunter bashes the raccoon in the head and the hunt is over.  What I am saying is when I die there is about a 90% chance it will be because someone puts a celebrity in a sparkly dress and then bashes me over the head with a rock.  It’s how I am going to go.  We all have our own fate.  So yeah, she’s wearing a shiny shirt and that must be a factor but really she just looks so good.  So very good.  So she is here.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Every time when Fashion Week starts I find myself wishing it would never end (note: it is now over).  I mean, Ok, technically we get 4 weeks of it and London and Paris can give us some goodies but New York is always the most lucrative in the sense of lots of people I want to see wearing nice things showing up and wearing nice things.  Today was another tough choice but I really like Kate Upton’s silver top.  It’s just a good look for her and she has looked pretty good lately on the red carpet, not something that is always true.  Whatever decisions she’s making now though it’s the right one, I thought she looked fantastic.  So she’s here.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

New York Fashion Week continues and basically by law I have to put Doutzen Kroes here today because in the past two days she has had two killer outfits, which just demands attention. And a third one in there that was pretty good but that red gown with the see through panel down the side and that leather jacket?  Those are killer looks.  (Oh Hey, while I am at it my old buddy @pigeonfoo has a birthday today and that’s worth mentioning.  I mean she and Doutzen are both models so it’s almost like they’re the same person and you guys should check out her blog and wish her happy birthday.  I think it’s traditional to just send her a check or something in her culture so do that, don’t be rude).  Anyway, I love Doutzen’s looks there and when I saw one after another pop up last night I was pretty sure I would post her today.  I was right.  I’m some sort of genius I guess with my own self fulfilled predictions always coming true.  I could even guess how I’ll end this post if I really wanted to. Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

Hope everyone is having a fun and relaxing holiday.  Or a fun and not that relaxing holiday if you’re one of those weirdos.  I can’t imagine there is anyone wants a boring and relaxing holiday though, that sounds miserable.  Or it could be not a holiday where you are but maybe your country should have been anti-communist enough to move Labor Day to the fall so it wouldn’t be associated with May Day.  Whatever your day is I hope it’s good.  Here are pictures of Emily Ratajkowski and I guess she looks pretty relaxed in them.  Good, that fits the theme I suppose.  I just posted her cause she’s pretty but I’m willing to pretend I had some greater point to make.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Kelly Brook has released some shots from her new Calendar and I think that deserves a post.  Not because of the pictures because who cares about half naked women.  No, because it’s a Calendar and a I am a big, big fan of linear time.  As is Kelly Brook since she puts in so much effort every year in commemorate the concept by publishing calendars.  She is a responsible celebrity and knows there are many options out there for calendars and a lot of people probably have let paper ones fall to the wayside but she has fans and she knows they may buy her calendar and thus accidentally continue perhaps the greatest legacy of Western thought, linear time.  You see, a lot of ancient people, and I mean a lot, thought time was cyclical.  Time is a great wheel that rotates and comes around again and again.  And it’s a fun thought exercise and philosophical debate about history repeating itself again and again but the idea of an actual wheel of time is nothing but a wheel of oppression to crush all under.  It destroys free will.  Everything we are doing has happened and will happen again.  It is predestined and we are but just puppets on the strings of master time.  This is fucking horrifying.  Thankfully, as the heirs to Western thought (I mean, I assume that’s true of most people reading this.  If not sorry?  You can embrace this element though) we have linear time and along with it free will.  We are free to fuck up in new and inventive ways, even if it leads us down similar paths of self destruction our forebears traveled.  It’s similar but it’s our own damn path and our own damn choice. This is pretty much the most powerful bit of freedom any of us can have.  And given her 20 year dedication to making calendars I can only assume Kelly Brook understands this and wants to remind us all every year.  She really deserves thanks for that so I am celebrating it right here with pictures honoring her calendar history.  Thank you, Kelly.  Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.