Tag: Model

Funny, just a few days ago there were complaints about nothing going on but now the slew of Jingle Balls have started across the country and we won’t lack for pictures until Christmas.  On top of that there will be the Love Advent stuff which is always slightly creepy to me but at least one person will show up and I will post her cause I won’t be able to help it.  So there is a lot of competition but I am posting Mosh cause Mosh posted a few pictures of her modeling for Guess and man they are fantastic.  I mourn the loss of Mosh to us common folk, the days where we would regularly get new sets of pictures and so on, now you have to dig as she works for like… real companies I guess?  Companies who foolishly horde most of their pictures of Mosh.  I mean, Guess, if you actually published these in a way that was then easy for people like me to find, I would mention your name in like… 2-3 more posts at least.  And if there is anything people come here for it’s for Brand Recognition and fashion advice.  It’s the #1 reason people follow me.  You fools are just leaving mountains of money on the table.  So I miss Mosh.  But you know, it’s a nice rare treat when something came up and a nice early Christmas Present.  Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

So there was a viewing party for the Victoria Secret Fashion show last night and Candice Swanepoel looked fantastic on the red carpet.  She was wearing like… I think they might have been pajamas.  Which makes me think it was a slumber party but no one else was wearing pajamas.  They are see through and just very fun to look at and well… look, it was very clever of her.  Besides the fact that I love the look, it’s pretty well documented that I love slumber parties.  You can ask my friend @lunoboom if she actually ever sees this and logs on, she often accused me of being obsessed with slumber parties.  And it’s well known that Candice Swanepoel is obsessed with me.  I thought she had given up but no, she’s just gotten more subtle.  My two favorite things? Slumber parties and… things that kinda look like those pajamas that might not be pajamas it might just be too fashion forward for me?  Everyone knows those are my two favorite things.  Very clever, Candy, you win this time, I’m posting you. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Guys, I think we are officially into the Christmas season now even though it doesn’t quite feel like it to me. Maybe when December gets here.  Either way, I am posting Jessica Nigri today and my reasons for posting her has nothing to do with Christmas but I did include some Christmasy type pictures just in case it helps anyone get into the holiday cheer.  I don’t have much of a reason for posting her besides the fact that sometimes I am simple.  She’s pretty hot. Sometimes that’s all I need really.  Plus I mean, my attempts to pass along Christmas cheer I guess.  Ho Ho Ho.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.

Victoria’s Secret’s Fashion Show was this past weekend and pictures of it have been popping up and so here is Candice Swanepoel.  I know I already posted her this weekend but that was unrelated.  That was me being busy and nice pictures of her being easy to find.  This is me seeing pictures of her walking for the show and liking them and so I am posting a bunch of pictures of her at this year’s and past year’s shows.  Radically different posts.  Except for the main point which is that today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

I am busy as a bee this weekend.  And not one of those lazy ass bees that is all like, “No, totally, I will meet you guys at the flower” and then sits around eating honey all day and when the other bees get back he’s like, “Oh you meant that flower?  I was wondering where you guys were.  I went to a totally different flower”.  Anyway, I am so busy I have no idea what’s going on but Candice Swanepoel is pretty and I am too busy to really write a decent post.  I’ll need you guys to just finish this entry.  Boy, I sure am <adjective> today.  Lots of <noun> going on this weekend.  So I have posted Candice Swanepoel because she is <adjective> and <adjective>.  Also because she looks good in lingerie.  Here she is in <adjective lingerie.  Sorry for those of you who prefer her in <article of clothing> but this is what I chose instead.  Anyway, she is here because I like her.  She actually is better than a <container> full of <plural noun>.  That went <adverb>.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

The Glamour Women of the Year awards were last night and lots of publications give Women of the Year and Men of the Year awards and it always strikes me as a little strange.  Sure, I like best picture or best new novel or whatever, that makes sense.  It is choosing the best of art that was produced to help honor and I assume bring attention to it so people know they should check it out.  But like… best person?  It just feels odd.  I had a joke here but I have lost it.  I will not be winning memory of the year sadly.  Anyway, the best looking Woman of the Event was Gigi Hadid.  She often looks good because she’s pretty but also she has a pretty good sense of style.  In this case the gown she wore was just fantastic.  I love it.  The intricate work on it, the color, the cut.  She looked great.  So today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

Halloween is done guys and thus it’s time to move on to the next thing. Summer. Obviously.  Or not obviously.  I mean that was a joke.  I guess I need to clarify since so many Brits felt the need yesterday to explain to me that Guy Fawkes Night is not the same thing as Halloween.  One guy even explained that it is not a mispronunciation of Halloween but an entirely separate Holiday.  Thanks, Internet, glad you’re on the job guys.  So I am joking about summer.  Unless you’re in Australia, in that case feel free to explain to me how you guys do seasons wrong.  And please, please correct me that they aren’t wrong but it has to do with what Hemisphere you live in (You know, the right one and the wrong one).  I really just wanted to post Alexis Ren because she’s pretty and it was easiest to choose a bunch of bikini pictures because she has done a lot of modeling for swimwear lines.  And htey are better pictures than the somewhat bland catalog pictures in front of a white wall that come with clothing lines sometimes.  But mainly because Summer is right around the corner and there is nothing else between Halloween and Summer.  Not a thing.  Today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

I don’t know if anyone is aware but it’s October and that means Halloween is coming.  I probably haven’t mentioned it so it’s ok if you didn’t realize.  It is coming though.  I am excited.  Again, you probably had no idea.  Anyway, here is Jessica Nigri cause she wears costumes.  Sometimes I like how she looks in costumes and I have liked a few things recently a lot.  And you know… I wanted something Halloweeny.  And I mean, look at that black nurse Mercy costume.  It’s terrifying right?  This is a completely spooky post and I forgive every one of you who is so frightened by these spooky costumes that you forget to hit like or reblog.  You were too terrified.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.

Sports Illustrated has started doing this thing where they are promoting the swimsuit issue year round.  I get this policy in general.  Like I get that magazines are dying and really there is no reason at all to read week old sports news so about the only content Sports Illustrated provides that no one else can match is pictures of super models in bikinis.  Which, now that I say it is probably something lots of people provide but more these specific pictures of super models in bikinis.  You can’t get these.  And even though Sports Illustrated has proven to be very bad at this, half the times the bikinis don’t even seem to fit right, I guess they have to share them among multiple models and the tops just end up to be too small a lot of times, people I guess just appreciate the effort. So I get all that but part of me would like a world where everything isn’t being promoted on social media all year long.  We should save that for truly special things.  Like Halloween.  On the other hand, it’s hard to get to annoyed when said promotion involves Kate Upton popping out of the water wearing a bikini.  I have conveniently turned that into a gif for you guys (and what a bitch it is to get it under Tumblr’s size limit) so you don’t have to go looking yourself.  I assume no one wants to see the actual video so I am saving you the hassle of having to look at a full minute of water dripping down Kate Upton’s body.  You’re welcome!  Anyway, I guess what I am saying is I am part of the problem because it’s Fall and I am posting bikini pictures of Kate Upton when in a just world I’d be posting… I guess pumpkin spice pictures of Kate Upton?  Sorry I am so weak guys.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Finally Doutzen Kroes shows up.  I feel like I have almost posted her a dozen times since Milan Fashion Week.  Almost because there have been a slew of people and while she is beautiful she has shown up less than some others and quantity over quality I always say!  There has just been intense competition but then she showed up at a thing I am now forgetting the name of because it was in honor of a model with a complicated name and I don’t know her that well and sorry.  The point is Doutzen showed up in a suit and just looked amazing.  So good I can’t imagine anyone topping that.  So she wins because she looked the best yesterday.  Of I guess everyone on the planet?  Seems like a big claim but I’ll make it.  None of you cowards have the balls to send me nasty comments not on anon anyway.  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.