Tag: Model

Looks like Emily Ratajkowski is doing more stuff for DKNY which is good because the campaigns they run with her tend to be just beautiful.  I am not sure how effective they are because I don’t actually know which bits of clothing they are selling.  It says DKNY intimates but often she’s just like, wearing a man’s shirt and I can’t see anything else.  So maybe it’s not effective.  Or maybe it is because I am talking about it right here and I can only assume most people make their life decisions based on what I talk about.  Sorry for all the bad horror movies you’ve watched then.  Anyway, she looked great and so here she is.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

So here is Hannah Ray who is absolutely killing it lately.  I mean, she tends to in general but this week there are a few pictures that I thought were just fantastic.   My good pal @she-goes-to-eleven is a fan of talking about how sexy Hannah Ray is and… yeah, you can definitely see that sometimes.  I have felt it this week. More so though, I am often impressed with her sense of style because there is just something about her personal sense of style that is always perfect.  And by perfect I don’t mean she has chosen the single greatest set of clothing in the history of man and it would look great on anyone but rather it is perfect for her.  Which is really the whole point of personal style.  It can be hard to mark out your own.  I have nailed the isolated loner aesthetic and fingers crossed in 10 years local kids will refer to my house as the one where the witch lives and everyone will spread vicious rumors about me. I’ll get up and pull my bathrobe a little tighter and shake my cane at them through the window and they’ll run away squealing in terror.  That’s my personal style that I have cultivated.  Hers is better and I am not sure how to describe it other than it always looks perfect.  I have a friend who has gotten a little closer by saying that Hannah Ray can wear stuff she would never in a million years look at twice on a shelf but it looks so perfect on Hannah that my friend immediately wishes she had it.  Despite knowing it wouldn’t work for her.  So you know, it’s impressive.  I assume it comes from being an artist, since she is a skilled photographer as well.  There is something to an artists eye that I envy.  I know what looks good but I can’t ever seem to create it.  I know when something doesn’t work but I have no idea how to make it work.  So I am always a little envious of people with this talent.  Anyway, she has looked very good lately and I am always a bit in awe of her whole feel, so today I want to fuck Hannah Ray.

The VMAs were last night and usually I would post about that but for whatever reason this morning I am posting Gigi Hadid, who I am pretty sure was not there.  This isn’t common for me but it happens.  The Heart wants what the heart wants.  Well… not the heart.  I mean, let’s be clear, I am not claiming I love Gigi Hadid.  Feels important to clarify for lots of reasons.  I don’t actually know her and I feel the internet has only accelerated something that has bothered me since I was a kid, which is the cheapening of our words by over using them. People used to tell me something was great or amazing and then it would turn out to be just ok and when confronted they would say something, “Yeah, when I say something is amazing I just mean I liked it”.  Well, that ruins language and I can’t think of a worse word for us to devalue as a culture than love.  It’s powerful stuff but only so long as we allow it to be.  Also, not only am I a hero for taking a stand on this important issue there is the fact that I haven’t met her and that is the action of a crazy person, claiming to love someone you don’t know.  Next thing I’ll be scrawling on the walls that we we’re meant to be together and it’s this whole long slide into this crazy stalker vibe and I’d have to get whole new clothes and I am just not that committed to it.  If it requires a uniform I am usually just too lazy to engage.  So you know, it’s not quite what the heart wants but I don’t want to be crude.  This is a family blog and it’s important to me that people can read it with their kids. That’s how we’ll know who shouldn’t be a parent.  Anyway, Gigi Hadid is here because I was discussing her with a friend last night and man she sure is good looking.  Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

Gigi Hadid showed up in Korean Vogue (I assume.  I am not in Korea and don’t own a copy of the magazine.  The photoshoot says it’s from Korean Vogue on the internet and sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.  Sure, the internet could be getting together to lie to all of us and Korean Vogue doesn’t even exist but you know what, that’s no way to live your life.  That level of distrust.  Sometimes you just have to trust that there isn’t a massive internet conspiracy to fabricate lies about imaginary magazines) and I think she looked great.  Like really good.  I don’t even have anything else to say about Gigi Hadid really. She’s here because she’s hot.  Sorry if you were hoping for more insight about fictional conspiracies or something.  Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

Previews for Sports Illustrated’s 2018 Swimsuit Issue have started to surface as they put up a picture or two of the various models and it serves as a great reminder than everything is a lie.  When that magazine comes out in like 9 months, just remember there is nothing in it that is vaguely recent.  Nothing like a peak behind the curtain to serve as that harsh wake up call that those people on TV are not friends, the monkey was an asshole, and every apartment you ever have will disappoint you because they are just not that big and if they were no person in their 20’s could afford one, especially not 20 somethings who seem to almost never be at work. There is probably a greater lesson there but I am not going to spoon feed it to you, I will just say Barbara Palvin is one of the people who will be in the issue and she is adorable and sexy.  So complete truth, today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.  

New work from Candice Swanepoel continues to trickle out and that is certainly nice to see.  I wouldn’t mind if it turned into a torrent but give it time I suppose.  She has looked good.  She often does.  On account of being good looking.  I don’t have a lot more to say than that though.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Kate Upton was in Shape magazine and that’s fantastic.  I am glad we seem to be getting more editorials featuring her lately because… because she’s pretty. Yeah, it’s pretty simple.  I like looking at Kate Upton and I think she has looked very good recently.  I quite liked the pictures, though a portion of the internet is complaining that she is too covered up.  I don’t think they like the jackets.  I have to say, they aren’t covering a lot but I can get the jacket bothering someone.  I don’t think she should work out or play basketball in the jacket she’s wearing in the picture I chose.  But I assume she’s doing that to keep warm before the coach sends her in.  This is important, you get sweaty and once you stop running around your cool down and eventually you can get chills, which aren’t just unpleasant, those chills can lead to muscle cramping.  I don’t want that and I assume Kate Upton doesn’t either.  So the jacket makes a lot of sense.  I guess what I am saying, Internet, is that sometimes it seems like nothing can actually make you happy.  I know that you can fall into this trap where just being negative seems like you are being insightful or smart but it’s a cover for insecurity, we all know that.  Regardless of why, eventually people aren’t going to want to hang out with you anymore because as we get older we realize we don’t need that kind of negativity in our life, that guy who shits on everything all the time.  So I get it, it’s not a typical warm up jacket but what do you want, past pictures have proven Kate Upton doesn’t have a lot of clothing, she’s barely covered.  She grabbed what she could because the team is counting on her.  Why would anyone have a problem with that?  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Candice Swanepoel is working for Victoria’s Secret again after a pretty long stretch off thanks to things like babies and so on.  I mean, we are getting some pictures but they are trickling out, it’s not the normal flood but I assume that’s because we’re not actually getting anything real yet, just behind the scenes.  A lot of people seem relieved which is hilarious because it reveals what I have seen a lot of since she got pregnant, this panic that she’d never model again. It was like, at most 6 or 7 months between shoots, it’s not really that long but just that little time away was more than enough to make people panic.  Which is probably why she thinks this all worked on me.  Her whole hard to get thing where she gets engaged and has a baby and the pictures slow a good bit. Classic hard to get.  Nice try, Candy, nice try.  It’s been painfully obvious to everyone who has followed me that she is obsessed with me of course but she took a hard turn into hard to get territory, I mean, it’s been about a year since Victoria’s Secret suddenly ended it’s print catalog and, well, let’s be honest, that’s pretty transparent ploy for my attention.  I get it, make me miss what I took for granted.  It hasn’t worked of course.  Mostly.  I mean sure sometimes I think about Candice Swanepoel but I stand resolute.  It’s flatter but… ok, look maybe today it’s working. But overall whatever.  Just today.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Ani-Mia and I don’t have any deep or fascinating reason for posting her other than I think she’s pretty.  And I like cosplay.  I mean sometimes.  I do like a costume that feels like it has some effort in it and I like a costume with some fidelity to the source.  She does those things well.  So here she is, it’s that simple.  Today I want to fuck Ani-Mia.

Barbara Palvin has shown up in a bunch of shoots lately and I have really liked them, especially the most recent of Elle Russia.  It felt a little off because something about it felt kind of 80’s but I have warmed up to it over the past couple of days.  It’s nice to see a surge of new work from her recently though I obviously won’t be posting the recent picture that has caused a little controversy.  I mean, obviously because I never post that kind of thing but I don’t know what rumors are true or not but in general if a woman doesn’t want a picture of her out there then I am not going to put it out there.  That seems simple but it isn’t for some people.  I see a lot of arguments about legality and reading fine print and stuff and I guess what I will say to that is legality does not dictate morality.  Because something is legal does not make it moral.  Because something is immoral does not mean it should be illegal.  If you are defining your decisions strictly on if it is legal or not you are morally lacking and I hope at some point you can turn that around.  Your life will be fuller if you pursue one of at least some virtue.  The lives of those around you will be fuller as well.  And you know, if you’re trying to use moral loopholes to justify how badly you want to look at nipples just know I think less of you.  That might not matter to you but in general I think you’ll find most adults feel that way.  Maybe that’s the real lesson here, not the basics of moral philosophy but just a basic lesson, you’ll find the things that impress other trolls on the internet impress no one in real life.  I don’t think you should need personal utility as a spur to good behavior but if you do there you go.  At some point that is going to matter in real life and you will likely never know it, but it is going to cost you as people just want nothing to do with a person like you.  Anyway, I think she has looked good a bunch.  Which makes sense, she’s a model, that is her job.  I am glad to get a bunch of work from her.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.