Tag: Model

I have not slept well like all week and am just crazy tired.  Almost so tired that I won’t go to 7-11 for a free Slurpee.  Almost.  Anyway, Slurpees don’t really have a lot to do with Mosh cause it is hard to imagine her drinking a Slurpee.  I actually saw some candid picture of her once drinking out of a paper cup at some fast food place or something and it was like world shattering because of course she’s a real person who does real things but she is so beautiful and glamorous that it is hard to imagine her doing every day things.  How did I think she quenched her thirst?  I dunno, maybe like little pixies carried leaves holding drops of fresh morning dew and poured it onto her tongue?  It’s hard for me to really conceptualize someone who looks so.. I am not sure what the word is, other worldly?  Resplendent?  Ethereal?  Something that means not quite of this world for sure, but someone who looks like she’s on another level like her actually having basic human needs and stuff.  Except obviously she does.  That is one of Mosh’s secrets though, isn’t it?  There is a confidence and dignity she manages to project that even naked I would imagine other people around her are the ones who feel under dressed.  It’s a talent.  Also, I should add in case you didn’t notice, she’s beautiful.  That is a big part of the draw also.  Anyway, I still can’t really imagine her going to get a free Slurpee today but maybe a unicorn will ride up and bring her one or something.  Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

The past couple of weeks have seen a bunch of pictures of Candice Swanepoel doing her new campaign for Free People which has been very nice to see because she has looked very good during it.  Also she’s wearing clothing which is also nice.  I am not saying I am opposed to seeing her in her underwear or in bikinis, I am just saying it is nice to get variety.  I also think pictures in clothing often have more personality.  Plus she’s obviously a very skilled model, I hate seeing anyone pigeon holed, really for any type of work.  Plus they are just pretty pictures.  That’s always a nice bonus.  So she has looked good and today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Kelly Brook in various pieces of swimwear because it’s summer.  It just felt right.  Also they are pictures that don’t look like they were taken from behind some bushes which is a bit of a problem when dealing with her sometimes.  I mean, given what I know about the British press I guess people could actually be literally hiding in bushes, once you’re hacking dead teenagers phones nothing seems that bad I guess.  But I see a lot of Kelly Brook but it’s a lot of her trying to have fun privately and that feels creepy.  So here are pictures where that mostly isn’t the case, though I guess she is on vacation in one, which makes me culpable as a consumer of the creepy peeping pictures.  But… well, I’m not perfect and she generally looks good in a bikini.  She has good taste in swimwear.  I am not really a bikini person for the most part, generally I think it’s kind of boring but I get the appeal sometimes.  Plus Kelly Brook is really pretty.  Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

So yesterday’s Kate Upton post proved to be the most popular post about Kate Upton in a long time.  I can only assume this is because of America and patriotic fervor.  As such I have decided this is 4th of July weekend. It’s not just a day anymore, we’re the 9th fattest country in the world, we need some space to spread out and relax.  It’s a 3 day weekend now.   Thus here is Emily Ratajkowski.  Because America guys. America.  Look guys, I was a history major at one point in my life so I know my shit, and when Benjamin Franklin invented electricity even he couldn’t have known how it would change the world.  But we all know, don’t we?  That’s right, we do, so I am going to go ahead and say that if you don’t like and reblog this there is a very real chance your precious iPhone will melt in your hand.  Or blow up.  Or travel back in time to kill your mother before you were born.  My point is there are some catastrophic consequences out there, it’s just how time travel works.  Trust me, I know, I was a history major.  Now, some might say I am just wrapping myself in the flag to use it as a shield to pursue my own self interests.  To that I say what is more American than that, commie?  Well, Girls in bikini tops for one.  I know because I get up in America and posters of girls in bikinis were everywhere.  And American flags.  Well Emily Ratajkowski has managed to combine both of those things into one picture.  Because America, guys.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Kate Utpon because… y’know… America guys!  Fuck King George am I right?  I just threw every bit of tea I have into the bathtub.  That shit is ruined now!  What I am saying is that unless you’re some sort of Nazi or like a Barbary Pirate you should like and reblog this post.  For America.  Cause I mean, look, Kate has a flag.  An American Flag.  Now, I know a lot of you aren’t Americans but… the Nazi thing.  I mean, if we hadn’t been there that would have gone very differently.  Now I’m not saying if you don’t reblog this that someone will go back in time and Hitler wins, what I am saying is why on Earth would you even take that risk?  Why would you toy with the future of the planet like that?  Also, look at her, right?  Because I love America today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is some Kate Upton cause everyone’s life could use a little Upton in it.  Now, you might disagree with that but you’re wrong.  It’s the summer, she looks good in a bikini, enjoy your summer and enjoy the pretty blonde girl.  I don’t have a lot more to say than that cause i have had a tiring weekend so just relax in the soft embrace of Kate Upton’s beauty.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

The other day I was trying to help my mom with a problem she was having over with her computer over the phone because moms are notoriously bad with computers.  And she was like, “The screen just flashed, did you do that?"  And obviously I didn’t because I am not a technomancer so I can’t make her screen flash through the power of my voice during a phone conversation.  But she thought I could and then suggested I just, "Get in there and fix it” because people think computers are magic but more to the real cause as human being for some reason we assume anything we can’t do must be simple.  Which is crazy stupid because if we can’t do it shouldn’t it be considered hard?  But like acting, I think everyone thinks they were born to act until they try it and realize that shit is hard.  I think it is even more pronounced with modelling because people think you just stand there and someone points a camera at you and bam, easy, right?  This is of course another stupid assumption because most of us look like awkward gargoyles in pictures.  Seriously, like 99% of the population is unphotographable.  I have some very attractive friends who look like garbage anytime a picture is taken.  It’s amazing.  Modeling takes skill most of us don’t have and i was checking and according to my computer the oldest picture of Mosh I have I saved in 2008.  So it’s been a really long time.  And it is amazing how much she’s grown as a model over the years, not just her look but the skill, how much better the photos she is in look, the way her body positions itself, the look on her face.  I can’t put it any better than that because as discussed I suck at talking about models.  It is amazing though, I am sure if you have looked you’ve seen some pictures of baby mosh out there on tumblr and just realize how different everything is and how much her work has grown.  Or you know, think about other models, it isn’t just her.  And also because I don’t really have a point here besides Mosh looks better on film than I do (which isn’t exactly a revelation) I also posted all black and white stuff because somehow I have never done that and the woman was born to appear in black and white.  Just look at her.  Anyway, she is brilliant and talented and today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

I don’t make plans in advance as to who I would post.  I say this is to protect the purity of my vision for this blog (and I guess it is in part) but really it’s because I am way too lazy and commitment phobic to make plans for the future.  That said, there are days where it feels inevitable that I am going to post a certain person.  Usually I even wait longer in the day until I post just in case something shakes it away.  I am almost offended the universe would dictate my life to that degree.  You know, I rage against the sings and arrows of outrageous fortune, I am no puppet of God nor the whims of circumstance.  Except of course I am because I always end up posting that person.  Like yesterday I posted really early in the morning and then Emily Ratajkowski started showing up naked for GQ and I knew I would post her today.  And I was right because it seems like every third thing on my blog is a picture of gif from the shoot.  I couldn’t escape her.  Oh wait, I should correct she wasn’t naked she was nearly naked which must be an important point because I have seen people actually complain about it.  I don’t really get the difference a few flecks of dirt makes (the internet definition of naked seems to largely be nipple vs non nipple, butts do not count) but I have a very fertile and creative mind so I guess I am special.  Anyway, to frustrate and confound those who hate only near nudity and because she is so gorgeous here are a bunch of near naked pictures of Emily Ratajkowsi  Because today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

I am pretty sure I just posted Emily Didonato not too long ago.  I can’t be bothered to check.  Hell, I can’t be bothered to capitalize the second D in her name because I have seen it both ways and have no idea which is actually right.  And I am like crazy tired.  You know you’re old when you wake up tired and you’re actually sore from being tired as you get out of bed.  You don’t care about any of that though because why would you, you care about Emily Didonato and that makes sense because she is really pretty.  You can tell by looking at her in the pictures above.  See?  I was right, she’s pretty.  I don’t have a lot else to say though because I just posted her recently.  I just happen to enjoy her and I guess she is lucky enough to model for some lines that dress her very well and so today I want to fuck Emily Didonato.

There was this Will Ferrel sketch on SNL a really long time ago where he was running a series of political attack ads about his opponent and over time it became clear that the election had taken place months and months ago.  He had won but he was still campaigning, still just decimating the competition.  That sketch came to mind when I saw Candice Swanepoel in black leather at an event for Maxim that was basically all about her being named the hottest woman alive by Maxim.  She looked just staggeringly hot and my thought was, “You know, you can stop campaigning, you’ve already won”.  This was a colossally stupid reaction by me for lots of reasons.  First of all I am willing to believe she has no choice, she just looks amazing, it’s what she does.  Secondly, I don’t think it’s a habit I want to discourage.  In what world do I really want someone to pull her aside and go, “Could you tone it down with the hotness?  We could use less hotness”.  So I admit, that was dumb of me.  I am willing to admit it, keep looking amazing, I am down with it.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.