Tag: musician

I believe just last week I was speaking about my weakness for shiny objects.  Like, the least humane way to hunt racoon is make a small hole in a log, put something shiny inside and wait.  The Racoon will reach in and grab the shiny object but then his fist will be too big to pull out of the hole. The Racoon will actually stay there until he dies (or the unsporting hunter clubs him).  This is because when it comes to shiny things, racoons are predictable idiots.  What I am saying is my libido is a stupid animal that cannot turn away from shiny things.  So when I saw pictures of Taylor Swift performing in Tokyo in a skin tight shiny silver.. thing (I can’t think of the right word, I am distracted by Taylor Swift in a shiny silver thing) I knew she was going to be the pick today.  And it has been hours because I got busy today and just now was able to post.  And here she is because ooooooo, shiny!  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

Yesterday an ex’s phone was somehow compromised, I don’t know how, I didn’t call her, but suddenly her Instagram was flooded with naked pictures and videos and whatever I suppose was on  her camera that would be considered private. It made me angry as it should make everyone.  This is, of course, the sort of thing that only really happens to women.  Be it revenge from someone who felt wronged or a stranger who found her phone this is still very much an action we would take against women.  Call them whores or at least imply it.  Stand in judgement even as we giggle with glee and titillation.  That is why Taylor Swift is here, not because she has nudes out there, she doesn’t as far as I know so you can stop googling and keep reading.  No, she is here because she has had this sort of public rehabilitation of image which is great but at the same time a lot of what lead up to it was the public bullying a young woman in a way only a woman would be bullied.  After all, Derek Jeter is celebrated for how often he’s a love em and leave em kinda guy.  He gives gift baskets afterwards. Now, I did think at the time and still do some of the emotion just felt false to me because I was 20 once and every break up sucks but not every break up can really be the worst thing that ever happened to you.  But I was also 20 once and I remeber everything seemed to matter a whole lot more.  And I probably would have been way worse at making everything an over dramatic slight if I was writing songs.  Young people are in love with romantic woundings and making ourselves seem like emotional cripples because of what that guy/girl/whomever did to us.  So it would be foolish to look back and not think the hostility we threw her way was related to her being a talented and successful woman.  I guess that is what I am thinking about today.  And why Taylor Swift is on my mind because , and I have pointed this out before, we did wrong her and I do feel bad about that.  I doubt she really needs me to make anything up to her but it’s the kind of thing that is important to acknowledge.  It’s how you prevent repeating your mistakes, you admit them.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I don’t think I have talked about it here but I may have, I hurt my foot last week.  I didn’t bring it up because you know, I am super tough, I am not just going to broadcast to everyone that my foot is hurt looking for sympathy.  No, I only whine one on one with half the people I know.  You know, like a Charles Bronson character or something I mainly keep quiet and just softly whimper with every step and stick out my bottom lip.  Anyway, this became a problem today as I have been working from home except for a quick jaunt out this morning.  The problem is the Mountain Goats new album came out and my copy is sitting in the post office, which is almost 3 blocks away!  Hercules had his his 12 labors, I have mine.  So I had to decide to I wait until maybe tomorrow when I have to go out again or do I brave the slight drizzle and pain and go get my records.  Well, the album is about wrestling so I knew what I had to do, I had to adopt a classic Hulk Hogan no sell and tell my foot that shit doesn’t hurt and you can’t take me down, Brother!  Well, I did that and I got my record and I am here to say no selling is bullshit cause it hurt like a bitch.  I have no idea how that great American Hero shrugged of chairs and shit but I know he did cause I used to watch as a kid with my dad.  Anyway, this long, long post isn’t about wrestling, it’s about music.  I love music.  This is where I get to be pretentious and holier than thou but I have always felt like everyone likes music but not a lot of people love music.  For a lot of people it’s a fashion choice and more a part of your self identity than everyone else. I say this cause I spent my teens going to punk shows but I don’t think I have ever met a real punk.  As a matter of fact a whole lot of those guys were way, way into Limp Bizkit a few years later.  And that’s fine, you can do as you like, I just want to point out his makes me better than you.  Also better than you is my dear friend lunoboom who introduced me to Wolf Alice, because she is awesome and the band is awesome and here is something awesome for you to put in your ear holes. Anyway, that brings us to front person Ellie Rowsell who is also attractive and I am attracted to her because it is science fact that people who make music, especially those who make good music, are infinitely more attractive.  Science fact.  But also I just kind of want to share a cool band with you guys and very subtly mention my foot hurts so I could get sympathy that I can then deflect by saying, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it.  Cause I’m super tough and my taste in music is better than yours.  Today I want to fuck Ellie Rowsell.

I had no idea who I was going to post or what I was going to write today.  Usually for Valentines I try to put up something that indicates the day, I try to be a little hopeful because I know for a day about love it is really a day about heartbreak for a lot of people.  And you know, if that’s you, you should hang in there.  It’s just a day, don’t let it get to you.  This year I hadn’t really thought about it though because yesterday was Friday the 13th and I am strange enough as a person that that was a much bigger deal to me than what today is.  Anyway, the universe provided an answer in the form of Taylor Swift turning out to be an amazing person.  Signs kind of pointed that way anyway.  I saw this article about her helping out a fan on tumblr who was going through a break up.  The article points out it is good advice and it is but I would say it is crucial advise, the part where she tells the girl to block the guys number because the guy sounds like a verbally abusive dick to me and I happen to assume he was probably always a dick.  Either way it says just amazing things about Taylor that she did this.  It’s interesting, the way she has evolved in the minds of people, in my mind.  And I don’t know her, obviously, but I feel like there has to be a lot of growth as a person there on her part.  I mean, we all grow hopefully and part of it is that a 25 year old is light years more mature than a 19 year old.  But also she is someone who has taken just a shit storm of crap over the years.  I mean, being beautiful and talented is a pretty good panacea for dicks all over the internet criticizing you but it still can’t feel good to have just legions of people talking shit about you constantly.  And I know people, like personally who have had rough stretches and it kind of goes two ways.  They become bitter dicks who can’t wait to inflict their pain on the world or it gives them boundless empathy and because they know what it’s like to hurt they want to help others.  It seems like Taylor Swift has that empathy part because I follow her on tumblr and follow news about her on tumblr and since she’s joined it’s become pretty apparently how genuinely compassionate she is.  She really seems to go out of her way simply to make other people’s lives better.  And that’s awesome.  And maybe that is what this Valentine’s day should be about.  Love isn’t only romantic you know, there is a good chance your fellow man could use some love, why don’t you see what you can do.  I guess just start asking yourself what would Taylor Swift do in this situation.  Then realize you probalby can’t write a really catchy song so settle for something a little less ambitious.  But do it.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

Sometimes what I do here is very, very hard.  I don’t think you know how difficult it is on a night where the Brits are giving out film awards and America is having the Grammys to choose just one girl the next morning.  It would have been hard enough to choose a winner of the Grammys.  Or the BAFTA thing.  But both?  Near impossible.  I am settling on Taylor Swift though because her dress was probably the best dress.  It was pretty great.  She looked great.  Also… she is just pretty.  I don’t have anything that complex to write because man I am burned out just from deciding.  There were quite seriously 10 people I could have posted.  Taylor won though.  She does the red carpet extremely well.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift

Happy New Years everyone.  I hope you all had a good night.  On account of being old I basically did nothing because it just holds no appeal to me.  Honestly, it never held a lot of appeal, it’s a party holiday and my platonic ideal for the perfect night would involve a handful of people and good conversation, I find crowded bars and crowded houses are the antithesis of that.  So I skipped out this year and watched a little TV and then fell asleep at about 11:40.  Because I am old.  But I hope all of you had fun!  I figured Taylor Swift being shower in confetti was an appropriately festive picture for today.  Well, that and just her on stage for stuff.  There are only so many confetti pictures out there, I am not a machine.  Here is to a good 2015 though, may it be as good of a year as Taylor Swift had for herself in 2014, cause that turn around into America’s sweetheart was pretty monumental.  Like really, if we could all have half the year she had last year we’d be sitting pretty.  So good luck with that!  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

So I had a dream last night that Taylor Swift won all the awards and people were pretty angry about it.  I mean she won all the awards.  Like best new rap artist and Best Visual Effects and so on.  People were pretty upset but in my dream for whatever reason my attitude was, “Who cares, awards are bullshit”.  Which is true.  Awards are bullshit, stop caring.  All these major awards are industries giving themselves awards.  I knew this kid in Elementary school who used to cut up blue construction paper in art class and make herself blue ribbons declaring her the best at this and that.  Even then I knew it was bullshit, there wasn’t very intense vetting going on in that awards process.  Like the only qualifier to be the best there was being the first person to get scissors and construction paper.  So, you know, awards don’t really matter.  And sometimes people need to feel special.  Actually, scratch that, everyone needs to feel special.  No one wants to go through life never feeling special.  Some people maybe need it too badly but in general people have that need.  So try not to be to hard on anyone.  That said, yeah, you can get mad if Taylor Swift ends up winning awards for things she is in no way associated with.  Because that would be silly.  This doesn’t really have a point I guess, I just rambled on about my dreams.  Which is a pretty lame entry but ask yourself, who is really the lame one because apparently you read all the way to this point.  Sucker.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I am not really the type to do birthday posts cause I don’t really care about celebrity birthdays.  I hold them in no ill will but I can’t imagine taking the time to remember them.  My google calendar is packed enough with friends and relatives’ birthday, I don’t really need to start adding Kristen Bell.  These people will get by without me.  I am aware today is Taylor Swift’s birthday though because someone very close to me is a Taylor Swift super fan and I have been made aware more than once that today was going to be her birthday.  So I guess it was bouncing around in my head.  I guess I know her birthday (but don’t hold me to it next year).  So I am thinking about Taylor Swift, who continues to look and be fantastic in recent months.  I am kind of out of things to say about her because I have posted her so much lately.  So I’ll just go ahead and say today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

There are actually lots of things I could write about St Vincent to start this post off.  Especially because over the past 2.5 years I have been doing this blog there have been a handful of times I almost posted her.  Almost.  Sometimes that happens.  Some people are harder to find pictures of I like.  In my search for something post worthy I get frustrated and even a little annoyed with them, how dare they not make my life easier by like… emailing me pictures?  Anyway, there have been multiple times I have thought about it so there are things I could say but… none of it really would be the reason she’s posted today.  Today she is posted because my dear friend whole-lies-and-half-smiles became obsessed with her like… a month and a half ago?  I dunno, at some point in time.  She does that, I get it, the same thing happens to me.  Probably to all of us who are inclined to suddenly decide celebrity X is the hottest person on the planet.  Anyway, as a result about 90% of her posts seem to be pictures of Annie Clark.  If I was smart I would save them as they pop up but I don’t.  Anyway, that’s the real reason St. Vincent is here today (and I still haven’t decided what name to use at this point, it’s so stupid but like, St. Vincent feels strange but it is definitely how she’s better known, right?  Only a few sentences left, I better decide!)  Clearly I have been worn down by the assault of images.  To the point that I had a dream about her last night.  And it’s like, ok, I give in, your music is great, you’re pretty, you have agents on tumblr doing nothing but putting pictures of you on my dash.  You win.  Today I want to fuck St. Vincent.

Something I meditate on often here, well, meditate perhaps assigns too much importance and thought, we’ll say ramble until I get bored and then abruptly stop, but one of those things is the drastic image change of Taylor Swift.  Drastic yet organic feeling.  And I wonder how and why.  Not because I distrust it or I dislike her, I happen to like her a good bit, I happen to have seen in myself a change in opinion about her, but it is interesting.  Thoughts pop up like authenticity or a certain honesty but I can’t know if those are real.  Celebrities are in many ways the known unknown.  Or… like a Picasso painting in real life.  We see them from thousands of angles, from more angles than is natural but it’s only the parts the artist wants us to see.  What we see is not a person, it’s an image constructed of multiple pieces the artist has given us.  An image that resembles the form of something real but is not.  I mean, I don’t really know Taylor Swift.  We don’t really know the people closest to us, most of us struggle with knowing ourselves, we sure as fuck don’t know Taylor Swift.  I think part of the appeal of Taylor Swift though is she seems sincere, we feel like we know her.  This is of course because of the power of the written word.  Even when sung to us.  She is a writer and writers can create universes vast and infinite with just a few words.  What we feel like she has shared with us is a peek into her soul.  Even if not autobiographical we have to feel like it emotionally authentic.  Of course, writers can be full of shit, they are creators and we make the mistake thinking they speak of themselves when they are not.  I don’t really have a point here.  I had other points that led nowhere (like how we are surprised when a woman writes her own songs, like a penis is an important part of song writing) but there is no reason to go there since they lead nowhere.  This all lead nowhere.  Taylor Swift is an enigma to me.  I am fully charmed by what she reveals of herself even as I know it might be false.  Or partial.  Or… nothing.  I guess what I am saying is this is what I think about when a woman wears lingerie on a stage and starts to think, I start to wonder how much of life we can see and understand and question the nature of existence and identity.  Because I’m a huge perv, it’s just who I am.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.