How about some Scarlett Johansson for you guys today? She’s shown up a couple times this week at things and we should all be thankful for that. It was a Gala at the Natural History Museum in New York, though if I am going to be biased here, and I am, it’s no Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. It’s cool, I get it. The Smithsonian doesn’t have a Gala and it’s not in New York. You take what you can get when it comes to museum galas. Anyway, she has looked lovely this week. And since history was mentioned she was the first person I ever posted and would likely be the most posted person ever on this blog if I had started it 10 years earlier. That’s not saying she isn’t as appealing now, just that she has had staying power and I have always been into her. But also like a lot of famous people, showed up in pictures more earlier in her career. Cause that’s just how that works for whatever reason. And by whatever reason I mean I am older now too and my big Friday night plans are to stay in and play video games online with my brother. So I get it. People don’t take pictures of me doing that either. I don’t think. I hope not. Scarlett looked very good and I am glad to see her. Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

How about some Scarlett Johansson guys? I mean, the Infinity War premier was last night so I have to post someone from it because I am just not that big of an iconoclast to not. Or more it was really the only thing going on. I wasn’t entirely sold on Scarlett’s dress but I thought she looked good. I liked her make up, I liked her choker, I didn’t mind her hair. Boy this all sounds like faint praise. It isn’t. I happen to like Scarlett Johansson a lot and she only gets to show up now and then when some new Marvel thing is coming out basically. She looked the best to me of the red carpet stuff last night. Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Hey guys, happy Saturday. Here is Scarlett Johansson for no particular reason besides the fact that she is really hot. I know that’s a shock to a lot of people but that’s why you come here, for the insightful commentary. Now that I brought it up you’re going to see it everyone, everyone finally realizing that Scarlett Johansson is hot. You’re welcome world. Also the sky is blue. Also, pedants and people who think they are smart will tell you that the sky is all colors and blue is just the easiest to see on the visible spectrum with light scattering everywhere so it just appears blue. Also, some people will then reblog that annoying tubmlr post. All of these people sound like assholes you don’t need in your life. Ignore them, you have me, I’ll set you straight. The sky is blue, Scarlett Johansson is hot, and extended warranties are a scam. You’re welcome. So, as I was saying, she’s here because she’s hot. I literally have not seen her in anything recently, she just popped into my head and it turns out that’s more than enough reason to post her. Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Well guys, here is Scarlett Johansson because she is everywhere due to Ghost in the Shell promotional stuff.  Now, whatever you think of her casting in this movie (and if you’re critical you’re probably right) she is just here because she is pretty.  I probably won’t see the movie, at least any time soon.  Not out of protest, I mean, that would be noble but the truth is I just don’t care about the movie at all.  I remember when the anime went out and everyone went apeshit (by everyone I mean like two kids I knew who were the only ones in my school who watched anime, which we all called Japanimation back then, because if my generation got anything right it was a deep understanding that anime is for nerds) but I didn’t care because there is something about the visual language of anime that doesn’t appeal to me.  At all.  So I never watched it and a live action adaptation doesn’t appeal either.  Non of that is important though.  Here is what is important, today is my dear friend @thunderstormofoblivion’s birthday.  It’s important because she’s great so feel free to wish her happy birthday.  Now, I will give you my normal warning to be polite/not creepy/not an asshole when messaging some girl you don’t know on the internet but this time it’s for your sake, cause she’ll fuck you up, boys.  She’s stomp all over you and it won’t be a gentle tap dance on your spine, it’ll be like a fucking marching band.  You’ll be ruined.  So for your sake be polite, she’s dangerous and not to be fucked with.  Look, I don’t want to have to hear about her licking some young boys blood from her claws yet again.  Anyway, she is well acquainted with beauty, so she should appreciate Scarlett Johansson as well.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

So there was an amFar Gala last night and that’s always good.  It’s a good cause.  It tends to get nice looking people nicely dressed and gathered into a single place.  So, good news all around.  And there were indeed some options to choose from last night.  Victoria Justice’s dress was fantastic.  I loved it.  She was almost here. But you know… it turns out Scarlett Johansson is beautiful. And, you know, I like a good tux.  But mostly it’s the fact that she’s beautiful. Given I have posted her almost 50 times you think I would have figured it out before now.  Oh well, I am here to break the news.  Scarlett Johansson is beautiful.  And you know, she’s single now again and I have had a thing for her since like 2001.  So, you know… look, I know it’s a slim shot but what I am saying is given her situation and my situation, if I play my cards right I can probably end up with a restraining order put on me.  It’s a dream at least. Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

I ended up watching Lucy last night, which is a thing I intended to do a long time ago but never got around to and never could quite work up the motivation to put any effort into seeing it.  I didn’t even intend to watch it, I was flipping through selections and actually clicked on something else when I caught Scarlett Johansson’s face out of the corner of my eye, forcing me to go back and figure out what it was.  At that point I knew I was going to watch it if I had never seen it because… well, Scarlett Johansson.  I have to admit she’s a draw, we’re closing in on 15 years I’ve been watching movies because of her.  Anyway, I had meant to see it because people liked it but I was reluctant because I had a hard time getting around the whole 10 percent of your brain stupidity.  I have a really tough time suspending disbelief when they are things that are very clearly myths but purport to be science fact.  So like… the force or radioactive Spiders?  Totally down because the premise is pure fantasy.  But a thing that is based on horseshit that some people believe?  That’s hard.  Anyway, it was pretty solid but really nothing special and the entire time I had some serious issues with the bullshit myth stuff.  Not just the 10% of the brain but like… at one point they talk about how as humans develop they will use more of their brain which will lead to things like being able to control other humans.  But how does that work if we all evolve to use more?  And like… what is the evolutionary advantage of subjugating your own species?  Look, this throw away summer blockbuster really fell down in the science department and I know science, I own a copy of the Omni Future Almanac.  Still, very watchable and Scarlett Johansson straight up murdering dudes is something I am always down with.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Forgive me guys, I am pretty sleepy.  I did finally see Civil War though and that means I am posting Scarlett Johansson because it doesn’t take much of an excuse for me to decide to post her.  I liked the movie.  I still think Winter Soldier was better so I am on the other side of that divide from people who think it was the best Marvel movie yet.  I liked Scarlett in it, she still gets the best fight moves.  She looked good.  It was fun.  I am out of things to say.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

So I finally got around to watching Hail Caesar!  It was ok.  I think people were harder on it than it deserved but it also was definitely not as good as it’s pedigree.  The Coens can do better.  The cast was great yet somehow it didn’t add up.  Which is a shame.  I still enjoyed it though, there were great moments in it because of course it was made by great film makers.  And hey, it’s an excuse to post Scarlett Johansson. She wasn’t in it much but she was lovely in it.  And again, I am happy to see her at any point. 1940’s Scarlett Johansson is among my favorite looks for her.  I mean, I sat through all of The Black Dahlia for Scarlett Johansson as a 1940’s Femme Fatale, so you’re not going to hear me complain cause this movie was just ok.  Besides, I liked the musical numbers.  Mermaid Scarlett Johansson is a good look.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett Johansson has come up a lot recently in the periphery of my life.  Now there are two ways to look at this, either it’s because she is one of the biggest movie stars in the world and thus pop culture will dictate that if you are connected to the world around you that Scarlett Johansson will probably get mentioned, or show up in something, or get reblogged on tumblr or whatever.  Especially when she is in a movie that is set to be released this week.  Or you can take it as a sign.  I will leave it up to you to decide, I am not tell you what to think, so if you want to believe in signs I won’t stop you.  I’ll quietly mock you but I won’t stop you.  Anyway, Hail Caesar is headed out this week and it is seems to be one of those made for me movies.  The Cohen are among my favorite if not favorite directors working, it’s about old Hollywood, Scarlett Johansson will wear clothing from the 1950’s.  These are all things I love.  So today someone was just talking about her in a conversation I was not part of (what I heard was, “What was that black and white movie with Scarlett Johansson and Billy Bob Thornburg”.  I didn’t correct anyone) it was enough to get my brain obsessing about her.  And how beautiful she is.  It’s been 15 years now that I have been crushing on Scarlett Johansson, which is a really long time.  But she is so pretty.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.