Category: Uncategorized

So some of you may recognize Milana Vayntrub as “that girl from the AT&T commercials”.  I didn’t because I didn’t know that was a thing.  Once I looked them up I realized that yeah, she’s all over my TV.  But I didn’t know that in advance.  For me she showed up on Doug Loves Movies and I found her to be ridiculously hilarious and charming.  It’s always impressive when someone who is not a comic can hold their own on something like that, even more impressive when they stand out.  And they mentioned yeah she’s the AT&T girl and apparently people are obsessed with her.  Not a lot of people I’d imagine but some, that happens with commercials.  I get questions sometimes from people asking me if I know who girl X is from some commercial (usually the girl from the Wendy’s commercial.  I would say this is odd but I know the answer so maybe not that odd. It’s Morgan Smith Goodwin).  Anyway, Milana Vayntrub has a name that is really just not easy to pronounce or to remember how to spell but she has been in a lot of things, mainly a lot of internet humor stuff where she is, frankly, hilarious (some of which I had seen before, it had been passed along on account of the funniness).  Which is why she is here today because she is pretty and I find her entertaining.  So today I want to fuck Milana Vayntrub.

I have a friend who one of her favorite things is shoes.  Not like in a sexual way.  Not judging for those of you who they are a sexual thing I just mean red carpet photos or something come out and her first thing is, “Oooo, look at her shoes”.  She loves Mosh and shoes are a big part of that but so is just the look Mosh has generally curated.  Of coruse, about a month ago Mosh posted some pictures of her shoe closet.  The results weer a hilarious sputtering on the part of my friend and she cycled from, “A shoe closet, I didn’t even know those existed,” to, “Oh wow,’ and finally to, "Look at all those shoes!"  What does this story have to do with anything?  Well, nothing really it was just fun.  And I guess it’s proof that there is something to appreciate about Mosh for everyone, even straight girls.  Now, you might not be someone who likes Mosh and my claiming there is something for everyone to like could feel like I am criticizing you or attacking you.  You are absolutely right.  There is something wrong with you, some broken thing deep down preventing you from feeling true joy.  Get your shit together.  Look at her, she is gorgeous!  Her make up is perfect.  Her hair is amazing.  Her sense of style is phenomenal.  Don’t be that guy who hates great stuff just to hate it.  Or do, whatever, it’s your life.  It’s why no one likes you though.  Back on topic, I like Mosh, she is gorgeous and today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

Here’s Christina Hendricks because… I dunno.  I don’t honestly have a good reason for it. Ok, well, the fact that she is Christina Hendricks seems like a perfectly good reason but I mean usually I have seen something or have some story or whatever.  I don’t.  I still have my cold and it means I am sleepy and unexciting.  Colds are hardly like the end of the world but they do often stifle my libido a bit.  I like her though, she’s pretty and I do happen to really like her on screen as well.  Lord I want Mad Men back already.  Today I want to fuck Christina Hendricks.

Thanksgiving is over and I picked up a cold.  It was worth it though because I had fun and it was my niece who gave me the cold.  Seeing her was worth like 20 colds.  The downside is though that this is my 1000th pick ever.  I was going to hold parades and parties and be excited but I am not feeling that up for it so we’re going to have a more low key affair today.  I have picked Scarlett Johansson cause I just got done napping and woke up thinking about her.  This works very well because she was my first ever pick.  There is some symmetry to that which is nice.  Anyway, I can totally get you guys some stats here because I assume everyone reading this loves stats.  I assume this because I love stats because I am a huge nerd and you know… let’s be honest, you’re probably a huge nerd.  I bet at least femalecelebrityoftheday will appreciate it.  That’s a guy who I am sure loves stats.  Here is a list of my top 32 picks.  You might say 32 is a strange number!  You’d be right.  Normally I would have a bullshit explination but I am tired and will admit it’s because there is a 4 way tie for 29th overall and that’s where my buddy pigeonfoo is so I might as well go that far so she gets a mention and someone decides to like… I dunno, throw money at her or whatever?  I don’t actually know how modelling works.  I think space ships are involved?

WIWTFT Stats

Also for stats 148 different girls have been American, 36 English, 19 Canadian, 9 Australian, 4 Scottish, 3 Indian, and then a lot of countries 2 or 1 times.  I have picked 124 brunettes 517 times, 87 blondes 413 times, 34 redheads 108 times, and then a bunch of girls who don’t fit those.  Scarlett Johansson was my first pick though.  She is beautiful and talented and frankly sexier than most people on the list.  She’s always done sexy well.  And her body of work has gotten so strong since I started this blog, she is really in the most interesting part of her career.  So there you have it, 1000 picks and this one is the same as the first because it is still true that today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Even those of you in godless, turkey free nations who have no thanksgiving.  And yes, even you Canadians who celebrate Thanksgiving at a ridiculously early time (I know, I know, in Canada the winter starts in like June, you have to move Thanksgiving up).  I am thankful for all of you.  The internet can be a pretty sweet place sometimes and you guys are a big part of that.  I guess in being thankful for the internet and friends I have made on it it made me think of Anna Kendrick.  Not because she’s my friend or anything but because she’s pretty great at the internet, too.  Also she is just great.  Really I don’t need a reason to pick her besides the fact that she exists.  I mean, she’s so dreamy, right?  Right.  Happy Thanksgiving, I hope you guys enjoy yourselves.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

I posted Stoya once a million years ago (well not a million, I was a liberal arts major, I took math for liberal arts majors, so you’ll have to deal).  She hasn’t shown up again because I don’t really watch a lot of porn.  This isn’t really a judgement about porn it’s just a lack of interest.  I mean, obviously I am a huge perv but I have never been a porn person because also deep down I am a control freak.  Maybe if the actors on screen did what the fuck I wanted I would be interested but they don’t and they go down these boring, cliches paths that just don’t interest me.  What I am saying is my issues with porn stem from the fact that it doesn’t bend to my will like my imagination does.  So I don’t watch much porn.  I do adore Stoya though and mainly for non porn reasons.  I have always found her to be a thoughtful and interesting writer and I was very sad when she just suddenly stopped posting to tumblr.  Apparently not sad enough to get off my ass and look for other places to find her but I was sad.  Anyway, she does have another blog now it looks like and again I enjoy her thoughts.  Even if my feelings or beliefs are not in line with everything i always appreciate someone who can articulate themselves and give a different perspective.  Of course, I do often find myself agreeing with her.  On top of that she is beautiful.  So that’s a nice thing, too.  Which is why she is here today because she’s beautiful and intelligent and I like her.  Today I want to fuck Stoya.

Today is one of those days where it is hard to think of something to write because when more important things are happening it all feels trivial.  But of all the terrible things on my TV in the past 12 hours or so what is not terrible are the commercials with Kate Upton.  Actually, those commercials were on my phone, too, when I tried to play a game.  I mean, I don’t really care to play whatever this game is but I appreciate delivery of Kate Upton directly into my hands.  Now that I have written that out I realize my brain might be doing some wishful thinking there but my point remains, I don’t mind seeing Kate Upton in a flowing white dress and gold armor.  It turns out that’s a really good look for her.  Who knew?  I guess whoever planned the commercial.  That’s some next level stuff because I have never once looked at a girl and been like, “I bet she’d look really good walking around a battlefield dressed as some sort of amazon”.  I am just painfully uncreative (also, Kate Upton is an Amazon, I know there are platforms and stuff but I have seen her walking around at these press conferences and women near her don’t even come up to her shoulders).  Anyway, I like Kate a lot, it’s nice to have something nice to think about.  This is, by the way, the 50th time I have posted her.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So Charli XCX won the AMAs last night.  I don’t know if she won any awards but she won in my heart and that’s all that really matters.  My heart. It’s what this blog is about basically.   Anyway, I am ridiculously attracted to her, something I have shared a few times recently so here are pictures of her at the AMAs as well as a couple of other performances snuck in for fun.  So enjoy that.  Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

Jessica Chastain continues to rule my fall by looking amazing basically constantly.  I haven’t counted but by my estimate she in approximately 348 new movies this fall which means she is showing up on the red carpet about every other day. This is a good thing given she is both beautiful and has excellent taste.  In her red carpet attire I mean.  Though I guess she has good taste in movies as well.  Maybe good taste in general, I can’t swear I know all the intimate details there though.  Anyway, I am excited to see so much of her so often because I adore her and today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

So today is my buddy ganstersexy ’s birthday and I don’t know how she actually feels about Emily Ratajkowski (though I did slip in what I consider a birthday themed photo, see if you can figure out which one.  It’s like Where’s Waldo.  You know except for idiots).  I assume she at least kind of likes Emily Ratajkowski though because she enjoys attractive women and Emily Ratajkowski is an extremely attractive woman.  So the math seems pretty simple.  Emily Ratajkowski being in Gone Girl has been huge for me because she seems to be popping up at events all the time as a result, as a matter of fact she was at some Golden Globes thing and I have no idea who else was there but she won because… look at her.  Also enjoy the visual pun of her standing next to a sign that says golden globes while wearing a low cut dress.  Enjoying picture of Emily Ratajkowski works on so many levels!  Anyway, happy birthday to ganstersexy and happy Saturday to me cause look at Emily Ratajkowski!  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.