I should start this by saying this post makes me feel like a poser cause I know who Jessica Nigri is because I am… well if you have followed me I am the sort of person I am on the internet.  So it would be impossible for me to have not heard of her.  That said, I know little about her.  Like, I know about Lolipop Chainsaw.  I know that some people love her and some people seem to hate her.  Which just means she’s an attractive woman on the internet and for some reason that is a highly divisive thing to be.  Other than that… uh, nothing, I have nothing.  So what I am saying is that yes, I am no expert on this but before you tell everyone what I am saying is save your breath, I never was one (I can’t swear but I don’t think this is the first time I have referenced that in a joke about being a poser).  Anyway, she is here because Halloween is approaching and if you can’t see the connection I will explain it.  See, I was thinking about costumes.  And that lead me to eventually think of Jessica Nigri.  I had a long discussion about her with a friend who is not the sort of person I am even though she is on the internet.  She loves dress up though so that lead down this rabbit hole of costumes and what not and you know, Jessica Nigri is pretty and I like her choice of costumes.  Even when I am being a poser and going, “Oh yeah, that’s some League of Legends character or something”. But she’s hot and Halloween means costumes and guys, Halloween!  She has dressed as Freddy Kruger!  Which was kind of unsettling to me, he shouldn’t be sexied up.  Still, she did.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.

I saw Knock Knock last night and it was… the best Eli Roth movie I have seen?  Which feels like damning the movie with faint praise if you have ever talked to me about Eli Roth.  I didn’t hate it but it is loaded with problems, problems I will gladly discuss with you if you want to send me a message about it because lord knows I love that shit.  I won’t take up all that space here though.  I am posting Ana de Armas who was in it and my brain decided immediately was the “hot one”.  If you know anything about the movie you know the one of what I am talking about.  Sure I felt creepy about thinking that as the movie went on but I went in knowing I had declared a psycho the hot one so there were bound to be some regrets there.  The actress is pretty though.  She is Cuban and it turns out I saw her in another horror movie a few years ago.  I don’t really remember that though.  I just know she’s quite pretty and apparently is ok at pretending to be crazy.  That’s a recipe for sexual attraction right?  Of course it is!  Today I want to fuck Ana de Armas.

I feel overdue for a Mary Elizabeth Winstead post. I say this knowing I posted her just recently.  I dunno, a few weeks ago or something.  Whenever it was it was pretty recent for her.  The thing is though any time she shows up somewhere and we get pictures I feel like I am wasting an opportunity to post her when I don’t.  Because I adore her.  And I have gone into it more in the past but i am so tired today so I won’t go into it more.  I have slept like garbage all week.  My fan broke and it turns out my neighborhood is noisy as fuck without the white noise of a fan to drown it out.  Like, I think someone was actually playing a game of pound on the dumpster at 6 AM this morning.  Or maybe it was the wind or something but holy fuck I don’t know how anyone sleeps in this city.   I am digressing though, my point is I am the level of tired where I can bitch about not sleeping for hours but lack the energy to describe why Mary Elizabeth Winstead is beautiful and wonderful, so take my word for it.  Mary Elizabeth Winstead is beautiful and wonderful and today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

Last night I watched Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb (which I can never remember the correct name.  I always have to look it up, I always have some combo of Mummy and Tomb but am never right) and it is something I haven’t seen in a few years but sticks in my head.  It isn’t Hammer’s best movie but it does do a good job of capturing the feel.  I first saw it as a kid because I had a Grandmother who loved horror and was nuts for the Universal Monsters.  This gave us a common ground as she had missed the Hammer Gothic stuff what with the adulthood (strange that my adulthood allows for horror movies but then I am painfully immature) so we got to see a lot of them for the first time.  Valerie Leon was my main take away even as a kid because she was gorgeous and I remember at the time wondering if it was weird to think that about someone from the ‘olden days’.  Anyway, the movie is what it is, unless you have the same soft spot for Gothic Horror I do I don’t think you need to rush out and see it.  But it to possess that same glamor that Hammer is famous for and Valerie Leon has it in spades as well.  She was of course a Bond girl as well, among other things but I think this was her only leading role.  What a waste because man she is gorgeous and she handled herself quite well.  And man, seriously, she is beautiful.  And hot as an evil Mummy.  Except kind of not really a Mummy but I don’t want to be pedantic.  The point is she is gorgeous and today I want to fuck Valerie Leon.

So this post started because my own queued reblog of a Ginger Snaps thing popped up on my dash and I suddenly had the urge to post her.  Sadly, pictures of her are so hard to come by and I was looking through what I have and I realized I was limiting myself by trying to find sexy things when she is best known for horror movies.  So I went full Halloween today with horrifying images.  And it’s interesting, this juxtaposition.  There certainly are people out there who conflate sex and violence and horror has been accused of linking the two but that isn’t what this is about.  Katharine Isabelle covered in blood is not something I find sexually attractive.  What I do think happens though is that horror can elicit strong feelings, it’s why it works as a genre and why it has always existed, it speaks to something primal in us.  Good horror at least.  It plays on something deep down we have always feared.  I think the reason pretty girls in horror movies are often so beloved by horror fans is because they are then strongly connected to strong emotion, even if it’s not the same one as attraction.  Or I could be talking out my ass because truth is I couldn’t fall asleep last night and once I did I couldn’t stay asleep.  Mainly I just feel like it’s October and I might as well post something spooky.  So here you go, spooky post.  Cause… uhh… Katharine Isabelle is so hot it’s scary?  Ugh, that’s terrible.  Today I want to fuck Katharine Isabelle.

Natalie Morales has been in like approximately a million things.  Or maybe it just feels like a million things because she has been in so many things I really liked.  I didn’t think I had posted her before but I had to double check once I realized she was also in the Middleman because I really did love that show.  Then I remembered that show was on like 3 years before I started this blog.  So… no, I haven’t posted her before.  She likely gets so much work though because she is so talented, she seems to keep falling into the role of buttoned up and serious which is a shame cause she was pretty funny as the wild one on Trophy Wife.  She’s good as the sorta straight man though which is why she is here today.  I have been watching The Grinder and it is hilarious.  I love it.  She is very skilled at being funny as one of the few people to not succumb to Rob Lowe’s charms on the show (which is impressive cause have you seen those eyes?  That smile?).  Anyway, she is always pretty, I like seeing here so today I want to fuck Natalie Morales.

There is an increasing danger that we are going to see weekly posts of Priyanka Chopra.  I have always found her to be astoundingly beautiful but in the past there was this buffer where she was a star on the other side of the world so didn’t actually come up in my daily life very often.  Now she’s on TV once a week where she looks amazing.  And it means every week when I watch her (and to be honest I am basically watching just for her) there is no one else I can post.  Like, it’s one of those things where I see her and she wins.  Because she is gorgeous.  Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

Here is Doutzen Kroes who for a long time I would joke about her being my second favorite Victoria’s Secret model.  I mean, that wasn’t a joke, she was, I just kind of joked about how your second favorite Victoria’s Secret model was better than your favorite lots of things.  Like my favorite trip to the dentist is way, way below Doutzen Kroes.  None of that applies anymore though because she left Victoria’s Secret last year.  No, instead now to me she sadly represents how the internet is a cesspool of assholery.  Places on the internet where they regularly discuss models are maybe the most depressing place on Earth.  I don’t really discuss models there but I do have to visit such places now and then and it’s essentially gatherings of women tearing down other women to make the one model they like look better.  The big knock about Doutzen Kroes is that she looks “really old” and there are discussions about why she looks terrible and old.  Besides these being really stupid, it actually makes me angry.  Not just because Doutzen Kroes is outrageously beautiful or even just because I think if you have negative opinions about strangers you can keep them to yourself.  No, it depresses me because it falls into this terrible trap that youth is beauty and beauty is the only thing that we value.  And thus a woman cannot age gracefully, she is either beautiful or used up.  Plus I really like Doutzen Kroes and so I just feel a little defensive seeing nasty things said.  I don’t know, I don’t have a point I guess, I think Doutzen Kroes is gorgeous.  I think if you feel a need to sit on the internet and bash things and people others love you should probably spend that energy working on being a happier person.  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

Emilia Clarke has been due for a posting for day snow.  I assume anyone who is interested enough to be reading this saw her Esquire sexiest woman alive thing.  I thought I would post her that day but then someone else trumped her.  This has happened a lot this week.  I find Emilia Clarke beautiful, like she is one of those light up a room kind of beauties.  I mean, I have never been in a room with her to my knowledge but I mean like… her smile.  It’s one of those special smiles that seems so purely joyful that it makes you happy to see it.  That;’s the kind of beauty I mean, the kind that just makes you happy.  So every time I haven’t posted her recently it feels like a huge oversight.  It just happens I guess.  But she is gorgeous and today I want to fuck Emilia Clarke.

So the bad news is I probably will not be able to see Crimson Peak this weekend.  It just doesn’t appear to be in the cards.  Now, I realize that there could be worse words and a lot of you are thinking, “This doesn’t matter to me at all so it isn’t really bad news for me”.  To you I would ask, how have you been following me for so long and not understood this is all about me?  Anyway, the good news is with Crimson Peak out Jessica Chastain has been everywhere.  I am very happy about this because seeing Jessica Chastain makes me happy.  I am looking forward to a nice long Chastain season this year.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.