Chloe Moretz is at a film festival in Paris and that’s cool for a few reasons. First it’s just the 7th annual version of this film festival. That’s great. I love venerable old film festivals but the world needs new ones and new traditions in my opinion. It’s in part how we get venerable old film festivals eventually. After all, TIFF was an upstart once, now it’s important. But also more voices are a good thing in any art form. So I always smile when I see a celebrity at a film festival that is younger than this website. Second, she looked really pretty. But like… I like her top. Maybe I’d like her pants on a different outfit? I didn’t like them together. The magic of the lies that the internet can give us though is I can add a picture where it doesn’t include the two together. Magic. I feel bad even criticizing her clothing, like it feels like a douche in a bar trying to neg a girl, “She looks really good despite how terrible that outfit its” but it’s kind of a common thing with her. Often she wears stuff and I am like, “You know, I really am not sure about that outfit but she looks so good”. I guess that’s a very backhanded compliment that her beauty manages to transcend her sense of style but there it is. I am an ass. Anyway, she is beautiful and so I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Chloe Moretz.

I was just thinking last night that it has been ages since I have seen Jenna Coleman and how that is a shame. And now here she is. She was at a Polo match. I think. I am pretty sure. I am not entirely sure it’s called a match but I think so. Polo is one of those things I know very little about. You’d think I would because I understand it is for fancy people and my blog is so fancy you’d be forgiven for assuming I spend my days watching Polo and wearing cashmere. But I don’t. I am largely simpler than that. But she is fancy I guess and was there and I really thought she looked pretty in her white dress. And I miss getting to post her more often. Sadly, post Doctor Who everyone just shows up less. I guess the Tardis makes it easier to show up at events or something. Today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.

Here is Madelaine Petsch because the MTV Movie Awards were last night and she was there and clearly I find her attractive. I guess if we want to make it thematic today she also had a video where she surprised her dad for his birthday this week, which is sweet but it maybe feels strange to tie this blog into father’s day. I dunno, I like wishing you guys Happy Halloween and Merry Christmas but you’re not my dad. You can’t tell me what to do! Anyway, the video is here if you want it. She looked good, I like sparkly pink. I dunno if her outfit was the best one of the night but I like her so I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.

Here is Pigeon Foo cause it’s been ages since I posted Pigeon Foo. Which is a shame. Because she’s kind of awesome and always has been. Ok, that might be a bit over the top, I can’t speak to always because it would get us into a whole discussion on the nature of time and the human soul and when someone starts to exist and so on and well… sure, that’s what her blog is all about but not mine. I’ll leave the metaphysics to her. Usually I go on and on about her but usually I have more than like an hours sleep so this is it today. She is pretty, I am posting pictures of her that I feel prove this. Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

The Ocean’s 8 premiers have largely left me disappointed because I really expected them to be cavalcade of oh my god and they haven’t been. Which is fine but also you know, disappointing. I am posting Rihanna cause she looked pretty good at the most recent European premier though… well, she has yet to wear anything that completely blew me away. Which is a pretty high standard I know but it’s Rihanna, it’s the standard she has set. I remember getting in trouble for a bunch of B’s on my report card as a kid but my best friend was given a cake for passing every class and I felt that was a bit unfair (and it was) but there are different expectations for different people and the expectation for Rihanna is generally set at amazing or higher. So I liked what she wore but it didn’t blow me away. Maybe she just was showing female solidarity. There are a lot of women in the film and showing other people up is kind of a dick move. I could believe that, Rihanna seems like a pretty decent sort in that way. Anyway, disappointing Rihanna is still pretty great, in the scheme of things, so I am posting her. That feels important to say, “Rihanna doesn’t look as good as she does sometimes” is the same as, “Rihanna looks better than almost everyone else ever”. So you know, again, it’s a matter of expectation more than anything. She looks good. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Here is Robin Holzken in a bunch of wedding dresses because she modeled some wedding dresses and it turns out she looks fucking fantastic in wedding dresses. To the point that all I could think was it’s a real shame it’s not socially acceptable to wear a wedding dress to anything other than a wedding. Well, your own wedding. You can’t even get away with it at other people’s weddings because you look like a real asshole if you do. But at least in that case you are only an asshole. If you are going around wearing a wedding dress to anything else and it is not literally the day of your wedding, you look like a crazy person. Like, next level crazy never talk to that girl again. And that’s if you’re a girl. Society has a lot of built in biases that if it’s a dude just showing up at the bar wearing a wedding dress he looks even crazier. It seems almost unfair but I guess it’s true of a lot of things that really are uniforms. I am sure there are some dudes that looked fantastic in their high school baseball uniform. I can see it, my school had pretty smart, pinstriped vests over a longer shirt with the school letter and stuff. It looked good. But you show up to watch a baseball game dressed like that? You better have a damn good story or you look insane. And that’s baseball adjacent, I won’t even go into if you show up to the beach in a uniform and cleats. This is the crushing weight of societal expectations and how really they hurt us all. Because now the only real option is to wish a string of failed marriages on Robin Holzken. That’s not fair to her but she looks so good in a wedding dress that it also wouldn’t be fair to her to only get to wear a single wedding dress and just on one day. So like… for her to get past that we need the misery of a string of failed marriages? It’s terrible. Which, and again, I hate to call myself a hero but it’s the only word that fits, I am going to come out and say if she every wants to hang out with me and just wear wedding dresses, I promise not to judge. At all. Because I am a hero. Today I want to fuck Robin Holzken.

Madelaine Petsch has been at a bunch of stuff this week and I really like her on account of her being attractive. But not everything she wore worked for me. A lot of it didn’t. But she also had a dress with a cape on it and I have to give some props for a cape. I realize a cape isn’t a thing that maybe everyone loves but I think if you are going to cape it up you should embrace it. A cape might not be practical but it’s a bold fashion choice. Which is why I wish she had gone bigger with the cape because once you have a cape everyone in the room should always be looking at your cape. Still, it got her here so it must have worked. Note, this works on the assumption that somehow it would be anyone’s goal to be posted here. I am rambling. She’s very pretty. Today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.

Here is Doutzen Kroes because she is pretty and that’s about it. I have a running joke with a friend about how old she is that stems from the internet being a cesspool. And the sort of people who track models intently seem to be the worst. It’s disappointing but it’s almost like a team sport for them and a lot of people just don’t know how to support their favorite anything without tearing down anything else. It’s a miserable way to live your life and makes someone miserable to be around. The “knock” against Doutzen by these types is how old she is getting (mixed with having kids has ruined her body. They also love to attack any model who dares to have children). It’s laughably stupid because almost all of these pictures are from this year. I guess to someone they are picture of an old woman with a ruined body but to paraphrase my grandfather who is an actual old man, “those people are exceptionally stupid so people learn to stop paying attention to them”. Which is the best way to look at it. Ignore the idiots, engaging just gives validity to their stupidity. But also… are they blind? I don’t want to be ablist and attack blind people who can’t see these pictures. Though I am wondering why they would say such negative things then. Anyway, I think Doutzen Kroes is beautiful. There, I took a radical stand. Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

I had a big drive yesterday and so i listened to the new Chvrches album as I did so. I knew it had come out and wanted to get the chance and was reminded when @she-goes-to-eleven told me it was her happy music. I wanted some of that and I listened and it’s really good. Which isn’t a surprise really, I like Chvrches as much as spell check hates them. I have heard some rumblings of people complaining it’s too mainstream but you know, I kinda hoped we had left that behind in the 90’s so those people can eat a dick as far as I am concerned. Anyway, the result is I am posting Lauren Mayberry which is long overdue but she just has never come up. It’s just a thing. Scottish Indie Pop Power Trios don’t show up in pictures and on celebrity sites nearly as often as some other people do and if this blog has taught me anything it’s that I am an easily influenced idiot. The media has a far greater hold on my imagination than I ever realized. Well, I guess I am correcting that today. Lauren Mayberry is adorable and pretty hot at the same time and I have always really liked her music. So today I want to fuck Lauren Mayberry.