So I watched Cobra Kai. All of it actually. It was pretty quick, just the ten episodes. The first two were free on YouTube so I figured why not and the first episode was kind of awesome so I went with it. I don’t want to oversell this show, it’s not life changing or anything but much better than I thought it would be or that it should be. I am kind of negative on the general nostalgia that seems to dominate our culture these days but I am susceptible. I feel like too much nostalgia can poison not just art but the culture. I think nostalgia for things that never really happened is how we ended up with our current President. It allows people to rewrite the past and gets people stuck there. One of the things I appreciate about this show is how the two main characters are really poisoned by the past. Their nostalgia for 1986 is in a lot of ways ruining their lives. More obviously for some than others. Of course, that same read you could perhaps replace ideas of masculinity with nostalgia and it’s a similar thing. It’s good. It’s not groundbreaking but it is good. I liked it. So I am posting Hannah Kepple from it, who is a very small part but I thought she was pretty. She is a popular girl turned mean girl basically by peer pressure. I guess the power of Karate frees her from that, though I think she is just passing from one terrible person to another potentially. Anyway, this is really more about the show and that I thought she was really pretty. It appears to be the first thing she has ever been in. Good for her. Today I want to fuck Hannah Kepple.

Welp, Cannes has started guys and already Jessica Chastain has landed in France and Fan Bingbing has been on the red carpet. It’s going to be an exciting two weeks because last year the pair just destroying the red carpet. Fan Bingbing has already started and I mean, she has a habit of always looking amazing no matter what. There are few people on Earth who have a better fashion sense than her. It’s just astounding. She also has that habit of looking good in anything, even things that just frankly shouldn’t work. So I am looking forward to what she brings this year. This is sort of an anticipation post. Today I want to fuck Fan Bingbing.

Well guys, the Met Gala was last night and wow I was blown away. I kind of thought the theme of the whole Catholic Imagination would be good but I had no idea until people started showing up just how good it would be. It was just such a rich tapestry for designers to express themselves on as so many people looked like they stepped out of an old bit of Byzantine Iconography or a renaissance painting about an obscure saint. It was pretty awesome. And I knew today would be tough because I could have easily posted over a dozen people today and been happy because so many people knocked the theme out of the park. Which is nice, some years it seems like people just ignore the theme and you know, nice dresses and all but when you can wear that gown to any event it feels like you wasted a real chance to get creative. Also, this really gave us some amazing headpieces which I didn’t even know I wanted but I did. Just beautiful things to look at. Priyanka Chopra and Nicki Minaj’s deserve a ton of credit. Their whole looks were good but they really just had amazing head pieces. There were a ton of tiaras which I guess some people might not like but I fear those people’s lives are devoid of joy and wonder. There were wild looks that really were pulled off well like Lana Del Rey, Katy Perry, and Zendaya. There were subtler ones that I think really looked great like Kate Upton or Alicia Vikander. There were a lot of in between that nailed the theme, were not too out there but definitely could only ever work here like Amber Heard, Olivia Munn, or Ariana Grande. There was Rihanna because there is always Rihanna and maybe for the first time ever had me going, “Hey, that Mitre is kind of hot”. No, I mean, definitely for the first time ever. And you know, on the guys side it’s usually more boring but one or two people always stand out and this year Chadwick Boseman won by basically looking like what if Lando Calrissian became the Pope. Which I guess to some sounds weird or like an insult but it isn’t. It was strongly on theme and not that odd an a pairing really since Lando and every Pope ever are pretty over the top glam and love flashy capes. My point is there was a lot going on last night and so many people I could praise. And I basically always knew I was posting Blake Lively. I saw her dress and I knew it would be hard to top. I knew today would be a hard decision but I always knew she’d win. Because she always knocks it out of the park at these things. She just does. And last night might have been her single best Met Gala look ever. Which is impressive because she has been 10 times and always does well. She looked like she stepped out of a painting though. Some cross between a Medici Princess and and Elizabethan noble woman. The pictures of her mounting the stairs could be framed and just labeled the Ascension of Saint Lively and I would believe it. The look was just perfect and it’s where my head keeps going back. So today I want to fuck Blake Lively.  

Happy Monday guys. It’s a potentially exciting day out there. I mean, Mondays suck and all but the Met Gala is tonight and the days are getting warmer and hey, who knows, I am sure other things are happening too. I am posting Candice Swanepoel because why not? She seems to have cleverly done a lot of work in advance to getting pregnant or in advance to showing at least and there is just this steady stream of stuff of her in swimsuits despite the fact that in reality she is ready to burst. Very clever on her part. She has also looked great in this stuff so I am posting it here. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Among the stupidest things I have done to essentially punish myself is insisting on posting models who largely have made their living getting naked and running a blog where I don’t post naked pictures. Obviously I can’t post nudes, this is the Wu-Tang of blogs. Which is a joke that I have probably made before, I find funny but most people probably don’t, and I am not sure where it falls on the obscurity scale because I think the ODB is a huge, huge star but that shit was in 1998. That’s 20 years ago. Anyway, it means that I have to do some deep digging to find pictures of Rosie Jones where she is wearing more than a smile. Now, I like her smile but I like to have some variety. Luckily there is some stuff, including some pictures from a Sun article that declares Rosie Jones is wearing, “Raunchy Lace Up Tops” which my dear friend Katherine and I have had a field day with for months now. First of all because raunchy is a hilarious word. Anyone who uses that to describe anything and is being serious is hilariously old fashioned. Second of all, you can pick out the top, it’s the one with laces. It is hilarious to declare anything with laces to be raunchy. Did you know your shoes are often the raunchiest thing you’re wearing? It’s the best. I encourage you to enjoy this new knowledge of the raunchy nature of many pieces of clothes you have. Anyway, Rosie Jones is very attractive and embodies many things I like in women, that being dedication to laces in tops and being British. Today I want to fuck Rosie Jones.

Here is Victoria Justice because she is apparently at the Kentucky Derby this year. I assume. She was at the pre Kentucky Derby Gala and Kentucky seems like a strange place to travel for a Gala if you aren’t sticking around for the actual Derby. Maybe she really just wanted to meet some horse people but not deal with horses? That seems very unlikely. I am going to go out on a limb and say she will also be at the actual Derby itself. She looked fantastic last night in a sparkly silver dress but my first thought was, “What crazy stupid hat will she wear tomorrow?” I ask because for some reason a very important part of horse culture is stupid hats. Well, not horse culture. Horse culture seems to mainly be eating grass, running, and kind of smelling. Horse people culture. I don’t know what part of watching horses run requires a big stupid hat but it does. The bigger the better. They often look ridiculous. But Victoria Justice has a habit of looking really good in most of what she wears. To the point that it gets a little dull how good she looks a lot of the time. So I want to see if she can pull off a big stupid hat. We’ll see. Today I want to fuck Victoria Justice.

So Google has done a hilarious thing for the past week or so. It tends to give you information based on what it thinks you like and thus it has been trying to sell me Infinity War as a Karen Gillan movie. Like, basically telling me the new Karen Gillan movie Avengers: Infinity War is in theaters now. New Karen Gillan trailer and it links to Infitiny War videos. That kind of thing. It’s hilarious because yes I do like Karen Gillan a lot but I doubt even Karen Gillan’s mom refers to Avengers as, “the new Karen Gillan movie”. It has had me very tempted to try and use that phrase though. To see if I can get my friends into the theater with, “Hey, you guys want to go see the new Karen Gillan movie this weekend?” or that kind of thing. I assume I would just get blank stares though. Anyway, I did see the new Karen Gillan movie and it was basically what I expected in that it was the movie version of the giant crossover issues of my youth. This largely means if you really like the rest of the Karen Gillan movieverse you will really like Infinity War. If you haven’t seen the others or didn’t care for them you will be lost or not at all converted. Cause that’s kind of how these things work, they exist to mash together things and see characters together you have never seen before and have lots of big epic explosions. It did that so I liked it. But I mean, obviously I am so into Karen Gillan that my phone is convinced I think she’s the lead of an Avengers movie so maybe I am biased. Today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.

Rihanna is here because it really doesn’t take a lot to make me want to post Rihanna. Her showing up in a magazine is usually enough. In this case she is going to be in the June issue of Vogue and thus here she is, on my blog. It’s pretty simple math and I am not sure anyone can blame me because Rihanna is of course ridiculously beautiful. She just is. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Kate Upton is long over due to make a return here and I am not sure why she hasn’t. She has had a few different things for Yamamay come out in the past month or so and has just looked fantastic. Like seriously, it’s among the best she has ever looked. So why hasn’t she shown up? I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve been drunk for an entire month but then again if I blacked out how would I know if I was drunk or not? Was I so drunk I didn’t know I was drunk? It’s probably the only explanation because she really has looked amazing. So I am posting her today. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is some Rose McIver cause iZombie was on last night. It’s really that simple. The show is impressively still very good, which sounds like I am surprised and I kind of am. It has always felt kind of twisty and moving fast but every show starts to enter a decline eventually, so I was always worried it would run out of plot. On top of that, the status quo is different in a way now that very few shows would attempt. Yet it all works. So that’s impressive. And that’s why Rose McIver is here because honestly shows I really like seem to increase my attraction to the people on it. And she was already good looking. So today I want to fuck Rose McIver.