After complaining about the lack of Rihanna last week, it seems someone listened this week and at the London premier of that movie that the verdict is it’s pretty but terrible we get a lot of Rihanna pictures.  Maybe it’s the European press being more savvy, maybe it’s just the impact of this blog on the culture at large, it’s impossible to know which it is.  The point is she looked good because that’s what she does.  Like to an astonishing degree because her dress was a thing I felt like I shouldn’t like.  I feel like on someone else I wouldn’t like it, it would feel too… I am not even sure, too a lot of things.  It works for Rihanna though because she’s Rihanna.  It’s what she does really.  I guess that’s confidence or just being so sylish you can make things that shouldn’t work work  Being beautiful probably helps, too, we don’t need to get into my shirt theory again, do we?  Probably not.  Anyway, here she is in dresses that I feel wouldn’t work on anyone else but are absolutely outstanding on her.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Comic Con is over but not in our hearts, right?  I don’t actually know what that means but I had to start this somehow. Madelaine Petsch was there with the rest of the Riverdale cast and the entire CW and hey, she’s a very attractive redhead.  Also, for whatever reason she is the most photographed cast member of the show.  I don’t know why this is.  I am certainly not complaining but it is a thing I have noticed.  Maybe she just shows up at more things.  The rest of the cast is a bunch of wall flowers I guess.  It’s a shame really, thinking about all of them shyly sitting in their rooms, too sheepish to go out to parties.  Man, I get it, a lot of us have been there but you guys are in your 20’s, you’re on a TV show, this is your time.  You’ll regret it later, trust me.  At least Madelaine is living her life and getting some attention for the show, which I should stress again was remarkably good in it’s first season.  Or at least it was remarkable in how much better it was than really it every should have been.  It’s also beautiful to look at and a TV show with a distinct visual style is a pretty rare treat actually.  And yeah, the people tend to be beautiful to look at as well. Like Madelaine Petsch.  Look at that, it all loops around and here I thought i was just hitting keys with my fingers and hoping it worked out.  Today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.

In fairness I knew there was a really good chance I’d be making a post about a Riverdale cast member this weekend because I knew the CW shows were getting panels at Comic Con and I knew it would mean the rare instance of the stars of the shows having pictures surface online.  And well, here is Camila Mendes because she is remarkably beautiful.  Obviously everyone has their preference, I mean Betty or Veronica has been a debate since before I was born, but I think she is just gorgeous and the person on the show I am most attracted to.  And so here she is.  It’s pretty simple.  I hope the second season is good.  Today I want to fuck Camila Mendes.

Comic Con is in full swing and we are starting to see pictures of celebrities at it, which is a good thing.  There were lots to choose from today but I really liked how Krysten Ritter looked in the pictures I saw of her at the Defenders related stuff.  I am of course excited for the Defenders, though I am more excited for a second season of Jessica Jones.  Part of my brain is almost confused by the whole Jessica Jones thing.  Like she was so perfect and it was so amazing and she just was great in that role but I look at Krysten Ritter and my thought is like, she seems like the last person who should be bothered to talk about Superheroes.  I don’t know why, it just seems like she should be above that or that she should give so little shits about it that she can’t be bothered.  But clearly she isn’t.  I’d assume superheroes are almost the only thing she’ll be talking about this weekend.  I have no clue why I feel this way.  I guess I am just glad that no matter what my brain seems to think (likely fueled by the first thing I ever saw her in, Veronica Mars) she is the perfect Jessica Jones.  Today I want to fuck Krysten Ritter.

So there is going to be a new Doctor and I knew Peter Capaldi was leaving but I didn’t know there was a new announcement until I saw people saying they were excited about the new Doctor.  I don’t know what I expected, that this time a Doctor would leave and we’d have the new one sprung on us out of nowhere.  Anyway, it wasn’t until today that I found out apparently a bunch of dudes have their penises in a bunch over the fact that the Doctor is now a girl.  Now, I am not going to claim I am surprised that men on the internet are sobbing their eyes out because a girl exists, this isn’t my first day here, but it did catch my off guard.  Like, I wanted to go “really?”  And not for the obvious reason of, “Really you giant babies?” but in the sense that I kind of just assumed the 13th Doctor would be a woman.  I assumed this because of something they call “foreshadowing” in the biz.  And by the biz I mean the 7th grade when we all learned what foreshadowing is.  I mean, besides the fact that it has been speculated the next Doctor would be a woman since Tennant was leaving, there is the fact that in recent seasons they seem to have gone out of their way to indicate this is going to happen at some point.  I mean, they have explicitly shown male Time Lords regenerate into Female Time Lords.  They have given us the Master as the Mistress.  They have dropped lines like, “The future is female” repeatedly (and this is actual foreshadowing, not me just being snarky and pointing out you pissy little bitches are not just sad little whiny cry babies but also terribly stupid and bad consumers of media).  Anyway, I am sorry if some of you will never feel joy again.  I actually do sympathize.  One time I really wanted a candy bar and my mom said no and I started screaming and throwing a tantrum and she dragged me out of the store and put me in time and told me I wasn’t a baby anymore and 4 year olds needed to behave better than that. It stung but it was an important lesson. My first reaction upon seeing Jodie Whittaker was, “Oh, wow, I know her.  I liked her a lot in Broadchurch!  I think I posted her once”.  I did post her and I did like her in Broadchurch.  I thought she was very good in a role that frankly could have been one note and thankless.  I really felt for her and I am really looking forward to seeing her as the Doctor because I always look forward to a new Doctor.  Even if I am going to miss the old one and it kind of hurts to move on, I still am excited to see what happens next.  Of course, on the other hand I guess she could ruin the show by um… Jesus, I don’t know, smearing raw estrogen on the lens so you can’t see anything?  I mean, I guess that could happen but it seems unlikely.  I haven’t heard about her doing that elsewhere.  I am posting her though cause I am hoping something new is a good thing for the show and as I told a friend, i am not sure if I am going to be able to sexualize the Doctor, so clearly it’s important to get in my objectification now (that said, I have absolute faith in myself, I’ll probably pull it off).  So here she is and hey, since a few people were leaving nasty comments about libtards and fat sluts on my blog this week, I really look forward to your insightful feedback about how your childhood has been destroyed by your fragile, insignificant ego.  Today I want to fuck Jodie Whittaker.

Man, today was a mess.  I didn’t forget to post, I just couldn’t before now.  Sorry those of you I panicked (one person noticed.  It’s @femalecelebrityoftheday, I promise you he’s the only one who noticed).  Anyway, here is Rihanna who probably would have been posted yesterday if I had been able to find decent pictures of her at this premier. Like, I could find picutres of a bunch of other people for this movie but not Rihanna.  There were some like… blurry pictures taken through bushes or something.  It’s like you have all these great pictures and then Rihanna hit the carpet and they’re like, no, no, photograph this one like we do Bigfoot.  Back up 200 feet, put away the DSLR, get out the cardboard disposable camera with the cracked lens.  Yeah, that’s it, now try to wait until someone is walking in front of her and good, great.  We got her ankle, we can post that and people can debate if Rihanna is real or not.  Look, I don’t want to tell anyone how to do their job, I am pretty far from a professional photographer but when you have a woman who is very famous, famously beautiful, and famously a fashion icon I would work to get a picture of her with her in frame and you know, focused. That’s what I’d do.  But then, I am running this blog and those guys are in Hollywood hobnobbing with all sorts of people who couldn’t make it as real celebrities so take pictures of them for a living.  Maybe they have it all figured out.  Anyway, she was at a premier for a movie that starts with a V and I am going to misspell it so why bother.  Trying is the first step to failure I always say. It’s for this movie I have heard of but know absolutely nothing about.  I have heard it is either going to be great or terrible, which I have to say, is a pretty striking range of early returns.  I don’t know, is Rihanna in it?  Does she have a song in it?  I don’t know, maybe they just invited her.  That’s what I’d do if I have a movie.  First of all she’s beautiful, so you get the bonus of just being around that but second of all you know she’s going to wear something great.  You know she is.  So it’s like this huge win.  Even if your movie is terrible she is standing in front of the poster and your brain is going to go, I dunno, but suddenly this movie looks great.  That’s residual Rihanna all over your poster.  Call it something different though because that sounds kinda gross maybe.  Work on it.  You have marketing departments, I can’t do it all for your Hollywood. Anyway, Rihanna looks great in her pink dress that frankly most people couldn’t pull off but she can because she’s Rihanna.  I like it.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

The summer has reached a point where it is pretty low on inspiration for this blog.  I mean that in the sense that there aren’t a lot of events or premiers or TV shows on or anything.  There are movies but that would require me to go outside and I guess I don’t do that anymore.  Luckily I have @she-goes-to-eleven who I was talking to and somehow the conversation was about Kelly Brook.  I don’t know how it started but it went all over the map in strange directions which is really par for the course if you’ve ever let me just ramble at you because my digressions take digressions.  Anyway, that is why she is here and I didn’t know what I was going to talk about but because Google is a mind reader my phone suggested a story where some people think Kelly Brook is photoshopping some of her instagram photos.  I don’t know.  They look like Kelly Brook to me and unless news agencies were photoshopping pictures of her at horse races it all looks the same to me.  I mean, I am not surprised strangers on the internet are attacking a woman because of what her body looks like but to me the photoshopping, if it exists or not is a whole lot of so what.  I say this for a couple of reasons.  First, everything you see is a lie.  I mean in general the whole perception is not the same as reality and all that but you know, past the Freshman year intro to Philosophy stuff, everything you see with a celebrity is a lie.  Or at least not the truth.  What you are allowed to see is carefully curated by someone.  Maybe not the celebrity herself but it passes through so many filters.  Unless you are close, personal friends with Kelly Brook you have never seen the real Kelly Brook.  Authenticity you sense in celebrities is just a type that is traditionally successful.  They can feel as real as you want, they aren’t. This isn’t a tirade against this kind of thing, we all do this, they just are better at it and have machinery around them to do it better.  I mean, we all wore a strange hat or used some stupid slang when we were 16 to seem more interesting and we put forth certain aspects of ourselves and hide others to seem the way we want to seem to others as adults.  I think it’s just important to always keep this in mind, to mitigate what you see with the knowledge that it is not reality.  But more important than that it doesn’t matter because what the fuck do you expect?  When you put all of a woman’s value in how she appears how can you ever possibly be outraged when she does something to try and improve how she appears.  It’s the standard you have set.  And this goes for all of it, like you people out there talking about how good women look without make up and how you prefer a girl who looks real (and side note, every time I have seen this it’s a woman wearing either minimal make up or using lipstick with a more natural tone, so you guys are all idiots who don’t know how make up works).  I guess what I am saying is in general, the world has very few moral reprobates who just get off on doing what you consider wrong.  There are a few.  You will run across them in your life, who just cheat at life because they enjoy cheating it.  Everyone else is just doing it because we have incentivized it.  If you see someone doing something to get an advantage it’s usually because it’s the situation the world has shoved them into.  Try to stop and think about why before you decide to shit on someone.  Kelly Brook’s looks are obviously a big part of her success and fame, I have a hard time being outraged that a 37 year old woman might be trying to look as good as possible, especially when most of the other news articles that google sends me about her are people talking about if she’s too fat or not.  What I am saying is eat a dick internet stranger who probably will never read this.  Anyway, here are pictures of her from photoshoots so I promise you they have been retouched.  She’s damn good looking though.  Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

Emily Ratajkowski was in Allure and that’s great because I like pictures of Emily Ratajkowski.  It’s that simple, she’s really hot.  I also liked the editorial, there was a feel to it that I can’t describe but the first picture is part of it so you know, maybe that gives you an idea.  I mean, this is tumblr, if you found this looking under her tag you have probably seen the shoot 100 times now.  If you just follow me and saw this well, hey, thanks, I appreciate it but you can also click the tag right now at the bottom of this post.  That’s what this blog is really all about, telling you the basic uses of tumblr.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Of the many injustices in the world, one of the greatest is that Cannes ever ended so we stopped getting a picture of Fan Bingbing in a brand new gown each day.  Or pictures of her at all basically.  I guess there are worse things out there.  Probably.  But it feels like with all our technology and as interconnected as the world is that the only reason we aren’t seeing her more is because someone out there just hates joy and beauty.  I don’t have a particular reason for Fan Bingbing being here today in the sense that she didn’t show up at something or wasn’t in a thing I watched or anything like that.  I just think she is beautiful and yesterday a friend and I were talking about the fact that she could literally wear anything and make it look good.  Or at least she would look good. Think about your most embarrassingly bad fashion choice in your entire life. Visualize it.  I know, it hurts a little but it was probably Junior High and we were all there.  No stop and realize if Fan Bingbing wore it she’d pull it off.  Sure, it would still be a horrible outfit but you’d kind of like it on her and she would look absolutely beautiful.  It’s a little unfair but more unfair is that once again, Cannes ended and thus she has slipped back to being someone who rarely shows up in Western Media.  It’s cruel really.  But she is beautiful so I am posting her because today I want to fuck Fan Bingbing.

So I got a little complainy yesterday about D23 and now I am posting someone from it again, so if I have some issue with it apparently I am part of the problem. I mean, yeah, I am the part of a lot of problems.  I was thinking about it more though and I realized why some of this stuff makes my skin crawl and others don’t.  Regular atendees of Comic Con, and you know, people who claim they have been going for 20 years, often complain about movie studios taking over the event.  When this started depends on which of my friends I ask and how much they hate twilight but it was either the early 2000’s or the late 2000’s.  But my point is, it’s a fan convention originally set up by fans and still, in theory sorta run by fans or fan interests at least.  So if there is a Star Wars panel it is, in theory cause people care about Star Wars.  But let’s be honest, that panel exists to advertise a movie in the best way to advertise anything, make people feel invested and excited and like they aren’t being advertised to.  I guess to me the difference is with D23 or something, it’s a company throwing a party for themselves and advertising to fans and making those fans pay for a ticket for the privileged.  It’s a different dynamic.  At best it’s like that one obnoxious friend in your 20’s who reminded everyone it was her birthday coming up for a month, bullied one of her friends into throwing a surprised party, and then had the gall to act surprised at the surprise party and shed a tear that she was so touched she was so important to everyone that they did this.  It just feels a little creepy and is a red flag that this maybe isn’t a person you want in your life.  So you know, that is probably my issue and now I have written a bunch more words complaining instead of about Daisy Ridley.  Daisy Ridley I find to be a charming delight and I would love to make a joke that she should get away from Disney before Disney reveals itself to be a horrible drama queen and sleeps with Daisy’s boyfriend because Disney can’t feel love so just goes fro attention but… well, I am pretty sure being aligned with Disney is very lucrative for her.  It would be terrible career advice.  And i don’t think an entire company would sleep with her boyfriend.  I just… I mean sex seems like it would stop being fun at some point and probably a lot sooner than any of us want to admit in our fantasies.  Anyway, she is great and I am always glad to see her show up, so maybe D23 has some benefits.  December can’t get here fast enough.  Today I want to fuck Daisy Ridley.