Tag: Actress

So Fan Bingbing was at a Louis Vuitton show in Japan and there is also sorts of confusing cultural interchange going on there but I am posting her because oh my god did she looks just ridiculously beautiful there.  I shouldn’t be surprised because that’s a thing she does a lot.  I mean the look beautiful part.  Though the Louis Vuitton part, too, I think the last time I posted her was at another fashion show or something.  Anyway, she looked great.  I was going to make a joke that it’s the picture where she has a Louis Vuitton purse but… well, it’s not that good of a joke.  It is a coincidence though because I just met someone the other day who explained the way he got out of Saudi Arabia was he opened a business in Dubai selling knock off Louis Vuitton purses to American tourists and then once he saved enough moved home and applied for a student visa here.  That doesn’t have a lot to do with any of this but it warms my heart that cheap Americans are indirectly making dreams come true around the world. Anyway, Fan Bingbing is one of those people who may have been built in a lab somewhere because she is almost supernaturally beautiful and frankly looks a good 15 years younger than she is.  Which suddenly has me really concerned that she’s a communist plot to distract us.  Or me at least.  I assume that the Chinese know the part I played in bringing down the Soviet Union because I rooted really, really hard for Rocky to knock out Ivan Drago when I was a kid. So they probably fear me at least a little.  Well… bad news for Freedom, it’s working, I am distracted.  Today I want to fuck Fan Bingbing.

I know it’s kind of boring when I post the same person twice in a week but what can I say, I am boring.  Also, slow week for events and stuff.  Also also, Priyanka Chopra is very pretty and has been on a million shows and stuff this week so I constantly am getting new pictures of her arriving at this thing and that.  So you know, you’ll just have to deal.  Besides, this blog isn’t about variety, it’s about my mercurial desires for various celebrities.  She has looked good, I like her a lot, today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

So if you are unaware, Fiona Apple’s Tidal is out on vinyl for the first time ever, which is very exciting for me because I adore Fiona Apple and I have been listening to it non stop since I got it.  I happen to really like Fiona Apple and I happen to really enjoy the record.  It’s a little startling to think about how young she was when the record came out and that she could write such good music so young.  It’s also a little startling that 20 years later she looks almost exactly the same.  I have posted her before but it’s been almost 5 years, which is kind of crazy but not at all crazy given the fact that it is still hard, in this modern era, to find decent pictures of Fiona Apple.  It’s all magazine scans from the 90’s that look like garbage and I get it.  That was when she was on the cover of everything as she was sexualized, criticized for being sexualized, criticized for saying she didn’t like being liked just because people sexualized her, criticized for MTV acceptance speeches, criticized for being too skinny, and so on and so on.  I have no idea why she kind of retreated in her public profile.  I also don’t understand how she could make such good music and people wanted to talk about waifishness.  But they did.  It was a different time and some of my readers might not believe this but there was a time when it felt like a woman couldn’t do anything right.  Someone was always there to criticize it and knock them back down.  Luckily things are all better now. Anyway, it seems in general things have come around on her as these things always do.  Her anxiety, her OCD which is actually a debilitating disease not just a cute thing to claim to have cause you like to pull off the tab on your coke can, all of these things have been discussed and I think it’s good overall.  I feel like I should have more to say about it but I am kind of tired of it all.  The simple truth is she is an excellent song writer with a lot to say, she makes beautiful music, she has an amazing voice, and she has piecing blue eyes that I find very attractive.  That feels like all that really needs to be said I guess.  Today I want to fuck Fiona Apple.

I posted yesterday about being really tired and someone commented on my post about wouldn’t I rather have a nap.  And I responded along the lines of, “Why not both?”  Because I have never understood people who make foolish wishes.  Like, if you’re sitting around going, “God, I wish I had a nice tall glass of iced tea right now” and suddenly one pops in your hand you’re going to feel like a real jackass.  Cause you could have easily wished for a Pony instead and then you’d have a pony.  Instead you’re the chump who couldn’t be bothered to walk to the kitchen and now you’ve wasted your wish.  So, what I am saying is I am still really tired because of course I couldn’t actually sleep again last night and my life is a mess but like… I am leaning way more towards nap today but I still wouldn’t go nap cause I can just take one of those myself.  The only limitation there is logistics and self respect.  Luckily I am a genius so I can work out the logistics and I have never had that much self respect anyway.  So even as tired as I am today nap loses handily to Madelaine Petsch.  She is basically here because she’s really easy.  Having written that I immediately know how it looks.  I don’t know her and I make no judgments either way, I am not some 1950’s letterman, so I don’t really use the word “easy” like that. I just meant that this is a low effort post on my part because her pictures are doing all the heavy lifting.  I don’t have to write out like a list of bullet points on why it is reasonable for me to find her attractive.  She’s done all the hard work.  Like, really the only hurdle to this post is spelling her name.  I am so tired I am paranoid I will fuck it up because I am a shitty speller to begin with but you throw in the fact that both have extra letters and well… if I did I hope she can forgive me.  As for why she’s here?  Cause my phone dinged to tell me Riverdale is on tonight and my mind went down a rabbit hole.  Final episode.  Be there or be square.  Huh, maybe I am a 1950’s letterman after all.  Anyway, today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.

Bear with me guys, I have been up since 3 AM for reasons that can be best described as my brain is an asshole who hates me.  I swear, I am so close to retaliating by stabbing it with a q-tip you don’t even know.  Anyway, the disadvantage to being up for 8 hours at 11 AM is that it is approaching mid day and suddenly I am starting to feel my tiredness.  So this could be loopy, I misspelled know by adding an e to the end of it and I had to look at it for a good 10 seconds before I figured out why that red line was there.  My work won’t suffer at all today I am sure.  There are advantages to being this tired though.  I used to write a lot in my youth after being up for 50 hours straight and so on. Looking back at them they read like the deranged ravings of a lunatic or at least a deeply insecure and depressed 20-something.  Everyone else seemed to think they were really, really entertaining though.  So good news, you might be entertained by this.  Better news, if you make sarcastic comments about liking it I will be too tired to detect the sarcasm.  Best news, I sometimes feel like I am at my purest while this tired.  The truest me.  Like, I am too tired to put in any sort of effort in the falsities and masks we cover ourselves in in the performative art that is life and how we present ourselves to others.  So I can tell you quite honestly I have no idea why Priyanka Chopra is here today other than she popped into my head.  I guess with my defenses down my brain went to her because she’s really hot.  So hey, that’s simple.  Priyanka Chopra is here because she’s hot.  She’s here because today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

I thought I was going to start this by saying it has been years since I posted Aly Michalka.  It turns out I was wrong, it has only been 9 months.  That was also because of iZombie, which is on tonight and which I always look forward to because… well, it’s excellent.  I happen to be a fan of Rob Thomas’ work.  A lot of times when I watch I find myself thinking I should post Aly again because she is beautiful.  I don’t think I am going out on a limb there, it’s one of those things, she is just gorgeous but also a great example of the fickle nature of fame.  She had a lot of heat what was a long time ago now, staring in a show, she seemed to be on every gossip blog all the time.  Just pictures and attention for days. Now… well, almost nothing.  And I often get frustrated when I go to post her (same with Rose McIver.  Why aren’t there pictures everywhere promoting this show?  Horrible mistake CW).  Anyway, she was at something this past week and the show is on tonight and it’s all the reason I need to post her.  Today I want to fuck Aly Michalka.

So I caught up on this weeks Riverdale (the adaptation our favorite Grocery Store Digest, “Archie and the Gang Watch a Snuff Film”) in the early hours of the morning and you know, revelations episodes of shows are never as good. This was a fine episode but it wasn’t as great as earlier ones because you have to ignore character work and instead get the plot wheels spinning but you know, it was still good.  I still enjoyed myself.  I am not sure what they are doing next week but I am working off the assumption that it will be bananas.  Anyway, late in the episode as we got to focus on Cheryl it sort of hit me that man, Madelaine Petsch is just so hot.  Like, ridiculously so.  In their creepy nuevo-Gothic maple syrup mansion that really should have the sound of bats and like chains rattling or something played on a loop to really go for the aesthetic this family is going for, watching this and seeing Madelaine Petsch dressed in dark somber colors as she always is at home, I was like, Jesus, she’s so hot! Because she is.  So I am posting her today.  Today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.

Well, it turns out Kristen Bell hosted Jimmy Kimmel Live on Thursday and I had no idea until after it happened.  Big mistake, ABC, think about the ratings this cost you by not personally contacting me to let me know.  Your ratings would have gone up by at least one person.  Anyway, thank you for everyone who let me know, it’s good to know that so many people know about the deep, meaningful one way love between Kristen Bell and I.  Though special credit to @wildflagsure because she let me know first.  Like by 12 hours or something. Anyway, I would totally be down with a Kristen Bell talk show from here out because she is, as you might expect if you have ever seen her do anything ever, a complete and total delight.  Just a ball of charm and humor and I enjoyed it, it’s like she spent the entire episode making people happy and dreams come true.  She’s a special ray of sunshine into this dark world.  And yes, one day I am going to have her babies.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

I haven’t even watched last night’s Riverdale yet cause my DVR failed like a stupid jerk.  But, I am posting Camila Mendes cause a new photoshoot of her came out yesterday and holy fuck she is so hot.  Like, she is just smoking hot guys.  So it’s that simple, I am posting her because she’s hot.  Sorry I don’t have a more interesting discourse but just look at her.  Today I want to fuck Camila Mendes.

The Met Gala last night and I was excited but worried because the them this year is a tough one to wrap your head around.  Like, I get it but I am not a fashion expert.  I know, I know, you probably assume I am, especially if you’ve met me in real life but I am more just a fan with ideas.  Anyway, the best way to sum it up would be “weird”.  More accurately it is the collisions of different ideas, embracing contradiction and not always worrying if something is well fitting or even practical.  This felt like it could lead to some terrible stuff and well, it did but this is a good day because it has been hard to pick.  There were a lot of really, really good looks.  Now, some people seemed to bail on the theme which happens at every Met Gala.  This is always a shame because to me it’s akin to going to a Halloween party and just putting on a cat ears and underwear and going, “I’m a sexy cat”.  Yeah, you might look good but it’s lazy and this was a real chance to shine.  So you know, there were some very pretty but unexciting looks that are right out for me because if I just saw the dress it could have been any premier.  Of course, there are a few very traditional looks that still almost made the cut because they looked so good.  Looking good can trump a lot of things (which is why all the guys have such an unfair advantage.  Ad some interesting colors to your tux and suddenly you’re on theme and look fantastic.  It’s cheating really).  Of course, there were also some ones that just didn’t work because they were so strange but I am more forgiving than that.  Better than not trying at all.  Anyway, as I was saying, going in I was worried this year could be a let down but it was not.  I mean, not for me, I saw a lot of people leading up talking about how this year would finally prove fashion is art to nay sayers and well… those people are going to be so disappointed. Because that is never, ever going to happen.  There will always be philistines who loudly need to proclaim to the world that they lack taste or appreciation of art.  Trust me, it is never going to away.  I was at an art museum earlier this year and this guy was loudly claiming he could paint this or that because so many people cannot comprehend that there is a difference between art and craft and thus art is not judged based on how technically hard it is to make.  It’s not the scoring of the vert ramp at the X-games.  So that is never going away and if you’re really worried about your favorite art form being recognized by others stop.  It is just going to bring you frustration.  You have your opinions and as long as you can explain why you hold them then they are valid.  If you find you have strong opinions and have no idea why you have them maybe ask yourself why you have them and reexamine them but if you can explain why a piece of art matters to you then you’re good.  You should be confident, no one can take that away from you and some idiot not getting it is sad, but it shouldn’t rattle you.  Anyway, there were like 9 people I could have posted on a normal day but even trying to prune a little based on theme and interestingness I was left with a lot of people left.  5 total.  That’s a lot.  I am going with Priyanka Chopra after a lot of back and forth cause it was on theme and I kind of loved the trench coat look.  It’s a little safe I suppose but like as much as everyone loved Rihanna it was just too much for me.  So I am playing it a bit safe and if you liked something and I didn’t that’s cool.  We sorta just talked about that and it’s probably pretty valid since hers definitely was on theme.  Anyway, if you are curious I also considered Nicki Minaj, Blake Lively, Jessica Chastain, and Emma Roberts.  @femalecelebrityoftheday is going to be very disappointed in me cause I think he was banking on Jessica Chastain.  Sorry dude.  Anyway, I love the ridiculously long train (I mean, I did almost post Nicki) and the converted trench coat look was great and the collar and.. I liked it a lot.  Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.