Tag: blonde

So I was thinking about Chloe Moretz yesterday and today and I don’t really have a specific reason.  It isn’t like I can point to one thing so much as just she was on my mind.  I mean, she has shown up at a variety of things in recent weeks so maybe that’s why but I can’t identify what it was.  I was thinking about her though and how pretty she is and so here she is.  Last time I was a little harsh on her fashion choices and I got some criticism for that but also some support but it’s worth noting just how good she looks in photoshoots.  So here she is like that.  Today I want to fuck Chloe Moretz.

So I knew I might post Gigi Hadid today when I saw her yesterday at the Fashion Media Awards.  Now, my friend @thunderstormofoblivion is going to protest this because for some reason she claims she has dibs here.  Which is ridiculous because I expressly remember her messaging me telling me it was my fault she was so into Gigi Hadid because I kept posting and reblogging her so much. No really a leg for her to stand on but… well, I am not greedy, I am willing to share her.  I think there is enough to go around.  And I realize that could be misread because this is the internet but get your mind out of the gutter, I just mean there is no reason why we can’t both desire her and you know, let her choose if we ever meet her.  Anyway, pictures of the event are somehow not that plentiful yet so I had to go with not a lot to choose from, so I just said fuck it and grabbed other pictures of her around New York this past week and will tell myself it’s all Fashion Week related.  She has looked good either way.  Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

So today I got a message from @femalecelebrityoftheday about Chloe Moretz.  I can’t remember what it said because he’s Scottish which means no normal human can understand his accent, even through text on tumblr.  Anyway, the point was the pictures of her at an event were good and he was right.  So here she is because I did think she looked just very good.  It’s the top picture.  I am glad because the truth is I happen to really like Chloe Moretz but man some of the stuff she wears… I am just not a fan.  So I kinda just threw a bunch of recent outfits on this post to prove me right.  I am sure someone will disagree.  People love to be wrong.  The point is she looked fantastic last night and I quite like her.  So today I want to fuck Chloe Moretz.

So Kate Upton is going to be in the upcoming Galmour and she just looks fantastic in the shoot.  The only complaint I have seen at all is that she is wearing too much but you know…  she’s like half naked in a few of the pictures and it’s the October issue.  Bikinis don’t make sense there.  Anyway, because I love to tweak people here is Kate Upton wearing a lot of clothing.  I mean, I have some gifs of her in almost nothing and they are fantastic but today you don’t get that.  I don’t know why I have this urge to be obnoxious but I do.  It’s part of who I am.  It’s nice to have Kate back though.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is Candice Swanepoel who is pregnant at the moment.  Like I often do, I secretly slipped in a picture of her in such a state, see if you can figure out which on it is!  It’s a fun game.  Anyway, I bring this up because not too long ago I saw her basically have to say online that if you dislike pictures of pregnant women or you think women look gross when they are pregnant you are free to unfollow her.  Which seems pretty obvious to me, that you know, you’re welcome to your opinion so if for some reason the reproductive cycle bothers you why not avoid it?  But for some reason, a lot of people’s response I guess is to leave mean comments.  Which makes sense, since all social media is opt in, you have to follow her, clearly she’s a monster for making you do that and then continue to do so?  Look, I don’t get people who seem to think the world exists to cater to their whims.  It just confuses me.  Like, what was their childhood like because mine was basically lesson after lesson that no one gives two fucks about what I want, so I am just imaging spoiled kids in short pants with giant lollipops with mothers telling them no one came to their birthday party because they’re all so jealous.  Which is reductive, they probably aren’t all losers, some of them are probably quite popular assholes.  But it makes me feel better.  Anyway, that’s a side track, Candice happens to be pregnant but she’s just here because I saw that first picture of her and was like, hey she sure is beautiful.  That’s it.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Pigeon Foo who frankly, hasn’t shown up enough recently on this blog. I dunno why.  Other people have told me they find her intimidating.  Which I full get, do you have any idea how many people she has killed with her bare hands?  No?  Me either because once you get past about a dozen or so of anything the human mind can’t really conceive of something.  It’s like you just know it’s a lot, you can’t really picture 300 M&Ms and if you see a pile of them it could be 300 or 3000, your brain just is not good at that.  Same with the wake of grieving widows left behind in Pigeon Foo’s wake.  Like, sure she killed her sensei in a duel, we know that much but what else do we know?  So I get why people are intimidated of the 5 foot tall model who I once saw declare her workout routine to be “McDonald’s and Naps”.  Obviously she could reach right through tumblr and end you.  That said, she probably wouldn’t.  I have over the years asked her a staggering number of stupid questions, including once asking her if her fighting style was Foo Fu or Pigeon Fu, when obviously it’s Pigeon Fu.  What am, an idiot?  But she was very sweet because she is.  Lethal and sweet.  Just don’t be a dick.  Anyway, here she is which sent me on a no nipple quest as I am likely the only person on the planet clicking on thumbnails and going, “Dammit, nipple”.  Some of you give me crap about my no nudity rule but I don’t know how you see it but this blog is for the children.  I teach the children.  Thus only mostly dressed models who get naked.  Anyway, here is Pigeon Foo, who can be found on her blog here @pigeonfoo and here @pigeonfooperch.  Also, most of these pictures were taken by @h-o-l-l-o-w-2-5 and that’s worth following, too, but you know, not for the children.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

So the UK is going through some sort of heatwave from what I am picking up on internet chatter.  Not news sites of course, I mean, I’m not going to trust big weather and their pro weather agenda.  If they had their way we’d be lead to believe everything is weather and it’s always some “temperature” outside and clouds aren’t made of cotton balls and fairy dreams.  Anyway, I saw one person complain it’s gotten as hot as 30 C during this monstrous heatwave, or as we call it here in America where I live, cooler than it’s been since May.  I am tempted to make fun of Brits here but given I have British friends and quite care about some of them I’d rather not alienate them.  Besides, I realize if you are under 30 and live in the UK this could actually be the first time you’ve seen the sun and your instinct might be to throw rocks at it and try to kill it.  It’s scary, a world with colors other than gray.  Anyway, I hope you guys find a way to cool off.  I’d suggest Iced Tea but you guys love to mock Americans for that, so you know, don’t have a cool refreshing beverage during your “massive” heat wave.  Pixie Lott continues to be out and about in the heat these days and I do appreciate her doing a play so I get to see what she wears every day.  And yeah, I have noticed a lot of shorts, again because of the heatwave.  This is great because I love the variety of outfits.  So she’s here because I keep thinking about posting her because most days i get shots of her arriving and shots of her leaving.  I am pro these things.  Also, pun about her being hot and the heatwave.  Make your own, it’s participatory.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

Friday afternoon I discovered rhythmic gymnastics (my friend @wildflagsure claims it’s her favorite event but she never mentioned it to me so probably trying to ride my coattails here.  I discovered it).  Yeah, I discovered it.  I put a flag down and claimed it for America.  I’m the Columbus of the Olympics. Obviously I knew it was a thing and I feel like I must have seen it but maybe I only saw it in like… my old roommates anime and that shit drove me to irrational anger because anime does that.  Bullying makes no sense until someone is chortling at some kid getting a bloody nose because he saw panties.  Then every fiber of my being wants to give swirlies until someone drowns.  Anyway, I feel like I have never really watched it because I watched it and it is staggeringly beautiful.  Just amazing what a human body can do, not just athletic difficulty but to move so fluidly and gracefully.  I would not believe it possible had I not seen it.  Now, I don’t much care for judged sports.  I never trust something that requires judges and I don’t think I care for not being able to know if the judges are right or not.  Other sports I watch only every 4 years, it’s pretty simple. Handball, Field Hockey, et al. if the ball goes in the goal, they scored, the team that does that more wins.  I am missing many of the nuances but I don’t have to wonder who really won.  I watch this and except for the time a girl dropped the ball (which I hated, she looked like she wanted to die.  I hate that with judged sports, too, they require a level of perfection that makes a mistake, something much more recoverable in say, basketball or something, crushing and you get to see a person’s dreams die before you as the camera focuses on them just sitting there looking either numb or ready to die) I have no idea who was better than someone else.  They were all amazing.  I would have given them all 10’s, again having no idea what the highest score is, I would have just given 10’s across the board, even for the girl who dropped the ball because shit, I drop the mustard bottle making a sandwich at least once a week.  Can you imagine if someone ran into my kitchen and slapped my sandwich out of my hand and told me I don’t get to eat for 4 years and then I’ll probably be too old so how about I go fuck myself?  No, she gets a 10 as well. Anyway, this is only a little bit about how I want to turn medals into participation ribbons when I feel bad for people, it’s mainly about national security. Yana Kudryavtseva took the silver and given she is an absolutely beautiful Russian Olympian I have to assume she is a spy set on bringing down democracy and making us live on a steady diet of government cheese and vodka.  And here’s the thing guys, I am worried about.  I mean, obviously as an expert, I owned Live and Let Die and For Your Eyes Only on VHS as a kid and have seen each one like 20 times at least, I understand the advantage of say a long jumper like Darya Klishina to the spy game.  I assume our secret bases are loaded with chasms with swinging blades and stuff and she has to jump across them to turn off the switch and let the other communists across to steal our freedom.  I get that but it’s also very counterable, just make the chasms wider or put like spikes on the other side or something.  Threat thwarted!  But this stuff?  I couldn’t take my eyes off the Rhythmic Gymnastics and she’s the second best in the world at it?  Just give her a hula hoop and we’re doomed.  She can just do her routine in front of a bunch guards and Ivan Stealavich and Natasha Communisinski can just waltz in and take whatever and we’ll never notice because we’ll just be enraptured.  I can’t think of a way to counter it so probably the only option is for some amazingly charming westerner to sleep with her so she’ll see the error of her ways.  It works a lot.  Or after she’ll try to kill said Westerner.  One of the two, either way because I am basically a hero.  I am volunteering for the sake of humanity.  Today I want to fuck Yana Kudryavtseva.

Here’s Alexis Ren cause she sure is pretty, right?  I am not sure why she was on my mind other than having a day planned outside and it’s going to be hot so man, being at the pool or the beach would be nice.  But I am not going to be.  She gets to be.  In these pictures at least.  It looks pleasant.  She is very pretty.  I really don’t have a lot more to say than that.  Today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

This is Darya Klishina who, until proven otherwise, I am just going to assume is a spy out to bring down Western Civilization.  The Cold War is back for this Olympics and I couldn’t be more excited.  It’s just nice to have a villain and this time without all the (ok, as much) repression of people in Eastern Europe by their corrupt governments.  I can’t pinpoint the exact point it happened but I just know at some point Vladimir Putin wanted Moose and Squirrel so badly that he put the full weight of his corrupt plutocratic kleptocracy behind injecting his athletes with whatever they had lying around in syringes in mothballed KGB secret super soldier facilities.  The result is that a lot of people, especially Americans took umbrage with this because as an American I can tell you we believe in the individual versus the collective.  It’s the basic divide between Eastern and Western philosophy. So basically, as Americans, we feel like if you’re going to cheat you should cheat for yourself.  This thing where there is state sponsored cheating, that’s no good.  You should win on the merits of your own cheating because that’s what the Olympics is about.  Anyway, the result is the entire Russian Track and Field team was banned from the Olympics except for Darya here.  And then before the weekend they decided she was banned because a urine sample of hers from a few years ago had suspicious scratch marks.  Then yesterday she was reinstated by the appeals process.  She jumps tonight.  Long jump, sorry, if you don’t know.  I happen to find her quite attractive in that way I find pure evil attractive.  Now, she may be a very nice person but again, I can only assume at some point tonight she will complete a jump that will put a competitor in a coma, at which point she will comment, “If she dies she dies”.  Because I saw a documentary about boxing in the 80’s and that’s what Russians say.  Anyway, she is very hot and I am glad she is getting to compete cause like… the cheating stuff kinda sucks, I am tired of not being sure if I can trust my sports, but it would really suck to be yanked off the Olympics at the 11th hour.  Even if she is pure, red evil.  Today I want to fuck Darya Klishina.