Tag: blonde

I knew by yesterday afternoon that I was probably going to post Blake Lively today.  She was at the Michael Kors show the other day and when I saw pictures of what she wore I was blown away.  Like I immediately went and messaged my friend @thunderstormofoblivion because I knew she’d agree on account of her medical condition, which is having eyeballs.  It was a good reminder that when Blake Lively wants to she can completely blow my mind.  She has been at various things in New York for the past couple of weeks, sort of circling around Fashion Week and Deadpool stuff.  Anyway, here are a bunch of pictures of her, including the Michael Kors dress and they are mainly of her outside walking to stuff because she has the amazing ability to look like she’s in the middle of a fashion shoot while walking to the car or whatever.  Her entire life is like some sort of glamor shoot.  It’s a little ridiculous.  I guess that comes from being preternaturally beautiful.  Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

Here is my long time tumblr buddy @pigeonfoo who hasn’t shown up here in a long time for reasons I can only describe as, “me being a fucking idiot”.  Really it’s inexcusable because she is undeniably awesome and an American hero.  As someone who has followed her since we both were tiny blogs with just a couple hundred followers I know a surprising number of FooFacts.  Like not everyone knows this but um… shit, I used to be better at uh… remembering these important facts.  One time she lassoed a twister and took it for a ride  Because she could. Or to save like… a hospital full of children and nuns.  Actually, that sounds like a reason she would legitimately do that.  I know everyone knows one time she fought a bear and that’s impressive and all but did you know she one time beat a bear riding yakuza?  Not in a fight but at poker.  While scoring the winning basket in a charity basketball game to save an orphanage that again, I assume was full of nuns.  But besides all the times she’s done things like punch Hitler she is just kind of a remarkable person.  She is funny and smart and as an independent model working hard to make a living and see the business ventures she is a part of thrive she is an incredibly hard worker and that’s praise worthy.  Also, she’s pretty.  Just if I forgot to mention that.  Did I forget to?  Sometimes you get so caught up in the secret underground martial arts tournaments she has fought in you just forget to mention the obvious.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

I was going to post someone else today but there Candice Swanepoel goes, trying to get my attention again.  It’s pretty blatant at this point.  I mean, dressing as a super hero is kind of the most obvious way to try and get me to notice you.  I am willing to admit that some people, if they work at it, could argue in the past that my claims that Candice Swanepoel is very clearly trying to seduce me have other explanations.  Like, the reasons I keep getting pictures of her in her underwear in the mail is because she “works for a large international clothing company” and her entire job is to “model their clothing including underwear” and their business model has long included “mail order products that include catalog sales” (I wish you guys could see the bitching air quotes I am making with my fingers each time).  Sure, I guess if someone wants to delude themselves they could convince themselves of those things.  But Spider-Gwen?  Come on. Mixing Superheroes and fashion?  Marvel comics superheroes at that?  I mean… it’s pretty blatant.  You’d have to be some sort of lunatic who doesn’t think the world revolves around me to miss how obvious this is.  Pretty tricky, Candy, pretty tricky.  Well, it worked for today.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

I uploaded the pictures for this post at 6 AM and then saved it as a draft because I suddenly got really tired and decided it was time for bed.  So the post is rather late today because I am a mess of an adult.  I woke up at 2 AM and was up until close to 7 and… it’s a mess.  But I did manage to catch up on TV in that time frame and when I got to iZombie I knew someone from the show was getting posted because the episode just worked for me.  When I heard Kristen Bell’s voice I knew it was her because first of all I love Kristen Bell.  Second of all I love Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas together.  Third of all I love Kristen Bell and one day I am going to have her babies.  You’ll see!  So any excuse to post Kristen Bell is a good one and here she is.  Because she’s amazing.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

I have almost posted Natalie Dormer for the past couple of days.  Like, I keep finding myself thinking about her when I get up but then by the time the day gets going I have forgotten and it isn’t until the next day that I remember that oh yeah, I keep thinking about Natalie Dormer.  I don’t have a particular reason I can think of for her to keep popping up.  I haven’t seen a movie or a show or anything with her in it recently.  So I guess a non particular reason would be that she is very sexy.  That seems like a reason.  So when I saw her show up in pictures from a Zoolander screening I knew I was posting her.  I also really liked her dress.  Not because of the plunging neckline, though, I should point out I am not opposed to plunging necklines, but just the feel of it.  I think black works well for her and something about the cut and styling was vaguely sinister.  I think vaguely sinister works well with Natalie Dormer.  I don’t think she is a sinister person, I just think her sort of crooked smile where she might be up to something pairs well with potential secret Sith Lord or something.  My brain is a strange place.  I liked the dress.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

Scarlett Johansson has come up a lot recently in the periphery of my life.  Now there are two ways to look at this, either it’s because she is one of the biggest movie stars in the world and thus pop culture will dictate that if you are connected to the world around you that Scarlett Johansson will probably get mentioned, or show up in something, or get reblogged on tumblr or whatever.  Especially when she is in a movie that is set to be released this week.  Or you can take it as a sign.  I will leave it up to you to decide, I am not tell you what to think, so if you want to believe in signs I won’t stop you.  I’ll quietly mock you but I won’t stop you.  Anyway, Hail Caesar is headed out this week and it is seems to be one of those made for me movies.  The Cohen are among my favorite if not favorite directors working, it’s about old Hollywood, Scarlett Johansson will wear clothing from the 1950’s.  These are all things I love.  So today someone was just talking about her in a conversation I was not part of (what I heard was, “What was that black and white movie with Scarlett Johansson and Billy Bob Thornburg”.  I didn’t correct anyone) it was enough to get my brain obsessing about her.  And how beautiful she is.  It’s been 15 years now that I have been crushing on Scarlett Johansson, which is a really long time.  But she is so pretty.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Here is Pixie Lott because today is my friend Katherine’s Birthday. You may not get that connection but you’re not me.  Or Katherine.  So let’s not go around trying to make everything about you, ok?  It’s her birthday not yours.  Unless it’s also your birthday then uh.. happy birthday but this still isn’t about you.  Anyway, Pixie Lott always makes me think of her because she is the reason I know Pixie Lott exists.  Also just because blonde, English and uh.. I dunno, she just does.  Friends are important.  We are lucky to have them, I am lucky to have a friend like Katherine so I want to wish her happy birthday and in her honor I am posting Pixie Lott.  Because I am just a giver.  That’s right, I am willing to lust after the incredibly attractive blonde pop star because I am such a good person.  I’ll come out and say it, I’m basically the Ghandi of being willing to sleep with celebrities.  Happy Birthday, Katherine.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

In a weird bit of coincidence I was talking about Silje Norendal yesterday.  For some reason she just came up in conversation with @she-goes-to-eleven  who I was certain wouldn’t have heard of her and had not but her reaction was like mine initially which was, “Wow, that girl is beautiful”.  It was a fun little trip down memory lane but is not why Silje Norendal is here today.  No, she is here because I remembered in the back of my mind the X Games were starting soon so I said, “Oh, I should see when they start”.  Well, they started yesterday.  So I said, “Well, let’s see what’s on”.  So I turn it on and get to see the very first competitor starting her run for the Women’s Slopestyle finals.  Which means Silje Norendal was minutes away from my screen.  Now, when I started this post, I didn’t know who was going to win because it was just starting.  It just is that hard to find pictures of athletes, honestly.  It isn’t like there is nothing of her but she doesn’t exactly show up on the red carpet.  Spoilers, she didn’t make it to the podium.  I had high hopes with her final run but it just didn’t happen. I am still blown away though, she won gold the three previous years and the truth is being among the best in the world at something you do is mind blowing.  Just mind blowing.  The things she can do on a snowboard take my breath away.  Then I see her face and that has the same effect.  It’s honestly mind blowing to me the combination of talent and beauty.  So she is here.  Because she is amazing.  Today I want to fuck Silje Norendal.

I watched the latest Mad Max and to be honest I was expecting to post Charlize Theron but watching it I found myself wondering who the pregnant woman was because she was beautiful.  Well, duh, it was Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who is yes, known for being beautiful.  I know lots of people have found her so and obviously there are much bigger fans of her than me, given I didn’t recognize her.  Unfortunately that’s the thing with models, some catch you some don’t and the ones that don’t kind of fade into a blur of largely blond white women.  So like, if you asked me who Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is I could tell you all about Victoria’s Secret and stuff but apparently you put her in a post apocalyptic future and I can’t pick her out of a truck full of female sex slaves.  Which, by the way, I dug the movie and while I already knew MRAs were ridiculous the fact that they were up in arms about this is extra ridiculous.  I mean, basically they are claiming it’s feminist propaganda because it’s… anti slavery by despotic rulers?  Does that mean MRAs are pro slavery and anti-democracy?  Cause… that’s kinda the only conclusion I can come to.  Whoops, guys, you’re sad, sad, juvenile rage at the fact that you can’t get every single thing you want in life exactly when and how you want it is showing.  Anyway, the movie was good (good is an understatement.  The last half and hour is among the best things I have ever seen in an action movie.  Go see it if you haven’t), Rosie was very attractive and so she is here.  Today I want to fuck Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Today is a snow day guys and I am so damn excited.  Now, I realize there are people who don’t like the snow.  That’s fine, everyone is different.  For example in this case I am right and you are wrong.  It’s how we’re different.  Differences are what make the world beautiful so you be the joyless, soulless creature you are while I go out and make snowmen.  I am going to make so many damn snowmen you guys.  I already have my boots and hats and gloves and scarf laid out by the front door.  I just need more snow.  And to decide between my superman hat and my Washington Capitals hat. I want the other kids to think my hat is cool.  Anyway, Natalie Dormer is here but I can’t think of any snow related reason.  I tried, trust me, the best I could get what the air of coolness that surrounds her.  Natalie Dormer is cool.  It’s a reach though.  What it did have me realize though is I think Natalie Dormer should be the new Han Solo.  Now, I know it’s a bit of a reach and all but just google Natalie Dormer smiling and you’ll see she possesses a lot of innate Han Soloness.  Or you know, just have her be his kid.  I mean I know he has a kid but let’s be honest, the dude flies around the galaxy from place to place and it was recently revealed there wasn’t even a kitchen in the Millennium Falcon until he got married.  I want to point out that means for years he and Chewie were flying around and living off of basically gas station food and drive thru fair.  You know he’s the kind of guy who would hook up with a girl and then maybe see if she could do his laundry or something before he left.  I mean, Chewie crashing on the couch, her wondering what she was thinking the next day.  I can see it.  There has to be one or two little Solos he doesn’t know about.  None of that is what is important though, what is important is it is snowing and I think Natalie Dormer is ridiculously cool and sexy.  So today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.