Tag: blonde

So yesterday it was pretty clear that I was supposed to post Scarlett Johansson.  I mean she looked amazing on the red carpet in Venice and everyone knows how much I like her and then of course in swept a crafty Brazilian Lesbian to distract me with a whole other Scarlett, as they are want to do (yes, I am for some reason trying to create a stereotype that Brazilian Lesbians are crafty little pixies who swoop in and show people attractive women to distract them.  Why?  I’m bored and it kind of makes me laugh).  It was even commented on that someone was surprised that I didn’t post Scarlett Johansson.  Well… problem solved or whatever.  Apparently she’s engaged.  I never know what the reaction to these things should be.  I know some people are excited for them, some seem upset.  I guess I get both, but I am not going to beat my fists against the Earth and scream to the heavens because I missed out on my chance.  That would be silly.  I mean, she might have an open relationship, right?  And excited… I guess I am glad for her but it changes very little about my life or my lust for her.  And I do lust for her because she’s pretty amazing.  So congrats to her I guess and congrats to fans of hot people for how she looked recently, you guys won big.  As for me, today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Gillian Jacobs has shown up here before but never by herself.  That seems like an oversight but also appropriate because I feel like her comedic abilities are often overlooked.  Obviously I know her from Community and she is not the break out character or star or whatever.  No one talks about Britta as much as Troy and Abed or makes gifs of her boobs like Alison Brie.  But she is really funny, consistently so, and as a character who would frankly be unlikeable in a lot of other actresses hands.  So I guess that’s why I have overlooked her before, she tends to be overlooked.  She shouldn’t be, she is great and she is pretty and today I want to fuck Gillian Jacobs.

Scarlett Johansson is one of my favorites.  Like I am not good with favorites because they feel restraining.  If you ask me what my favorite ice cream is I could never answer, it feels too restraining, I can only tell you what ice cream I would want right at this moment.  Same with songs.  Or movies.  Or books.  Or… whatever pretty much anything.  But there are some constants and Scarlett Johansson has been one for over a decade now.  It’s obvious why, she’s gorgeous, she’s talented, she’s likable.  It’s not like I am all alone on this one.  But at the same time she hasn’t shown up here in a while.  And there was a large gap before that time and so on because… she doesn’t show up in my life that often.  I feel cheated by this.  I don’t know what the solution is.  Maybe she could get a weekly TV show?  I would be down with that.  I wonder if she’d be willing to do that just to indulge me.  I don’t think that’s how the world works but i’ll look into it. Anyway, today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

So other people get dreams.  I mean I get dreams, too, but mine often skew towards nightmares.  I have friends who get sex dreams about celebrities.  Or even just pleasant dreams.  I rarely do.  More often if a celebrity is in my dream it is a whole insecure, wasted opportunity moment because apparently my sub conscious’ greatest desire is to disappoint me.  Last night Kate Upton showed up in my dream, I ran into her at some music festival, she was pretty, she was nice, an I wandered off with my friends because I couldn’t think of what to say and I wanted to use a water slide.  Yeah, I don’t know.  The point is then the dream slipped into being about Rachel McAdams as she talked about how she used to work at McDonald’s and how she was very bad at it and eventually they made her a greeter.  I woke up and my thought was, “Did she really work at McDonald’s?"  A quick Google says yes.  It is amazing the things I know somewhere in my head about celebrities, I think I absorb it through osmosis.  Because if you asked me what i knew I would mention Mean Girls and the Notebook and that I think she is pleasant and funny when I have seen her but most of the movies she makes are movies I don’t watch.  Except apparently i knew she worked at McDonalds.  Which is sort of why she’s here, because I had a dream that was honestly not at all exciting. So the dream became Googling which brought up pictures and she’s pretty and… today I want to fuck Rachel McAdams. 

I almost didn’t want to post Kate Upton today cause I have this thing in my mind where people are getting sick of it.  Or like i am pressuring them to like Kate Upton or something.  This is because like most people I think the world revolves around me and I don’t realize most people don’t relate their experiences in life to what I am doing and what I want.  Of course that line of reasoning is ridiculous because it would also imply Kate Upton and I don’t have a special bond and clearly we do because as I was typing the beginning of this paragraph the Platters came on with “Only You” on the Motown station on Spottify.  And what are the chances of that, I mean, they weren’t even on Motown, they were on Mercury Records.  Of course, now Marvin Gaye is singing “Heard it Through the Grapevine” but that’s just a coincidence, the songs that are a sign are the ones I want to be a sign.  It’s how delusion works.  Anyway, I know I post her a lot.  Too much. Don’t feel pressure, in the end this blog is about me and my desires in the moment and I like Kate Upton a lot.  And for some reason she popped in my head this morning and wouldn’t dislodge.  It’s cool, I am fine with her being there.  Anyway, now Rick James is singing Super Freak and today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I can’t say I ever thought I would be posting AnnaSophia Robb.  Mainly because in my mind she was the cute little girl in Bridge to Terabithia, not like and adult sexual being.  And… actually, can we take a break a second?  If you didn’t read Bridge to Terabithia as a kid it is worth reading, it is a genuine and lovely book for kids that is in a mold that they made in the 70’s but they don’t today.  I mean, I don’t want to knock the hunger games or whatever stuff is out there now but… it was awesome.  If you ddi read it watch the movie, it’s quite faithful and yes, you’ll cry.  Anyway, that is why I know AnnaSophia Robb but of course now she is on a CW show which means she is shown in a totally different light and there are a lot of pictures of her and I noticed one recently and part of her looked good and I am being vague because for some reason I don’t really want to say it’s her butt but ok it’s her butt, her butt is what looked good and this is a long sentence now so let’s end it.  So it was her butt.  I included a picture from said set.  I don’t consider myself a butt person but I appreciate them sometimes.  And… well, she’s cute so today I want to fuck AnnaSophia Robb.

Here are a bunch of pictures of Candice Swanepoel in bikinis because it is remarkably easy to find pictures of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini.  She always looks really good in them, too.  I mean it’s her job.  And I don’t mean that as a joke, it literally is a major part of her job, looking good in bikinis.  I don’t think I am as big on bikinis (or underwear, same coverage) as a lot of people are, like it isn’t the ideal in my mind but she does it so well.  And well, I can appreciate it sometimes. Why am I justifying this?  I have no clue.  Anyway, today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Holy crap, it has been like forever since Amber Heard has been here.  She showed up at Thanksgiving but otherwise it has been almost a friggin year, which is crazy because I really love Amber Heard!  For the first six months of this blog she was one of the most common selections!  But it just isn’t my fault, she hasn’t been in anything.  I mean I dig her but no movies, no TV and that seems to have lead to no magazines, not photo shoots… All I have seen are pictures of her shopping or getting in her car and sometimes those are ok but overall I don’t tend to dig that kind of thing.  She has a really awesome car but… they just aren’t for me, they feel intrusive and people usually don’t look their best.  So she just hasn’t popped up as much, which is a crime because she is so, so hot.  I mean, seriously, look at her!  Anyway, there isn’t much more for me to say except that I hope she hasn’t felt left out.  Because she loves guns.  And she drives fast cars.  I don’t want her coming after me, I can’t get away!  Ok, well… maybe I want her coming after me, that’s kind of hot.  I’m torn.  Today I want to fuck Amber Heard.

Billie Piper is kind of odd because I am not really always sure if I am attracted to her.  It is a strange way to start an entry I know.  When she was on Doctor Who there were times she looked pretty but if you had asked me usually I would have said she didn’t do it for me.  And I think I’d still say that. Looking for pictures just now I started to get bored and almost closed this.  Except I am watching Secret Diary of a Call Girl so I didn’t.  Because it occurred to me that I really like Billie Piper.  I mean, I’m not watching a sex scene or something, she’s in sweats and talking at the camera.  This isn’t about her dressing provocatively, it’s just like when she was Rose, I may not have had lascivious thoughts about her but I felt real affection for her.  And I am not saying she isn’t pretty.  I’m not stupid, I get that everything is in the right place and she passes the blonde and British test.  Just… sometimes people don’t do it for you.  Except when they do.  I almost think it’s better or… I don’t know, more special when I realize my attraction to someone is less physical and more emotional.  I mean, it’s all bullshit, I know but I am ok with realizing my attraction to Billie Piper is because she is pleasant and charming and just really likeable.  I guess what I am saying is it’s not because sometimes she shows up topless, it’s because I like her that today I want to fuck Billie Piper.

So I was thinking about Superman and that’s why Supergirl is here today.  I like Superman a lot for a lot of reasons but mostly for iconic ones.  The whole icon thing is also why I like Supergirl but it ends up different.  Superman to me has always been fascinating as an inspiration, he gives humanity something to strive for.  I don’t mean the powers, I mean the decisions.  He’s a guy with all the power in the world, he could literally do anything, he helps people.  It’s a model of life to strive for.  Supergirl on the other hand has always been stuck in Superman’s shadow, on and off the page.  Now the quality of her comics over the years have been all over the map but what I love about her is that while Superman is what we can become she is what we are.  She is powerful, she is capable, and yet she messes up.  She is compared to Superman and seen wanting.  It isn’t her fault, she just isn’t there yet.  She is someone who tries and who stumbles and represents potential that hasn’t been met yet but is on it’s way. At least, sometimes.  I don’t read the New 52 stuff so I can’t speak to it.  What I am saying is I like Kara, she’s pretty cool when done right, she’s a searcher and I like that.  And today I want to fuck Supergirl.