How about some Zoey Deutch today. Why? No clue, just feels right. I am feeling better than yesterday but still really tied and there just isn’t a lot going on right now. I mean in the sense of pictures of celebrities and so on. So this felt right and I am going with it. Today I want to fuck Zoey Deutch.
So this post is coming pretty late in the day, I hope I didn’t worry anyone (I joke. No one noticed. Ok, one person noticed. @femalecelebrityoftheday did probably but that’s it). Sorry, I have come down with a cold or something and on top of that I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep until it was actually time to go to work so I have been uh… on low ebb we’ll say all day. And miserable. Honestly, this blog is hard to do when I am sick, not because it’s so much work but because my brain isn’t really sitting around going, “Hey, who is like, really hot? Let’s think about hot girls”. Instead, because I am a big baby, it is going, “Oh god, this is the worst anyone has ever felt. You’re probably dying. Sure it seems like a cold but were you this tired last time? If you were I’m not going to let you remember because I’m your brain, I am instead going to convince you your symptoms are vague yet severe and that you are secretly dying”. Now, in most social circles I keep that to myself and I say, “it’s just a cold”. In part because I don’t want anyone to know what a baby I am but really more so at my funeral people will talk about how brave I was, how I didn’t let on because I didn’t want people to worry that I was dying of the plague. So this makes choosing a celebrity a bit of a chore but luckily here is Lea Michele to the rescue who has been posting pictures on social media for a couple of weeks now that lead me to believe she has hired a full time photographer to take pictures of her just for social media. They are way too nice to be anything but planned. All of these pics are things she has posted. They have reminded me that yes, I am attracted to Lea Michele. So here she is, making my job easy today. Today I want to fuck Lea Michele.
Nicki Minaj hosted her own New Years Eve party in Miami and there were like… two pictures and so I was waiting for more but they haven’t shown up. And I am tired of waiting. I can wish that there were more and that more people apparently wanted pictures of her but it seems like maybe I could wish bigger than that if I am blowing wishes, right? Like, can you imagine if I made a wish it came true and I was like, “I wish I had more pictures of Nicki Minaj”. It would be nice sure but it might tweak me a little bit that I could have wished for a pony instead and didn’t. Anyway, I thought she looked good because I often do. And I actually like Nicki Minaj more than a pony. Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.
Happy New Years, guys. I didn’t drink but I still basically feel like I am hung over. This is likely because I am old and people were setting off fireworks at like 4 AM. And part of me wants to be like, yo, what were you celebrating? You’re 4 hours late and I can’t think of anywhere of significance that is 4 hours behind the East Coast. You were celebrating New Years for the Ocean? Really? Anyway, we’re going to start the year with some Tove Lo cause… I can. Like 4 people put pictures of her across my dash today and I am nothing if not easily influenced, so here she is. Today I want to fuck Tove Lo.
So Danielle Panabaker was in some magazine called Vulkan and I don’t know what that is but she looked good and we don’t usually get a lot of… well anything between the holidays so it was nice to have something new. It’s also a nice excuse to post her cause I like her more than I have posted. Which is once before. I like her more than 1. I am not sure what the scale is but she ranks above that. Anyway, she’ll close out 2016 and good for her and good for us. She’s on the Flash and maybe that’s appropriate, 2016 was a monster for a lot of people and we’re all hungry for a little justice. I have thoughts about nostalgia and superheroes and turmoil and they aren’t all positive and maybe I’ll write them down at some point but the part that we can take away from it is that doing the right thing is of value. We should fight for what’s right. There’s a whole new year of challenges ahead of us, let’s face it bravely. Today I want to fuck Danielle Panabaker.
I wasn’t sure what to do today but I have thoughts and I need to share them so I will. Carrie Fisher was remarkable for a lot of reasons and very few of them had to do with Star Wars. I wrote some about it here when I posted her years ago but it’s more than that. I know this year has not been great in a lot of ways but part of the reason this stings is because it is a woman who really didn’t come into her own until much later in life, until after the point most people would consider her peak. If you have never read one of Carrie Fisher’s books I would recommend it but read her stories or not, her story is important. Carrie Fisher very well could have been dead long before I was able to differentiate between Princess Leia and Carrie Fisher. There are lots of reasons for this, the pressures of growing up in an anything but normal household, of oppressive fame and the weight of expectations, of undiagnosed mental illnesses, of heavy drug use that was no doubt self medicating to fix all of that. The world can be hard and unforgiving, even for royalty, be it space royalty or Hollywood royalty. It can crush us and not everyone makes it through. There is no shame in that. But there is pride in fighting back and dragging yourself out. Which she did. Carrie Fisher saved her own life through grit, determination, her intelligence and her will. She could have been a Hollywood cautionary tale or maybe even worse a living punchline but she refused to be. Even though throughout the early 90’s it sure felt like people wanted to force her into the latter category she refused to let them with her wit and smarts she became an in demand script doctor and a writer and refused to let the world around her define her, she defined herself with her own pen. And of late it seems like most of the world woke up to what a acerbic delight she was, more clever and more canny than most people knew how to deal with. So it’s a tragedy she left so early when circumstances made us wait so long. She drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. She will be greatly missed. Today I want to fuck Carrie Fisher.
I was going to post Kelly Brook today because I had a dream and you know… it was all stupid. It’s all stupid. I heard about Carrie Fisher as I was writing this and nothing felt right about it. I am not happy about it. It’s horrible. I have lots of thoughts on it but I don’t feel like writing anything so this is all you guys get today. Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.
I hope everyone had a good Christmas and I hope my readers in the UK and Canada and elsewhere are having a pleasant Boxing Day. We don’t have that here. It’s always seemed like an odd addition to the Christmas season to me but I don’t want to judge anyone certainly, so I will just wish you luck. Remember to keep your hands up, most particularly on your right side, more people fall to a good left hook than anything else so they are probably going to try and set that up. And don’t forget your footwork, if you’re flat footed you’ve already lost. But you probably know this, you guys do Boxing Day every year, but good luck. Anyway, it is expectedly a slow day in the world of celebrities because people are, you know, probably home drinking hot chocolate and in other countries engaging in festive yuletide pugilism. But my friend @thunderstormofoblivion reblogged some Zoey Deutch from me this morning and astutely pointed out that she looks quite good. I tend to agree and often think so but she has a habit of losing out to someone else. Often because she ends up at events with a lot of people and.. I dunno. Because. It’s a mistake. I am correcting it now because she’s gorgeous and should be here more often. Today I want to fuck Zoey Deutch.
Here is some Doutzen Kroes to spread some Holiday cheer for all of you. Given my Holiday has started I am busy as some sort of busy thing. So I will just leave this here and say I hope you guys have a very Merry Christmas and today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.
So I watched Black Christmas last night. Not the one with Mary Elizabeth Winstead but the good one, from the 1970’s. It did make me think about the new one though, which is wrong headed in so many ways but I remember so looking forward to it. After all, it had all these actresses I loved and it was a remake of a classic and so I just assumed it would be good. I mean, it was almost like an all-star cast of horror actresses as far as those things go. I mean, I was excited about Katie Cassidy and MEW and Michelle Trachtenberg and so on. Anyway, it wasn’t good. It was very bad. It has it’s defenders now but those people are wrong. And this happens. I get it, the holidays can be disappointing in a lot of ways for a lot of people. I know, I watched Gremlins this week, too, I listened and heard Phobe Cates’ speech. I hope none of your dads die in a chimney but regardless I know it can be hard. I also know that Christmas has given us some amazing moments. Be it from Christmas movies like this (and you either remember that well or are too young to remember when that was one of the biggest early youtube viral hits) and it gives us truly magical moments like this (which you know, feels apt even 70 years later). And you know, whatever this season brings be strong, because even when things go wrong George Baily has shown us no man is poor who is rich in love. Especially not one who shows his love to his fellow man. Keep that in mind this season, even if it gets you down it’s just a good chance to show love to your fellow man. Also, MEW is here because she’s really pretty. Just gorgeous. Today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Who I want to Fuck Today 