Tag: Model

I don’t really know a lot about Emily Ratajkowski.  Hell, I don’t even really know how to say her last name.  All I know is that she has been trying to get my attention lately because I have seriously seen her multiple times a day in just wonderful pictures.  On my dash, on gossip blogs, in a text someone sent me, on a poster.  So I assume she’s trying to seduce me or something.  Yeah, my delusions have gone that far.  And I am here to say she’s succeeded so anytime you want to contact me I am down.  Just saying, it worked, send me an ask, we’ll figure something out.  I’ve clearly lost my mind.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Barbara Palvin.  Again.  I know she just appeared the other day.  It’s my blog dammit, you’ll just have to deal with it!  Or… don’t.  You know, no one has ever complained about that, I get like… preemptively defensive.  I am imagining people complaining?  I’m not hearing voices or anything… I’m just a little paranoid.  Because people have complained about too much Kate Upton.  I am not sure how you can get too much of a beauty like this though, look at her, she adorable and gorgeous.  And I just wrote about her two days ago.  So like… I have no new words really.  She is very pretty, I am liking her more and more as time goes on.  And today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

This is the most gif heavy post I have ever done.  Ever ever.  I think it is because this whole post was inspired by this video.  It was submitted to me here just a few days ago and it’s pretty epic.  First of all, I highly encourage submits like this.  Second of all it is a great video.  I actually thought it meant I would be posting Barbara the next day.  But I didn’t.  And I almost forgot about it expect I just showed it to someone and watched it again in doing so and… oh shit, this video is amazing.  Barbara Palvin is amazing!  And it reminds me of when I originally posted her.  One of her super fans described to me that she was so impressed how easily Barbara went from adorable and innocent to sultry and sex at the drop of the dime.  It was very accurate and the gifs are here to show how she does both.  When she looks sexy it is amazing but I think I appreciate her being goofy and cute even more.  And the two together?  Mind blown.   So she’s here because I like how she moves and I don’t mean that in an entirely sexual way, there is a charisma to her that is just compelling.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

I think Kelly Brook is here because sometimes you just really want a British girl.  That’s a thing, right?  Other people get that?  Am I wrong?  Is it just me?  Like you’re like, man, fish and chips sure would hit the spot but like… a sexual fish and chips?  Ok, wait, I have never thought that either and now it just sounds kind of gross.  We’ll drop that.  What I am saying is clearly I have a thing for British girls and sometimes they are on my mind, or even a special one, or like… I just start rambling.  I am doing that a lot lately.  I am going to blame Kelly Brook because look at her!  It’s pretty hard to concentrate when she looks so good.  Oh Christ, did I just claim Kelly Brook is so pretty I can’t help myself?  Next I am going to follow by saying she was asking me to ramble what with those heels she’s wearing.  There is something wrong with my brain.  I think I have a fever.  I have a fever and the only cure is more British Boobs. So today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

So here is Doutzen Kroes.  She is here because she’s pretty.  It’s probably pretty lucky she’s pretty because it is an important part of being a model.  There is other stuff but it seems to be a core part of the skill set.  I wish I had more to say, I should, she seems cool, she likes soccer, um… I like her accent?  Look, I don’t have much today, she’s just a gorgeous women and sometimes that is enough.  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

So last time I posted Kato it turned out to be, you know, incredibly successful, well by this blogs standards.  Most popular post of all time.  I was surprised.  Also, got a few snide comments as a result.  Also surprised, they happen sometimes but… I guess more popular and there will be more negativity, right?  Mainly it was about if she had real breasts or not. Just a couple of things, talking about how someone looks fake or not what a real woman looks like is insulting.  She’s got two X Chromosomes (I assume) then she is indeed a real woman.  The only person you should throw the not real thing at is Pinocchio’s sister and even then you’re kind of a dick.  Secondly, I had this long thing in my mind planned about feminist theory and stuff but this is not the place for it.  Send me a message if you want, I will talk theory for hours with you.  I will just say this, attacking women about what they have or have not done with their bodies is pretty much never feminism.  If you have a problem with a decision a woman made feel free to attack the source or circumstances you think cause women to be put in such situations (ie societal pressures for bigger breasts, the male gaze and how it dominates commerce) attacking a person has no point.  For real, no point, it isn’t going to solve shit and it won’t help the person.  Which is my other point, sorta, just because someone makes a decision you would not does not make them wrong or immoral.  This applies to feminism, too.  But enough of that nonsense cause that is not what this is about, this is about a very pretty girl and very awesome costumes.  I am in awe of anyone who can perfect a look as well as Kato does, it is just so impressive how everything she does, even for example the cosplay of a character from a movie like Baby Doll can so flawlessly still feel like it is part of the same aesthetic as everything else she does. I am very impressed with her steam punk style.  And now I will debase all my top of this entry arguments by objectifying her and stating that today I want to fuck Kato.

Here is Kate Upton, or as I like to think of her: the future Plaintiff in Kate Upton vs. Whoiwanttofucktoday.  (That’s a restraining order joke folks.  Is it too vague?  I can’t tell.  My point is I am obsessed, dangerously so.  Really, I need help…) Anyway, she is here because she is great and hot and I like her a lot.  I can’t tell you why.  Like I know most people will say it’s the boobs and the body or whatever but… I don’t know, there are a lot of boobs and like literally everyone has a body of some sort.  There is something special.  Maybe only I get it.  Maybe we have a special connection.  Definitely this post will be used as evidence in the civil hearing that results in me not being allowed within 500 feet of her.  You know what’s most damning?  When I end this post by saying today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

The best thing about posting models is that I usually don’t want for pictures to choose.  The worst thing is that it is sometimes hard to say something beyond, “She sure is pretty”.  I mean, I guess that is an issue to a degree with anyone but I lack the specific vocabulary and knowledge to explain why a model is good at what she does.  An actress, a musician?  I can fake that a bit, I can describe what I like.  A model… well, the ones who move me have something to them that inspires me but that doesn’t mean that I can really explain it past, “She sure is pretty”.  Anyway, that brings us to Barbara Palvin.  She sure is pretty.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

So I was watching this video with Kelly Brook in it.  It is a ridiculous ad for a ridiculous product but it reminded me that Kelly Brook is ridiculously hot.  I can’t think of a world where I would buy Axe Body Spray but I would buy Kelly Brook.  No, hold on, that sounds horrible, I am not endorsing slavery or whatever.  I am saying I get celebrity endorsements, besides the fact that I would never watch a 3 minutes long commercial in most cases, I certainly wouldn’t so raptly watch it.  And now, I am still unlikely to buy their product but I am still talking about it and thinking about it.  And that is wrong because really the only thought any right thinking person should ever have about Axe Body Spray is, “Hey, that guy is wearing way too much cologne that comes out of an aerosol can”.  But… I am sold on Kelly Brook and those bastards clearly put an association in my mind.  Very clever, axeholes.  Anyway, Kelly Brook is very hot and lucky because I am an American unlike body spray I can pretend she is classy and exotic just because she’s from another country.  Which will make British people reading this laugh probably but it isn’t about being right, it’s about feeling like I am better than everyone else.  Today Kelly Brook is better than everyone else in my mind.  Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

I don’t think it’s exactly a secret that I consider Mosh one of the most beautiful women alive.  I know that’s like really high praise but I believe it.  I post a lot of attractive women but for me she stands out.  It’s hard to put into words but one of my favorite people on tumblr taught me an awesome phrase the other day, “Sem Sal” which is basically just Portuguese for No Salt which is commonly used in Brazil and it’s perfect.  Because there are things like that for you.  In the case of girls there might be a girl who is great looking, by every objective standards she just looks amazing but…. you don’t care.  She’s sem sal, she doesn’t have that extra spice or flavor you personally need to feel the thing, that extra drive that makes the person move from pretty to actively attractive to you.  I bring this up for Mosh because she would be basically the exact opposite of that.  She is undeniably pleasant to look at, I think most people would agree but she has that something extra that just puts her at a whole other tier in my mind. There are a lot of alternative models and a lot of successful ones but something about her just makes me place her way above the pack in my mind.  The thing is I can’t describe what it is, I guess if I could articulate that I could bottle and sell it and I’d be a millionaire.  All I can do is put up pictures and point out whatever it is that elevates her she has it.  Mosh is special.  Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.