Tag: Actress

It is hard to talk about Kat Dennings and not talk about her breasts.  Like, it isn’t what you set out to do but it seems insincere to not mention them.  I never want to feel false, I tend to write off the cuff and say what comes to mind and I think it’s impossible anyone is looking at Kat Denning and not noticing her chest.  I just don’t believe you if you act surprised and say you never noticed because… well obviously we know why.  But it feels so reductive, and I say this as someone who is already reducing various women to sex objects, but it is so reductive to reduce her to a pair of breasts.  I saw a headline the other day that she is the new Christina Hendricks.  Man, both of them are so much more than that.  If you haven’t seen her in anything you are missing out, Kat Dennings is just so charming.  I believe I have said that before but it’s simply because she is.  The girl has oodles of charisma.  Bountiful Charisma.  It outstrips the size of her cleavage so it’s a bit of a shame that the cleavage will always outstrip the charisma when it comes to attention.  Of course, if it introduces you to a good performance or two then maybe it isn’t such a bad thing.  Now, I could finish here by saying it’s the charisma and not the cleavage that I want today but that would be silly, too.  The simple truth is we may be attracted to elements of a person but it’s the way those elements combine that really make someone stand out, so I want both.  Today I want to fuck Kat Dennings.

The thing about watching a lot of horror movies is you end up seeing a lot of actors and actresses who are less than well known but are often beautiful people.  It’s kind of why they’re cast, for a mediocre to bad horror movie the formula is simple, gather pretty people, isolate them, kill them.   Most of them are forgettable, you might comment on how nice someone’s breasts are when you get to obligatory topless scene or someone might have a great smile but overall you don’t really remember them.  Sometimes they rise above, you get a great performance or a good one and they keep showing up.  Those people really stick out, it’s how I noticed Mary Elisabeth Winstead.  Sometimes though, you get someone who stands out but you never really see again.  That’s Jennifer Ellison to me but I still remember her.  Now, she might be a big deal in England or she might not be, I don’t have even the beginning of a clue but given how very, very easy it was to find scores of pictures of her she has to be someone of note.  I think.  All I know is I saw her in the Cottage and the entire movie was so much fun but she was awesome in it.  She played just the most foul mouthed, abrasive hostage I have ever seen.  She was a raging bitch in all the best ways and within seconds I was charmed.  Also she was pretty hot in a trashy sort of way.  I guess that might sound like an insult but sometimes that’s kind of nice.  My point is she was very good and very memorable and I feel like it’s a shame IMDB has her with so few credits because at least in this role she was fantastic.  Well, today some pictures of her popped up because apparently she’s lost weight?  I guess she had a weight issue?  I don’t know, I missed all that, she looks the same to me and today I want to fuck Jennifer Ellison.

I almost feel bad for Aly Michalka (I say as I sit up in the middle of the night, in my bedroom, in my underwear, having woken up from a nightmare and unable to sleep, that’s right I feel sorry for her).  By like… the standards of a high school reunion someone who has been on multiple TV shows and released albums and has actual fans is successful.  By Hollywood standards her career is failing, she hasn’t been in much of consequence since Easy A or when Hellcats went off the air, take your pick.  That seems like an unfair standard to me but it is what it is, so I feel a little bad for her.  That’s not why she’s here though, that’s more of… an aside, perhaps why I am thinking of her.  The truth is she is pretty.  I happen to like pretty girls.  I also seem to like blondes.  It is what it is I guess.  I find I have so little to say this time but look how much space I took up.  Today I want to fuck Aly Michalka.

Even though I don’t think I have had a drop of anything Sobe to drink in probably approaching a decade I am going to go ahead and declare the greatest thing Sobe has brought us is celebrities in body paint.  I feel this is generally a good look.  I say generally so no one feels inclined to dig up some picture to prove me wrong.  I like body paint.  I also happen to like Yvonne Strahovski so the combo is pretty solid.  Interestingly enough I didn’t take to her immediately and I think it’s 100% because I didn’t much like Chuck when it started.  I was talked into giving it another chance and thus her another chance.  Second time around I really liked both.  So because of nerdy TV, the sexiness of blondes, body paint, and random beverages ad campaigns today I want to fuck Yvonne Strahovski.

I never really found Catwoman attractive.  I mean, she’s not ugly, I get that but with comic book characters… they’re all attractive except for the ones whose powers are to be not attractive.  Probably not a coincidence those are usually guys (when they are women they are villains, if those villains turn good they get more attractive.  See Rogue, Marrow, etc.)  But for me at least there were always more interesting characters out there.  Or it may just be that everyone thinks Catwoman, or at least that have since Julie Newmar put on black latex.  So I kind of knew this entry would be inevitable once I saw the Dark Knight Rises, you don’t put out a summer blockbuster and put in one of comics few universally recognized sex symbols and screw up how she looks.  See, I knew I’d be writing this because I have always really liked Anne Hathaway and I knew I wasn’t totally immune to skin tight leather.  I think it started at first because she was in Princess Diaries and other Disney stuff and it felt… I dunno, extra dirty to lust after the good girl?  But the thing is she’s a porcelain goddess. She’s also a really good actress which goes a long way to making me like her.  She also seems so fun and game, be it Saturday Night Live, an interview, a horrible Oscars, she gives it her all, no one could claim she is anything but a pro. I would say I am surprised this is her first appearance here but I’m not because I hate her current short hair, it just doesn’t do it for me.  I doubt she’s crushed or I have struck her with any urge to change it, and that’s cool, but it does mean that I have turned my gaze elsewhere.  Or I had, I saw the Dark Knight Rises, she was gorgeous, she was awesome and bam, here we are, digging through my pictures folder.  I guess that’s all I have to say, I certainly don’t want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it but I will give away this one part.  SPOILERS: Today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

I have had debates (not lively ones, maybe more accurately conversations) about where Olivia Munn ranks on the hotness scale, especially against her replacements as eye candy on Attack of the Show.  Now, I think obviously hotness is subjective but I can understand how arguments can be made for Sara Jean Underwood being more attractive physically or Candice Bailey being prettier or whatever but I feel like it is stripping down a lot of Olivia Munn’s appeal.  That appeal is while she is kind of funny, kind of charming, and genuinely seems to like nerd culture to a degree she is also kind of a bitch.  And I mean that in a good way.  So much of nerd culture has women just pandering to them.  Gold bikinis and fictional characters giggling and waiting to be saved, life defined by a man, existence is there as a reward to a man.  I always felt like she was interesting because she wasn’t entirely that.  I mean, yeah, I remember when she took a dive into a vat of whipped cream dressed as a french maid, so it was there but so were the very snarky comments when guys would openly hit on her, the eye rolls, the sighs, the exclamations that she was bored.  I guess it felt like the pandering was on her terms and I don’t want to get into a debate as to what is and isn’t empowering because it’s not my place but it feels at least more so than bending over, showing off your panties and giggling because you have to.   Anyway, this is a long way of saying I find Olivia Munn to be quite attractive and I am glad her career seems to be moving forward these days because it looked like it might stall.  Well wishes aside really we all know what this is about, today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.

So I woke up this morning to a bunch of pics on my dash of Amber Heard.  Well, ok, honestly I woke up to pictures of a lot of girls but many were of Amber Heard.  And it says something about just how stunning she is that my thought wasn’t, “Look how many pretty girls” but instead was, “Look at how many pretty Amber Heard pictures”.  The truth is she is gorgeous and it just goes to show the effect she can have because just pictures usually don’t evoke that much passion in me.  Watching a movie or a show is much more likely to turn my head but she is just so gorgeous.  I especially love her ability to look so glamorous, which is probably why I found myself choosing all black and white photos today, it just… fit the mood she put me in.  So here she is for everyone to enjoy, in black and white.  I think it’s obvious why today I want to fuck Amber Heard.

It doesn’t matter how much Doctor Who I watch, I am not British.  I probably saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail like 100 times by the time I was 10 years old but again, I am still not British.  As such, I get some stuff, like I totally know what the Loo is.  Or a Lift.  Or that when someone calls someone a geezer they aren’t talking about an old man, you pick stuff up from context.  As such, I have no idea what this Skyride event is but from what I have seen over the years I can pretty much piece it together.  It appears to be some sort of event that exists to get Kelly Brook on a bicycle wearing something that shows off her chest.  From what I can see here it appears to be going swimmingly.  Oh sure, sometimes it works a little better than other times but I don’t think the planners can complain.  Mission accomplished, Kelly Brook Boobs.  Well done, England, well done.  I am going to go ahead and say I am not really sure how they lost the Empire because this is some very, very solid thinking.  So, there we go and event I have decided is all about Kelly Brook, boobs, and bicycles (I could be wrong, I guess if you know otherwise let me know).  But until I hear otherwise: Brook, boobs, bikes. I approve.  Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

Long before I knew much about her I knew Amber Heard was beautiful.  That was the first thing I knew about her because duh I have eyeballs.  The more I learned the cooler she got though.  I don’t even like guns but the fact that she loves guns is somehow hot.  The car stuff?  Crazy hot.  Her attitude about coming out?  Also hot!  Anyway, she’s hot, so here’s some hotness to share so you can see why today I want to fuck Amber Heard.

There is something interesting about the long ago stars of yesteryear.  I don’t know exactly what to call it but there is a difference in the way they move, they talk… in them.  I guess there is a sultriness?  Maybe it’s the movies I watch.  I do watch a fair number of old movies but they usually fall into a couple of categories: Psychological Westerns of the 50’s, Spaghetti Westerns of later, Jimmy Stewart Movies, and a lot of Film Noir.  That’s how I know Diana Dors, from her work as a femme fatale in various pieces of Noir or near Noir.  So, maybe it isn’t the women then, maybe it’s the women playing roles that are meant to make you understand why a man would risk his life and trust someone against his better judgement just because she is steeped in raw sexuality.   In what I consider an insulting turn of phrase she has been refered to as Britians only sex symbol export outside of Lady Godiva.  I have no clue if that’s true but I can see why in the 1950’s she would have been popular.  I think I first saw her in Tread Softly Stranger and she was far and away the best thing in it. As proof I have included two gifs from the movie.  I feel like at this point I don’t even need to say more, just look.  Today I want to fuck Diana Dors.