Tag: blonde

So Blake Lively is back promoting another movie and I’ll mainly gloss over that because the less said about Woody Allen the better (I mean, I thought he was a creep when he was just banging his daughter, when it turns out he’s a child molester though? Wow).  So instead what I will talk about is Blake Lively’s amazing ability to dress while pregnant.  I don’t mean like actually physically getting dressed, though I’d imagine that’s a chose but it’s a chore every pregnant woman manages to do.  No, I mean her fashion sense while pregnant. I seriously think she might have the best maternity clothes ever.  It’s astounding to me the variety of things she wears and how good she looks.  Like, it puts some people to shame who aren’t pregnant.  And like. admittedly I’m not an expert but it seems likely that the options you have while pregnant are much more limited than clothing options while not pregnant.  She has looked great.  I love it.  Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

So some time ago my buddy @wildflagsure said something about hwy do people like Margot Robbie so much because she’s boring.  Something like that. I kind of agreed.  And I had posted her before but like, there are a lot of Margot Robbie pictures out there and it was almost too much.  So I got what she meant and kind of agreed in that she was very pretty but unexciting. Hollywood has this thing, and I would say it’s more common in male actors, this blandly handsome thing. Someone who would easily be the best looking person you know if they worked in your office but on TV it’s like… oh, another square jaw with dark hair and perfect cheekbones. The same thing can happen with pretty blondes or… well, it can happen.  So I got it, I wasn’t as passionate as @wildflagsure, who was of course filled with rage being the rage filled hothead she is.  I think she said something like, “By Hera! I’ll see her bones ground to dust at the river Styx in the realm of Hades.  Nemean Lion, Gyro, Moussaka!” And I was like, whoa, cool your jets.  But you know, you can’t reason with some people.  Anyway, my point is I get this thing on Margot Robbie but i also get feeling absolutely compelled to post her after Wolf of Wall Street, because on the other hand she is ridiculously beautiful.  And sometimes I see that.  I just don’t need it shoved down my throat.  Like enough with the Harley Quinn, stuff. Actually, that might be the source of the acrimony for me, there is nothing that seems more, “Whoa, tone it down.  It’s a little on the nose” than the sexying up of an already sexy character that is Harley Quinn in the past few years.  So maybe she got a little of that on her.  Anyway, she’s doing all this press for Tarzan and it is like, oh right, she’s gorgeous.  So here she is.  Today I want to fuck Margot Robbie.

Here is Candice Swanepoel because why not some Candice Swanepoel.  I can’t think of any reason not to.  She is very pretty and looks very pretty here and you know, day after a long weekend I feel less rested than I do after a regular weekend.  It’s all the pressure of having to capitalize on the long weekend.  You get that sad look from people when they ask what you did and your answer is, “Nothing, watched terrible movies and cried myself to sleep because I had nothing to do”.  There’s this silent judgment like you must be unhappy with that because it isn’t the way so many people want to spend their time off.  Like, suddenly they put on the kid gloves because they feel you must be horribly sad about all of that.  So I went outside and to the lake and all sorts of stuff so I didn’t have to deal with any of that.  But I am a little worn out as a result.  So here is Candice Swanepoel because it takes like zero effort to find her attractive and like zero effort to find good pictures of her.  She’s the gift that keeps giving when it comes to pictures.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.  We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  So suck it, King George!  I am putting up Alexis Ren today because America guys.  America.  I almost wanted to do Nicki Minaj again because it was hilarious to watch racists who didn’t realize they were racist try to explain why she wasn’t a real American that one time without using the phrase “because she’s black”.  But Alexis called to me.  Because of Freedom and Liberty guys. Enjoy your 4th and enjoy these pictures, every shot of a beautiful woman is a blow against the Tyranny of a corrupt, old system of nobility.  Anyway, I have a busy day, I have to go throw all the team in my house into the bathtub before throwing up a middle finger as hard as I can in the direction of Windsor Castle. So, for America, today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

I almost posted this and then I realized it’s my dear friend @wildflagsure‘s birthday. So with her Happy Birthday, she’s great and deserves it.  Of course, this post won’t mean anything to her but she’s a Greek living in the UK, I feel like she has greater disappointments on her mind than having to look at Blake Lively.  Anyway, she basically got a birthday post here a few days ago.  Anyway, I went and saw the Shallows last night and yeah, I wasn’t expecting much but you may have noticed I have posted Blake Lively a ton recently so I was in the mood to see Blake Lively.  Well, I was in a Blake Lively mood yesterday. Anyway, I wasn’t expecting much as I definitely insinuated in another post but the movie actually was much better than I was expecting.  Now, that’s damning something with faint praise but in part that’s because every shark movie in the world owes a giant debt to Jaws and is never as good as Jaws.  So, I guess breaking news, you heard it here first, The Shallows is not as good as Jaws. It is however, a good deal better than a lot of shark movies.  I have seen a lot of shark movies.  There is a whole wide range of quality that spans from say Jaws to Jaws 4 (in which a shark chases a woman to the Bahamas to get revenge. That is the least stupid part of it).  This movie is light years better than Jaws 4. And Jaws 3.  And for the first 50 minutes or so this is honestly pretty good.  It really falls down in not having enough faith in Blake Lively, it seems like it wants to add stuff when this movie really should have been about Blake Lively trapped on a rock and we don’t need another thing.  So overall it was ok, it had the potential to be much better.  And I will give Blake Lively credit for really being pretty good in this.  And beautiful.  Fuck she is beautiful.  So today I want to fuck Blake Lively.  

I am sorry.  I know I just posted Blake Lively and some people don’t like when I repeat myself frequently (I assume @thunderstormofoblivion is livid because she gets annoyed when I post Charli XCX a lot and also her silence on Blake lately makes me assume she has decided Blake Lively is gross.  You have my apologies if you are reading this Blake but the bad news is she has no interest in you ever again.  Don’t try to make out with her) and Blake proved to be less than popular last time, most likely give her growing stomach which tends to make celebrities way less popular except for the small segment of people for whom said celebrity becomes way more popular.  And you know who you are. And yes, I am looking right at you.  Metaphorically, I don’t have a camera or anything at your desk.  I can’t help it though because it’s like Gossip Girl come to life, Blake Lively looking fabulous all over New York and every blog on the internet abuzz with details about where she’s going and what she’s saying and what she thinks of sex scenes in Deadpool, and so on and so on.  It’s great because I just counted and it has meant Blake Lively in 9 different dresses since Monday.  That’s just fantastic.  For me.  For you too if you’re a person of taste and given you’re probably following this blog if you’re reading this, you must be.  So good news for all of us.  Except @thunderstormofoblivion who thinks girls are gross.  Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

It always feels like a little present when Blake Lively is out promoting a movie. She suddenly shows up everywhere for this little spurt before disappearing again to her secret lair she shares with Ryan Reynolds.  Maybe lair is the wrong word.  Anyway, she has been doing press for her new movie.  I don’t really know anything about the movie but I assume it will be terrible.  This feels like a pretty unfair assumption on my part but the truth is I have seen the things on this list and there is a pattern.  Whatever, I didn’t need to bring that up.  I’m sorry.  She always looks so fantastic though.  I am impressed with how she is dressing while pregnant especially.  Because she is managing to dress in a way that looks great, doesn’t draw attention to the pregnancy but never looks like she’s hiding it.  I don’t think I have ever seen it pulled off quite like this before. She looks great.  Today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

Because I am overwhelmingly lazy, I always appreciate when someone makes my job nice and easy.  Like Gigi Hadid did last night at the MuchMusic Awards. I mean, I didn’t watch said awards.  I have better thing to do than sitting around watching that like some sort of Canadian.  But I did see pictures and it was like, oh, she looks good there.  And there.  And there.  And so, it makes life really easy if I don’t actually have to think much about who to post and extra easy when a girl wears 5 different things at an event so I don’t even have to go digging for pictures.  She looked adorable at times, sexy at others, which is kind of her thing.  So here she is because today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

I ended up watching Lucy last night, which is a thing I intended to do a long time ago but never got around to and never could quite work up the motivation to put any effort into seeing it.  I didn’t even intend to watch it, I was flipping through selections and actually clicked on something else when I caught Scarlett Johansson’s face out of the corner of my eye, forcing me to go back and figure out what it was.  At that point I knew I was going to watch it if I had never seen it because… well, Scarlett Johansson.  I have to admit she’s a draw, we’re closing in on 15 years I’ve been watching movies because of her.  Anyway, I had meant to see it because people liked it but I was reluctant because I had a hard time getting around the whole 10 percent of your brain stupidity.  I have a really tough time suspending disbelief when they are things that are very clearly myths but purport to be science fact.  So like… the force or radioactive Spiders?  Totally down because the premise is pure fantasy.  But a thing that is based on horseshit that some people believe?  That’s hard.  Anyway, it was pretty solid but really nothing special and the entire time I had some serious issues with the bullshit myth stuff.  Not just the 10% of the brain but like… at one point they talk about how as humans develop they will use more of their brain which will lead to things like being able to control other humans.  But how does that work if we all evolve to use more?  And like… what is the evolutionary advantage of subjugating your own species?  Look, this throw away summer blockbuster really fell down in the science department and I know science, I own a copy of the Omni Future Almanac.  Still, very watchable and Scarlett Johansson straight up murdering dudes is something I am always down with.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

So there have been a few events recently Natalie Dormer has been at and that has been convenient for me since I have found myself thinking about her independently of said events.  I can’t remember what those events were, I think she won an award or something at one and another was a Women in Film thing but I am never really sure about Women in Film thing because there some Women in Film organization or is it just a label various things use?  As I type that I realize I sound like a confused teenage boy who isn’t sure if Women are a monolith or actually a collection of individuals (hey, it’s the second part teenagers).  But I mean, I know there is like a non profit called Women in Film, I am just not sure if every event that uses the phrase women in film is associated with the capitalized Women in Film.  Anyway, it was all convenient because Natalie Dormer is amazing and she looked really good at the nebulously capitalized women in film thing yesterday.  Natalie Dormer is so interesting because she sits at the intersection of two things that don’t always seem to intersect, in that she is outrageously sexy, like to a phenomenal degree that often that seems to be her defining trait and it is easily the most common comment related to me by people on the internet.  But she also seems cool as fuck, like Natalie Dormer would be the coolest friend you have.  She would just be so cool to hang out.  Now, as I type this I realize I have fallen into a bit of teenage boydom again by creating some strange Madonna/Whore dynamic for Natalie Dormer but while women indeed contain multitudes it is really interesting for someone to be able to project both at the same time and so effortlessly.  I can tell you first hand, it’s exhausting to be that great all the time and give off both vibes.  But she does and it seems effortless.  Which is the secret to being cool, it just seems easy.  So basically Natalie Dormer is here because she’s cool as fuck.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.