Tag: blonde

I woke up today not feeling well.  Like cough and stuff and so tired I can barely keep upright.  I am not telling you this for sympathy, though I mean obviously it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone but I will bravely soldier on. I am mentioning this because femalecelebrityoftheday asked me recently if I ever have days where I don’t want to post anyone, like if I am sick or something.  The answer is no but you’ll notice I am posting a good bit later than I typically would.  Often I would best describe it as the spirit being willing but the body is hacking up phlegm.  Also I think it might alter who I pick.  I think.  Cause I have apparently posted Holly Willoughby a bunch when I am sick.  I noticed this going back to look at posts of her.  I was thinking about examining why but I actually decided that’s a thread better left unpulled.  Anyway, she is pretty, and I assume femalecelebrityoftheday knows her cause they’re both from the UK and you guys all know each other, right?  Tell her I said hi I guess.  Or don’t, keep being selfish and not introducing me to any of the British women I post.  This is totally off the rails, the point is Holly Willoughby is very pretty and just kind of comforting and inviting and today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

I watched John Wick last night and it was pretty solid.  I don’t think I quite liked it as much as everyone else but my friends kind of over hyped it going in.  They do that sometimes so something that is a solid action flick is never going to live up to expectations.  But I liked it.  Anyway, there is a point where one of the many villains is introduced and like, you don’t know she’s a villain necessarily but she’s got black hair, she’s wearing black leather, and she’s hot and dangerous looking and I think we all know the language of cinema well enough now to know that anyone in black leather who looks mean and isn’t the main character is probably evil.  She was not going off to start a puppy petting club.  Anyway, I saw her and immediately was like, whoa, she’s hot.  But you don’t get the best look then later she shows up and again I was like, “Whoa, she’s hot… wait, is that Adrianne Palicki?"  Yes, yes it was.  Last time I posted her I posted about how great it was that she was a superhero and how I loved that.  I turns out evil assassin is also a strong look for her.  Honestly, being a badass was a good look for her.  She wasn’t really doing any ass kicking in Friday Night Lights but Tyra became way more attractive as she transitioned from Football player’s girlfriend with no ambition to the girl working and fighting to make a better life for herself and get into college.  So like, no one is going to get in my way, I am going to get shit done Adrianna Palicki is a hot Adrianne Palicki.  It’s one i endorse.  So here are pictures of her being a badass because it’s hot.  Today I want to fuck Adrianna Palicki.

It’s pretty well documented if you check the Candice Swanepoel tag on my blog here that she is obsessed with me.  I mean, she is constantly sending me emails with picture of her in her underwear.  Little card in the mail with picture of her telling me I am invited to some sort of special store event.  A whole book of girls in their underwear which she calls a “catalog”.  Also, clearly just a way to tell someone you’re into them without doing it.  I have done the same.  You know, you mention to a girl in passing that she is pretty but couch it in another statement.  Let her know without coming out and saying it.  Because you’re a coward.  Basically that was junior high for me.  Anyway, it’s well documented as medical fact (disclaimer: I am not a doctor but I have two grandparents are so the laws of genetics mean I am half doctor, thus I can proclaim things medical fact.  Thomas Jefferson wrote it in the Declaration of independence,). It can’t be argued.  I mean you can but I’ll just lose your ask or whatever and stick my fingers in my ears.  Anyway, I am not hear to convince you she’s obsessed with me, I am here to point out her tactics seem to be working.  Cause I have posted her a lot  But also the holidays were pretty slow for pictures except for a few people.  Candice was one of those few people who kept the greatness coming.  I am willing to declare she won the holiday season.  I mean, look at her.  Amazing.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Alexis Ren because Alexis Ren is pretty.  Sometimes I just say that.  This person is here because they are pretty.  I could claim that is a basic distillation of the reason for everyone but the truth is usually I am just feeling uncreative and can’t think of anything today.  Like today I am a little stressed, lots of important work stuff to focus on mixed in with thoroughly unimportant work stuff that I still have to do and is a waste of time.  So it doesn’t get my all.  But there is also the fact that it’s just the truth, Alexis Ren stands out by being kind of… casually pretty?  Effortlessly pretty?  It’s hard to quite come up with the correct label but she is not just pretty, she is the kind of pretty that captures something.  Warmth, sunny days, the beach?  I don’t know, it definitely is something.  Which I guess is really her job as a model, not just to look pretty but to somehow give a feel of a place and time.  She’s not selling jean shorts.  No one is selling jean shorts.  They’re selling the idea of jean shorts.  The idea that life could be this good if you owned these jean shorts.  Or you know, other articles of clothing.  That’s just an example.  My point is she’s good at it cause I can get the feeling from her work like yeah, there is something magic here.  If I owned that bottle of water… but I am rambling and I have shit to do.  Alexis Ren is really pretty.  Today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

Happy New Years everyone.  I hope you all had a good night.  On account of being old I basically did nothing because it just holds no appeal to me.  Honestly, it never held a lot of appeal, it’s a party holiday and my platonic ideal for the perfect night would involve a handful of people and good conversation, I find crowded bars and crowded houses are the antithesis of that.  So I skipped out this year and watched a little TV and then fell asleep at about 11:40.  Because I am old.  But I hope all of you had fun!  I figured Taylor Swift being shower in confetti was an appropriately festive picture for today.  Well, that and just her on stage for stuff.  There are only so many confetti pictures out there, I am not a machine.  Here is to a good 2015 though, may it be as good of a year as Taylor Swift had for herself in 2014, cause that turn around into America’s sweetheart was pretty monumental.  Like really, if we could all have half the year she had last year we’d be sitting pretty.  So good luck with that!  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

Today is gray and dreary.  There is nothing wrong but when you wake up and it is cold and it is raining and it is still looks dark outside it makes you move a little slower.  Or me, it makes me move a little slower.  I can’t really speak for you.  But for me it’s always kind of a let down.  I mean I am going to be inside anyway most of the time because I have a job and they make me show up to my job if I want to get paid, because they’re dicks, so it shouldn’t make a huge difference.  It does make a huge difference though.  I think it’s why I thought of Holly Willoughby today.  She somehow seems comforting.  I dunno, sweet and wholesome, like on a rainy day she’s make cookies or something?  Or biscuits because she’s British?  That sounds wrong, we’ll call them cookies.  Anyway, there is something comforting about her prettiness and I am assuming that’s what drew me to her today cause I mean, she doesn’t show up on my TV or anything.  So there you go, it’s a rainy day and today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Here is Scarlett Johansson because I could think of no greater gift for Christmas to give people than Scarlett Johansson.  She is marvelously talented and outrageously beautiful.  As a matter of fact there are very few people I know who don’t find her attractive.  And those people are generally wrong about most things so it isn’t stunning.  So a gift for girls and boys of all ages for all of you.  Merry Christmas!  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Among the many Christmas Miracles I have experienced this year is Kate Upton.  Ok… that’s a bit broad and vague but the first is her insistance on being on my TV for a phone app.  I appreciate the effort that.  They tell me she’s dressed as Athena, whcih, double bonus because I happen to love Athena.  Actually, my computer name is Athena (and my phone is named Athene Noctua so that they go together on the network and hey, because I am a huge nerd who loves mythology).  So that’s a little miracle, even when I have to watch ads on my phone I end up with an eyeful of Kate Upton.  Christmas Miracle!  The second is that my good buddy femalecelebrityoftheday has started to come around on Kate Upton.  He has posted her twice after literally years of telling me he didn’t really get the appeal. Has come around and even told me via fan male that she is so hot!  This is basically the exact same as in every Christmas movie when the dad who is a distant workaholic sees a picture his daughter drew of him, breaks into tears and realizes what is really important.  Except instead of family and togetherness what is really important is Kate Upton.  So you know, congrats to him.  And to all of you, every Christmas Miracle makes our world a little bit brighter!  Merry Christmas Eve followers!  I like you guys almost as much as I like Kate Upton.  Almost.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

The other day I made some lame joke about Christmas approaching and then here was Candice Swanepoel and how they had nothing to do with each other, I just wanted to mention two facts.  Or something.  Lord knows I couldn’t like, scroll back or something.  That smacks of effort.  Anyway, here is the actual Candice Swanepoel.  Or you know, pictures of her.  What an odd way to phrase things, the actual Candice Swanepoel.  This is not a pipe, I know that.  Moving on.  This is Candice Swanepoel dressed for Christmas because Christmas is right around the corner.  Seriously, tomorrow is the corner, you turn it, then bam, yuletide joy!  This is my last day of work until well after Christmas so I am joyous as all get out!  And I want all of you to have a great Christmas or whatever else you celebrate. Let’s be honest though, Christmas is the big one, right?  It’s the day we get off work.  That kind of makes it most important because of the no work thing.  But I want you guys to have a great December 25th even if that just involves going to the movies and eating Chinese food like some of my nearest and dearest.  Enjoy it!  I will.  Also enjoy these pictures of Candice Swanepoel because she’s gorgeous whatever you celebrate.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Today feels like a Mosh kinda day.  I don’t know why it does.  I am not even sure I can articulate exactly what a Mosh kinda day is.  That’s a problem since this blog is about articulating these kind of things.  Now, I could say some sort of bullshit about a picture being worth a thousand words and push the onus back on you somehow but I won’t do that.  I happen to think Mosh is among the most beautiful people on the planet, she just is.  So a Mosh kind of day is a day when I remember that and spend a bit just looking at her face and realize I have to post her because pretty much anyone else would pale in comparison.  I still haven’t explained it quite right but forgive me, I am distracted by her beauty.  Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.