Tag: Holly Willoughby

Here is Holly Willoughby because there was a new photoshoot with Holly in it and I want to encourage that kind of behavior.  She should show up more often in… whatever replaced Magazines in England.  I mean, I know they still have magazines but I assume no one buys them there either.  Anyway, I happen to really enjoy Holly, there is just a weird, contradictory mix of wholesomeness and sexuality that I dig.  Or maybe that isn’t contradictory.  Or shouldn’t be.  Anyway, that’s two British women in a row because it’s a British kind of weekend here.  By that I mean it’s basically rained the whole time. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

The Glamour Women of the Year Awards happened last night in the UK and Holly Willoughby looked fantastic.  This is very convenient for me because the night before I had a really odd dream about Holly Willoughby.  I didn’t post her but then it stuck with me for some reason.  It wasn’t even a good dream, it was just a dream that was kind of stressful and strange.  But it happened and she was on my mind and now she ends up looking the best at some event and… well, it must be a sign of some sort.  What kind of sign?  I don’t know, that’s the trouble with signs and portents and prophesies and so on, no one know what they mean until after whatever they are predicting or showing happens.  This makes them largely useless.  So I will just say it’s a sign that my brain knew she’d look really good at some point this week.  It still isn’t helpful in bettering my life but it does give me the chance to imply I am a special little brain snowflake, able to predict the future or something.  Anyway, just look at that smile, she looks great.  She is beautiful.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Here’s Holly Willoughby because it’s pretty much documented medical fact at this point that I am way into blond British women. Just a thing about me. But also because Holly Willoughby is kind of a fascinating mix of wholesome and sexy. I guess… I am not sure what it is, maybe it’s the mystery that is human charisma and that charisma is different in different people.  I mean, obviously I have boundless charisma, it’s why I have a blog about what celebrities I want to sleep with on the internet, it’s the only way to protect you guys from my uncontrollably enchanting magnetism.  Sure, you might doubt it but if this wasn’t here to distract me you’d all have given me all your money by now, shaved your head, and you’d be making people uncomfortable on the street asking them if they have heard the good word about Yzlot, the Bringer of Destruction and Fire. Look, my core point is I am great but my secondary one is that charisma is weird, cause my ability to get you to join my cult is different than what has Holly Willoughby as a popular TV presenting in Britain.  And it’s not just her curves, though no doubt they play a factor.  Perhaps they are a good place to start though, because as an outsider I have seen people describe her as looking like the girl next door and you know what?  You’re wrong.  There was one girl next door, she was 86, she yelled at the birds, she did not look like that.  And to be honest, the implication of that is she is what a good, honest woman looks like which is funny because those curves are god given and there is nothing about them you just get from good clean living.  But Brits seem to assign to her some sort of basic pureness, like shes’ what women would look like if they were kind and good an that is her charisma.  See, it presents itself by her just seeming wholesome and kind of motherly and kind of just beyond reproach.  I mean, I have seen necklines literally down to her naval and it’s interesting who can and can’t pull that off.  Some people look desperate.  Some people, like Holly, still look wholesome.  Like, oh, she’s going to make an apple pie.  Or whatever the British equivalent of apple pie is.  Boiled Shoe leather?  Maybe.  It’s definitely boiled, those people boil everything.  This is getting off track, I didn’t come here to bash British cooking, I came here to praise their blond women.  Particularly Holly Willoughby who is a dichotomy I find just fascinating.  Also, she’s  hot. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

I guess first of all Happy Australia Day to all my Australian followers.  I am not really aware of any Australian followers I have anymore but once upon a time I had quite a few notable ones (I hope you’re ok Rose.  I still think of you sometimes) but they all disappeared one way or another.  Anyway, I am not posting an Australian not because of any specific reason other than that’s how it happens sometimes, I don’t have a ton of control over it.  I mean, I do, I choose, but I am a slave to my own integrity.  Anyway, hey, Americans confuse Australians for British all the time and I am sure you guys love that, so just pretend I did that here.  The National Television Awards were in the UK last night and I am always so glad they just call them that, rather than distinguish them as British because that’s what we’d do here in America.  Though we’d probably call them the World Television awards and make only network shows aired in the US eligible, but my point is there is no reason to distinguish for awards in your country, it would be silly.  So I like it even though I am sure some people get confused.  I saw Holly’s dress last night actually and quite liked it and saw her smiling this morning and new I was picking her.  She checks off what are apparently my biggest things which is blonde and British.  I guess we all have a type.  You know, it makes me look unique and interesting, like when other douche bags in America pretend to like soccer.  Same thing.  Anyway, she looked great and so today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Hope everyone is doing well post Turkey hangover and stuff.  I was not expecting much in the way of celebrity stuff for today but luckily England exists and they did stuff yesterday because they aren’t thankful for anything.  Anyway, this lead to Holly Willoughby in a shiny dress and I don’t need much else.  I am a simple person with simple needs.  Just a couple of turkey sandwiches and some British women in shiny clothing to make me happy.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Hey guys, not really going to write anything today, not really in a place to do so. Or the mood.  Here is Holly Willoughby because I find something strangely comforting about Holly Willoughby.  I dunno what.  But that’s why she’s here. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

So Google does this creepy but amazingly accurate thing on my phone where randomly it will just be like, “Hey, you should read this news article”.  And I am always torn by conflicting emotions.  Cause on one hand it’s like, “Hey, you’re right, I do want to read that,” and, “Back off creep”. I got one of those late last night about Holly Willoughby reviewing sex toys and I will be honest, I felt like Google was judging me a little.  It was about how some people felt the whole thing was a bit too dirty for morning television, which struck me as odd because no matter what I have seen Holly Willoughby do on screen, it has always somehow come across as wholesome. So I went and watched the clip and didn’t get the controversy until I remembered that oh yeah, it’s morning television and morning television is watched by old people.  So the entire presence of sex toys and talking about them even existing was no doubt the controversy.  At least I assume.  I am not an expert on England, just on being attracted to English women.  But I assume like here in the states Morning “news” programs are for old people and no one else and given what I know about England I assume everyone was drinking tea and eating crumpets and monocles were popping out left and right during the segment along with some gasps of “Dear Heavens!”  Also something about Fish and Chips and calling elevators lifts.  Anyway, that happened last night then this morning someone posted a lot of pictures of Holly Willoughby on said show, This Morning, and it was like oh yeah, man she’s pretty.  And Google knows I think so.  And Google, I still feel like you are judging me.  I could hear the unspoken, “perv” at the end of the, “You might be interested in this”.  Whatever.  I am mostly fine with that.  Because hey, any excuse to see Holly Willoughby I guess.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Big, big day guys!  Today is my beloved @lunoboom birthday.  It’s really worth celebrating because, and I say this as someone who not a liar so you know it’s 100% true, she is the best.  Now, fellas, bad news is she’s not for you, among her many great traits Izzy is also as gay as the devil is hungry for souls and twice as crafty. And by gay I mean she is totally gay for making out and having relationships with girls. Which is, I believe, just called gay.  Ladies however… well, I don’t want to oversell it but this is the opportunity of a lifetime. You should really send her a birthday wish cause you never know what could happen.  Think about the story you’d have to tell your grandkids, that you met through some creepy blog on tumblr.  Then you’ll have to explain tumblr and the internet and electricity but you’ll have time because Izzy will most likely be the Queen of the post apocalyptic wasteland and very easily dispatch any marauding raiders who are there to steal your water.  She is pretty capable guys. She knows more than one language.  I can’t remember how many so I’ll say she speaks 322 languages fluently.  And she plays guitar.  Which let’s be honest, is hot. The Catholic Church has requested she pass their convents on the other side of the street because her mere presence makes nuns forget their vows.  So say happy birthday to her and cross your fingers.  Anyway, here is Holly Willoughby who as far as I know has nothing to do with Izzy.  As far as I know, you never know.  But Izzy recently told me when I was surprised she was into some girl, “Well, I have eyes and I am not dead”.  So fingers crossed her eyes didn’t fall out for her birthday and she can appreciate Holly Willoughby, who is very pretty.  I also have almost posted her a lot recently.  So here she is actually being posted instead of almost posted.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Here are a bunch of pictures of Holly Willoughby because it’s Christmas Eve and she is gorgeous.  I am not sure why she feels so Christmasy to me but she does.  I mean, I know there is a Christmas Tree in some of these pictures but that aside she still kind of feels Christmasy to me.  Maybe it’s the sort of wholesome air that surrounds her.  I have talked about that before and how somehow it is a vibe she gives off no matter what.  I guess that feels like Christmas.  Also she is here because she is very pretty and I like her a lot.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.