Tag: Model

Among the many Christmas Miracles I have experienced this year is Kate Upton.  Ok… that’s a bit broad and vague but the first is her insistance on being on my TV for a phone app.  I appreciate the effort that.  They tell me she’s dressed as Athena, whcih, double bonus because I happen to love Athena.  Actually, my computer name is Athena (and my phone is named Athene Noctua so that they go together on the network and hey, because I am a huge nerd who loves mythology).  So that’s a little miracle, even when I have to watch ads on my phone I end up with an eyeful of Kate Upton.  Christmas Miracle!  The second is that my good buddy femalecelebrityoftheday has started to come around on Kate Upton.  He has posted her twice after literally years of telling me he didn’t really get the appeal. Has come around and even told me via fan male that she is so hot!  This is basically the exact same as in every Christmas movie when the dad who is a distant workaholic sees a picture his daughter drew of him, breaks into tears and realizes what is really important.  Except instead of family and togetherness what is really important is Kate Upton.  So you know, congrats to him.  And to all of you, every Christmas Miracle makes our world a little bit brighter!  Merry Christmas Eve followers!  I like you guys almost as much as I like Kate Upton.  Almost.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

The other day I made some lame joke about Christmas approaching and then here was Candice Swanepoel and how they had nothing to do with each other, I just wanted to mention two facts.  Or something.  Lord knows I couldn’t like, scroll back or something.  That smacks of effort.  Anyway, here is the actual Candice Swanepoel.  Or you know, pictures of her.  What an odd way to phrase things, the actual Candice Swanepoel.  This is not a pipe, I know that.  Moving on.  This is Candice Swanepoel dressed for Christmas because Christmas is right around the corner.  Seriously, tomorrow is the corner, you turn it, then bam, yuletide joy!  This is my last day of work until well after Christmas so I am joyous as all get out!  And I want all of you to have a great Christmas or whatever else you celebrate. Let’s be honest though, Christmas is the big one, right?  It’s the day we get off work.  That kind of makes it most important because of the no work thing.  But I want you guys to have a great December 25th even if that just involves going to the movies and eating Chinese food like some of my nearest and dearest.  Enjoy it!  I will.  Also enjoy these pictures of Candice Swanepoel because she’s gorgeous whatever you celebrate.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Today feels like a Mosh kinda day.  I don’t know why it does.  I am not even sure I can articulate exactly what a Mosh kinda day is.  That’s a problem since this blog is about articulating these kind of things.  Now, I could say some sort of bullshit about a picture being worth a thousand words and push the onus back on you somehow but I won’t do that.  I happen to think Mosh is among the most beautiful people on the planet, she just is.  So a Mosh kind of day is a day when I remember that and spend a bit just looking at her face and realize I have to post her because pretty much anyone else would pale in comparison.  I still haven’t explained it quite right but forgive me, I am distracted by her beauty.  Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

Christmas is right around the corner and here is Candice Swanepoel.  You might wonder what those two things have to do with each other.  The answer is nothing!  They just are both true.  I kinda don’t have a ton to say.  Today is one of those days where I was hemming and hawing about who to pick and I settled on Candice Swanepoel because there are always pictures of Candice Swanepoel waiting to be placed on the internet.  It’s science fact.  If you blink there will be new ones.  Which works out ok on account of her being quite attractive.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

So last night was the actual television broadcast of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and I didn’t really watch but it did for some reason fill me with the urge to try and find pictures of Candice Swanepoel looking adorable.  It wasn’t that hard even if it isn’t the look Victoria’s Secret tends to promote for her.  I always feel like models often don’t get to be called cute ever.  Which kind of makes sense because I think the brain slides right past that when someone is posing in their underwear and putting on their sexy face and stuff.  It feels like a shame though.  I mean, obviously I am sure it is keeping the models up at night, if only strangers on the internet would talk about them being cute!  Being the hero I am, I am here to fix that today.  Finally!  I think she is quite adorable and today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Alexis Ren cause… um, cause she’s really hot guys.  Really hot.  I am almost not sure what else to say because you either know who she is or you don’t.  She’s a model who has long had a tumblr presence and has a  pretty large following as far as models on tumblr go.  But I bet most people don’t know who she is.  Which isn’t stunning.  Maybe you will one day?  She’s only 18 and she’s been a model for years so… big things in her future?  I have no idea, I almost feel like I have nothing worthwhile to type here.  My computer agrees cause it has started lagging.  Or you know, some joke about it over heating because she is hot.  I mean, she’s definitely hot.  Today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

It was honestly a tough decision as to who to post today cause obviously the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show happened yesterday (I mean, obviously, everyone knows, right?) and it meant there were a lot of people competing for attention.  It was tough enough I dithered some.  Cause like… I was afraid of picking the wrong person?  One day the internet police are going to bust down the door and tell me the blog is over, I didn’t really pick the person my heart knew I should pick.  Well, not so much that as almost like, I am afraid of slighting someone.  Like Taylor Swift is going to be sobbing on the plane back to the states tonight because she tried so hard and I ignored her.  Which some could say is sweet of me to be that concerned but is built upon and inherent self-centeredness where I really deeply and truly believe what I do is something other people care about.  A lot. Which when you think about it is pretty obvious if you think about what this blog is and the fact that i started it.  One day I sat down and was like, “Ok, the world needs to know this shit, I can let the people suffer no longer!"  So her I am world, again bestowing drops of wisdom on you yet again and telling you I have decided Candice Swanepoel won the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  Not only did she look great on stage and at the after party but also in all the lead up stuff.  This is easy because she’s pretty.  They’re all pretty (and in example 7,342 of the internet being a bag full of dicks there was nowhere I went last night and today for pictures that didn’t have people explaining which model was getting fat/aging poorly/was ugly and so on.  Every single model had someone saying so.  And really, if you see beautiful women on stage and your impulse is to go online and explain why they are fat and worthless or old and worn out someone should kick you in the nuts until that urge passes.  Or the clit.  Whatever, we’ll be all inclusive here).  They all looked good but I like Candice Swanepoel best and I really kind of like the golden angel wings.  That’s strange right?  I don’t mean in like a sexual way.  I just think they’re pretty.  I’d be ok with angel wings becoming a new fashion staple.  Sure it would make revolving doors a bitch but sometimes we have to suffer for fashion.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

I am still enough under the weather that I don’t really feel like writing a lot here.  I am tired and cranky and don’t feel like explaining myself.  So I won’t.  I feel like just looking at Emily Ratajkowski should be explanation enough.  She’s very hot and today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

I have a friend who one of her favorite things is shoes.  Not like in a sexual way.  Not judging for those of you who they are a sexual thing I just mean red carpet photos or something come out and her first thing is, “Oooo, look at her shoes”.  She loves Mosh and shoes are a big part of that but so is just the look Mosh has generally curated.  Of coruse, about a month ago Mosh posted some pictures of her shoe closet.  The results weer a hilarious sputtering on the part of my friend and she cycled from, “A shoe closet, I didn’t even know those existed,” to, “Oh wow,’ and finally to, "Look at all those shoes!"  What does this story have to do with anything?  Well, nothing really it was just fun.  And I guess it’s proof that there is something to appreciate about Mosh for everyone, even straight girls.  Now, you might not be someone who likes Mosh and my claiming there is something for everyone to like could feel like I am criticizing you or attacking you.  You are absolutely right.  There is something wrong with you, some broken thing deep down preventing you from feeling true joy.  Get your shit together.  Look at her, she is gorgeous!  Her make up is perfect.  Her hair is amazing.  Her sense of style is phenomenal.  Don’t be that guy who hates great stuff just to hate it.  Or do, whatever, it’s your life.  It’s why no one likes you though.  Back on topic, I like Mosh, she is gorgeous and today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

I posted Stoya once a million years ago (well not a million, I was a liberal arts major, I took math for liberal arts majors, so you’ll have to deal).  She hasn’t shown up again because I don’t really watch a lot of porn.  This isn’t really a judgement about porn it’s just a lack of interest.  I mean, obviously I am a huge perv but I have never been a porn person because also deep down I am a control freak.  Maybe if the actors on screen did what the fuck I wanted I would be interested but they don’t and they go down these boring, cliches paths that just don’t interest me.  What I am saying is my issues with porn stem from the fact that it doesn’t bend to my will like my imagination does.  So I don’t watch much porn.  I do adore Stoya though and mainly for non porn reasons.  I have always found her to be a thoughtful and interesting writer and I was very sad when she just suddenly stopped posting to tumblr.  Apparently not sad enough to get off my ass and look for other places to find her but I was sad.  Anyway, she does have another blog now it looks like and again I enjoy her thoughts.  Even if my feelings or beliefs are not in line with everything i always appreciate someone who can articulate themselves and give a different perspective.  Of course, I do often find myself agreeing with her.  On top of that she is beautiful.  So that’s a nice thing, too.  Which is why she is here today because she’s beautiful and intelligent and I like her.  Today I want to fuck Stoya.