Tag: Model

Today is one of those days where it is hard to think of something to write because when more important things are happening it all feels trivial.  But of all the terrible things on my TV in the past 12 hours or so what is not terrible are the commercials with Kate Upton.  Actually, those commercials were on my phone, too, when I tried to play a game.  I mean, I don’t really care to play whatever this game is but I appreciate delivery of Kate Upton directly into my hands.  Now that I have written that out I realize my brain might be doing some wishful thinking there but my point remains, I don’t mind seeing Kate Upton in a flowing white dress and gold armor.  It turns out that’s a really good look for her.  Who knew?  I guess whoever planned the commercial.  That’s some next level stuff because I have never once looked at a girl and been like, “I bet she’d look really good walking around a battlefield dressed as some sort of amazon”.  I am just painfully uncreative (also, Kate Upton is an Amazon, I know there are platforms and stuff but I have seen her walking around at these press conferences and women near her don’t even come up to her shoulders).  Anyway, I like Kate a lot, it’s nice to have something nice to think about.  This is, by the way, the 50th time I have posted her.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So today is my buddy ganstersexy ’s birthday and I don’t know how she actually feels about Emily Ratajkowski (though I did slip in what I consider a birthday themed photo, see if you can figure out which one.  It’s like Where’s Waldo.  You know except for idiots).  I assume she at least kind of likes Emily Ratajkowski though because she enjoys attractive women and Emily Ratajkowski is an extremely attractive woman.  So the math seems pretty simple.  Emily Ratajkowski being in Gone Girl has been huge for me because she seems to be popping up at events all the time as a result, as a matter of fact she was at some Golden Globes thing and I have no idea who else was there but she won because… look at her.  Also enjoy the visual pun of her standing next to a sign that says golden globes while wearing a low cut dress.  Enjoying picture of Emily Ratajkowski works on so many levels!  Anyway, happy birthday to ganstersexy and happy Saturday to me cause look at Emily Ratajkowski!  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Once upon a time, like a million years ago now, I was talking about girls with a friend and she told me one of the girls I liked was pretty but she wasn’t really into, “playing dress up”. (Ok, no reason to be coy, it is whole-lies-and-half-smiles who said it).  I think it might have been a nice way of saying she doesn’t like models cause I am pretty sure I was discussing Miss Mosh.  Either way, the simply truth is I really like dress up.  It’s fun.  It’s sexy.  When I saw pictures of Candice Swanepoel dressed as an Angel I was pretty sure she was going to show up here today.  I love the golden wings, I love the way she looks and frankly despite the fact that I have well documented here that she is secretly obsessed with me with what can only be called conclusive-not-at-all-delusional evidence, I happen to like her a lot.  So today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Yes, it’s Kate Upton again.  Kate Upton showing up here is a reality everyone should be used to at this point.  It’s like my Grandma always said, if you follow my blog you’re going to get a lot of Kate Upton.  For years we thought she had dementia, it turns out she was just clairvoyant.  Or I could be making it up, you’ll never know.  Well, you’ll probably be pretty sure you know but technically you have no way of knowing with absolute certainty.  Very few things are certain.  Here is what I know to be certain.  Kate Upton is very attractive.  I am very attracted to Kate Upton.  She is blonde.  She is popular.  There is backlash.  I don’t care because I like her a lot.  She is pretty.  She has a very nice body.  She is not fat.  And I am for-sure-100%-positive-cross-my-heart-hope-to-die certain that today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Often when I post someone it is a battle of who I actually choose cause I have a bunch of people bouncing through my head and they are all fighting for attention.  A lot of this week was like that.  Then other days people flit in and out of my brain and don’t really stay and I have no idea who I am going to post because I can’t seem to care enough to actually put together a post.  Today is more like that.  Probably because I didn’t really watch anything yesterday, instead a I read a book like a fucking nerd.  I am so disappointed in myself.  Anyway, eventually at this late hour my brain settled on Barbara Palvin and I don’t know why.  She’s pretty though so I’ll take it and half ass this post and say today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Here is Kate Upton because Kate Upton is hot.  I cracked the code guys, I figured out Kate Upton is hot!  It’s taken 48 posts but I finally did it, I finally figured out that Kate Upton is hot and that’s why she’s popular.  Is there a Nobel for being an internet perv cause if so I just earned it!  Anyway, I love Kate Upton on account of her hotness but also she just seems fun.  She smiles a lot, she seems to enjoy herself.  Those are good traits.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So I am home from work for the day (I hope) and I brought work home with me and I am currently listening to Chuck Berry wonder why a woman named after make up can’t be true and the simple truth is I have no fucking idea, Chuck, some people just aren’t built that way.  And some people are assholes.  Her parents named her Maybelline. That really should have been the first red flag. What does that have to do with Emily Ratajkowski?  Nothing really.  I can’t even reach and come up with a bullshit reasons.  I am basically just explaining that I am not really particularly normal.  The fact that I am holding conversations with Chuck Berry records is part one.  Part two is me looking specifically for red carpet pictures of Emily Ratajkowski when usually she shows up here half naked, on account of her being a model who often wears very little.  I thought it would be nice to put her in clothes because… I’m an idiot?  Is anyone on the internet sitting around wishing for Emily Ratajkowski wearing more other than me?  Probably not.  I can’t help it, it’s what i wanted to post for her today.  I think she is gorgeous and I happen to like clothes.  She looks good in clothes.  I mean, she looks good naked, too.  She just looks good.  Beautiful people do that.  Look good in clothes or naked.  Anyway, if you got this far I’m sorry, they can’t all be winners.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

So Halloween is rapidly approaching and that seems like a good a reason as any to post Mosh in a bunch of cat costumes.  Because… why not?  I mean, to be honest I don’t really need an excuse to post Mosh or to post Mosh in cat costumes or whatever.  She is gorgeous and she is hot but there is some synergy here so I’ll claim that’s why.  I have written a book about her in the past but I don’t have a ton more to say here other than Mosh is unbelievably gorgeous and today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

So Kelly Brook has shown up here a lot.  Mainly because I have reached the conclusion that I am somehow way attracted to British girls.  I am not sure why, I can’t put my finger on anything distinctly British but it seems to happen.  It has been pointed out to me.  I am not arguing it.  I am ok with being attracted to Kelly Brook, on account of her being very attractive.  It makes me look right.  If she was ugly I’d look like some sort of chump but instead it’s just like, hey look, that person is pretty sharp, that person is attracted to attractive people.  Or something.  Look, I am very tired, I look like the comical before picture for some sort of energy drink today, let’s just end this by saying today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

So I watched Open Windows and uh… it was ok.  Not as tense as Grand Piano.  Strangely like the dark mirror of that movie.  Well, they’re both dark.  Maybe like the less classy version?  I don’t know, I am not a film critic.  Anyway, Sasha Grey was in it and uh… she was fine.  I think she was kind of supposed to be playing Kristen Stewart?  Honestly she wasn’t great and it is just strange to try and wrap my head around the idea that the former biggest porn star in the world (maybe?  I don’t know, it seemed that way) is now just making normal movies.  Of course, she got naked, I’d imagine that is part of why you get her?  That seems dismissive but I kind of assume that is part of it.  I am rambling, I have nothing of interest to say here really.  Today I want to fuck Sasha Grey.