Tag: Scarlett Johansson

So I saw Captain America yesterday and it was pretty amazing.  Which is good because Cap has long been in my list of top 3 favorite Superheroes.  I was always worried about their ability to translate him on screen because he is a guy (like Superman) who both comic fans and non comic fans sometimes see as corny or old fashioned.  Which always disappoints me because it is sad to think someone who stands up simply for what is right and doing the right thing shouldn’t really be seen as corny.  What makes Cap so wonderful is that he embodies hope, he is what we all should strive to be.  Sure he is quick and agile and throws a good punch but his true strength is that of character, that you can trust him to do what is right.  That’s powerful stuff and it makes me beyond happy that Chris Evans manages to project that so well on the screen.  I was a little worried when he was cast.  I was wrong obviously.  I also was worried about Scarlett Johansson when she was cast.  Obviously I like her a lot but I had no read on how she would be Black Widow, in part because Black Widow has never been my favorite character and too often with bad writers falls under the generic bad girl/female badass who basically exists to be in skin tight leather and show a lot of cleavage.  I had my concerns when the casting was announced that they chose one of the most beautiful women in the world for the role to be eye candy.  Clearly my concerns were baseless and she has done well.  She did very, very well in Captain America: the Winter Soldier.  I found myself very much liking her character and the chemistry on screen was just amazing.  I can say I really do hope we finally get a Black Widow movie, I think she can definitely carry her own movie and with Scarlett in the role I am sure it would be compelling and interesting.  So that’s why she’s here.  That and the fact that obviously I love Scarlett Johansson to death.  She is also just so beautiful.  And I loved the movie.  So today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

The last 24 hours have been a collection of “Oh, I am totally going to end up posting this girl tomorrow” moments.  That’s the problem with a once daily blog, it isn’t always entirely true to it’s title because if it was I would just post a list of like 10 people some days and go, “Hey, here was 9 AM to 10:30.  Then I saw that picture of that girl and that took me through 11 until…”.  So like at 8 PM yesterday I was convinced this was going to be Community inspired.  Then there was other stuff.  Then other stuff.  Anyway, it isn’t entirely stunning that Scarlett Johansson won out because she is gorgeous and well, I have posted her a ton at this point, including my first ever post.  And even if the new Captain America sucks I feel like it has already given us so much, this staggered premiere showings across the world thing is fantastic because every few days it means more Scarlett Johansson.  And that is a good thing.  So here is to Scarlett and the wonderful red carpet pictures we’re getting and for her winning the royal rumble in my brain.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Here is Scarlett Johansson who really should have been posted earlier in the week but she kept popping up into my thoughts after I had already posted that day.  I guess some people are more of a late afternoon type thing?  Like… I never drink soda before noon and rarely do I drink coffee after noon.  There is no reason for this it is just that coffee feels like a morning drink, soda sounds vile at 9 AM.  Now… that isn’t a perfect analogy because there is no time Scarlett Johansson feels vile, I just know it has been late afternoon she has popped into my head every day since Thursday.  Always after a I posted.  And she has worked hard because I assume everyone saw the boob show she put on at the Captain America Premiere.  I would usually be more circumspect but boob show just feels the most accurate here.  Even the perpetually reserved and polite femalecelebrityoftheday came as close to mentioning it as possible yesterday.  It was a thing, we’re all aware.  And she is amazing looking.  And look, today she is here well before noon, so good job?  Look, I am rambling, I do that sometimes, the point is I am super attracted to Scarlett (she is the first person I ever posted on this blog) and today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

I am making my way through as many of the major Oscars nominees as I can before the Oscars get here.  I have, to this point, seen 6 of 9 Best Picture Nominees but I don’t think it’ll go much beyond that.  I have largely been disappointed in them, not that they are bad, they just overall have not struck me as great movies, or even much better than above average movies.  Of what I have seen Her is one of the two that I would rate highly (the other being Nebraska, which is my favorite.   Well, and Matthew McConaughey was pretty awesome in Dallas Buyers Club but really none of this is why you are here).   Which, since I just saw Her is why Scarlett Johansson is here today.  There is something slightly perverse and thought provoking about casting a known sex symbol to just be the voice of a love interest, a love interest with no body.  I found the movie to be beautiful, both visually, but also in it’s exploration of human emotion.  After watching it I found myself torn on if it was a movie about love or a movie about loneliness.  My friend said he thought it was a movie about heartbreak and without thinking I said, “I said it was a movie about love”.  I knew how that sounded the second it left my mouth and basically what I am saying is that’s why you shouldn’t really listen to my opinion about any of this at all.  Still, the movie was beautiful and movie and Scarlett was pretty amazing actually, her work really was movie, which is always hard in vocal work but she did such a good job (and the movie as a whole did) of making an artificial intelligence believable as a person and making it believable someone could fall in love with her.  That second part definitely was, she was at her most charming and it takes a lot of charisma to create attraction just through a voice.  She did it though.  It has probably just contributed further to the decade plus long crush I have had on her (Oh god, Ghost World was 2001 guys, 13 years I have crushed on her.  i am old, she still looks 23).   Anyway, she is great, she is among the most beautiful women I have ever seen and today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

So somewhere named Scarlett Johansson the sexiest woman alive.  Seems like a perfectly fine choice to me but I have seen a bit of grumbling on the internet.  I get it, I get it.  Everyone thinks it should have been me.  Look, I’ve been getting the shaft for 34 years, don’t worry about me, I’m used to it.  One day someone will name me the Sexiest Woman Alive.  One day.  But I have a secret for you, it’s all bullshit.  There is like no vetting process.  No one is counting votes anywhere and very little science is involved.  This is going to sound cynical but I think it might all just be a way to sell magazines.  I know, I know.  I’m sorry.  Just sometimes I think all businesses care about is making money as opposed to the artistic integrity of the Sexiest Woman Alive award.  Still, I am not upset about the results.  I love Scarlett Johansson.  And the pictures were lovely.  It’s always nice to get great new pictures of her.  And she’s pretty sexy.  When I finally get my win we’ll talk about how great it is while our perfect hair glistens in the Caribbean sun.  Or something.  Look, the point is today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

So yesterday it was pretty clear that I was supposed to post Scarlett Johansson.  I mean she looked amazing on the red carpet in Venice and everyone knows how much I like her and then of course in swept a crafty Brazilian Lesbian to distract me with a whole other Scarlett, as they are want to do (yes, I am for some reason trying to create a stereotype that Brazilian Lesbians are crafty little pixies who swoop in and show people attractive women to distract them.  Why?  I’m bored and it kind of makes me laugh).  It was even commented on that someone was surprised that I didn’t post Scarlett Johansson.  Well… problem solved or whatever.  Apparently she’s engaged.  I never know what the reaction to these things should be.  I know some people are excited for them, some seem upset.  I guess I get both, but I am not going to beat my fists against the Earth and scream to the heavens because I missed out on my chance.  That would be silly.  I mean, she might have an open relationship, right?  And excited… I guess I am glad for her but it changes very little about my life or my lust for her.  And I do lust for her because she’s pretty amazing.  So congrats to her I guess and congrats to fans of hot people for how she looked recently, you guys won big.  As for me, today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett Johansson is one of my favorites.  Like I am not good with favorites because they feel restraining.  If you ask me what my favorite ice cream is I could never answer, it feels too restraining, I can only tell you what ice cream I would want right at this moment.  Same with songs.  Or movies.  Or books.  Or… whatever pretty much anything.  But there are some constants and Scarlett Johansson has been one for over a decade now.  It’s obvious why, she’s gorgeous, she’s talented, she’s likable.  It’s not like I am all alone on this one.  But at the same time she hasn’t shown up here in a while.  And there was a large gap before that time and so on because… she doesn’t show up in my life that often.  I feel cheated by this.  I don’t know what the solution is.  Maybe she could get a weekly TV show?  I would be down with that.  I wonder if she’d be willing to do that just to indulge me.  I don’t think that’s how the world works but i’ll look into it. Anyway, today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Here is Scarlett Johansson because she is one of my favorites and I watched videos of her playing pattycake back stage at the Tonys and it was pretty adorable.  I am not sure what else to say here, she has shown up a lot, obviously I like her a lot.  She is sexy and gorgeous and… I have been into her for like 13 years now or something.  It’s a seriously long time at this point.  Somehow I am old but she is not.  Magic of celebrity.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Time is a bit of a strange thing in what it does to our perceptions. I have been attracted to Scarlett Johansson for over a decade but when that attraction was first there I felt like she was so young.  Now I think of her as basically the same age as me.  A few years when someone is a teenager feels like a lot, they feel like less later on.  I am not sure what the point is here other than the fact that impressions change, once a basically unknown actress then became the next big thing then became huge.  Now she’s like an elder statesman of attractive girl actresses.  Well, something like that, my point is it’s just accepted now that she is one of the biggest stars in the world.  It almost doesn’t even matter what she does.  I am babbling though, so let’s get down to brass tacks and cut the bullshit. Scarlett Johansson is sexy and beautiful.  I love her lips, her eyes, her boobs, and her essence.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

I feel like it’s been a while since I posted Scarlett, she is actually one of my most posted celebrities but it comes in waves because unless she’s doing a movie… well, pictures of her are way rarer than they were a half a decade ago.  I wish they weren’t but I can’t just make Scarlett Johansson appear out of thin air.  Holy crap you guys if I could… well, I might still have this blog but I promise you she’d help proof read it!  Wait, that’s the lamest fantasy ever.  Well, that’s what happen when you just let yourself ramble meaninglessly, they can’t all be winners.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.