Tag: Kate Upton

Here is a bunch of pictures of Kate Upton also with animals.  I could probably spin some bullshit here about how it is representative of my baser desires, the animalistic urges you fires in me.  About how this blog is a mesh of the intellectual and the base. I could do that because I am pretty good at psuedo intellectualism and making stuff sound just good enough that you buy it if you aren’t really paying attention.  It would be total BS though.  No, I just thought the picture of Kate Upton with a monkey was cute.  Then I saw one of her with puppies.  Then I was like, I bet I can get animals or at least animal prints in a bunch of these.  I did just that.  Animals are cute.  Kate Upton is cute too but I don’t think she gets a lot of credit for it, when your body is like that people skip right over the cute thing.  I still think back to her dancing the dougie and cute is what I think of.  It isn’t her fault if she is also very sexy.  It isn’t my fault either, so if you are rolling your eyes at another Kate Upton entry you’ll just have to deal.  Clearly I really like Kate Upton.  Very, very clearly today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is Kate Upton, or as I like to think of her: the future Plaintiff in Kate Upton vs. Whoiwanttofucktoday.  (That’s a restraining order joke folks.  Is it too vague?  I can’t tell.  My point is I am obsessed, dangerously so.  Really, I need help…) Anyway, she is here because she is great and hot and I like her a lot.  I can’t tell you why.  Like I know most people will say it’s the boobs and the body or whatever but… I don’t know, there are a lot of boobs and like literally everyone has a body of some sort.  There is something special.  Maybe only I get it.  Maybe we have a special connection.  Definitely this post will be used as evidence in the civil hearing that results in me not being allowed within 500 feet of her.  You know what’s most damning?  When I end this post by saying today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I am pretty much out of things to say about Kate Upton here.  I mean, it’s not that I don’t have things to say or I am tired of talking about her, or looking at her, or finding pictures of her, or getting lost in thought, or… well, you get the idea.  But I am pretty much just going to be repeating myself again and again.  I am not tired of her but there’s a good chance you’re scrolling right past, because either you like her or you don’t, I can’t convince you otherwise at this point, it would just be a waste of my breath..  I can live with that, I can live with being more into her than you.  That way, one day, when she decides that the only person for her is someone who runs a once daily tumblr… well, I like my chances.  I am not saying it will happen but if it does I’m ready.  So then and today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is Kate Upton.  And she is wearing actual for real clothing.  That makes it sound like normally she’s naked but I don’t mean that, more that, for reasons that are not hard to figure out, most of the time I see her on tumblr she is not in honest to goodness for real clothing.  She is in under clothing.  Or bikinis.  Or various states of almost undress.  Look, usually she’s in something skimpy and there is a lot of boob showing. I get this, I am actually ok with Kate Upton’s boobs.  I just sometimes feel like it almost does a disservice to her because she isn’t just a pair of boobs.  Plus, sometimes I like dresses.  And I think she looks good here.  And… I don’t know, I don’t have a real point except look, Kate Upton.  Kate Upton Pretty.  Me like Kate Upton.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

To be honest I could post here a few times a day at least.  I mean, if I had no job and was at my computer all the time but my point is it isn’t like i wake up, have one girl who I am into and that’s it, days over my mind doesn’t wander.  Once a day is good though so I am lucky I chose the name I did starting this.  You guys should be thankful, too, because Kate Upton would have been here even more if I just posted all willy nilly.  I mean, she’d have to, it’s a number game.  I get the impression people don’t like it when I post her.  I don’t have anything approaching concrete evidence to support this or even anything approaching evidence actually, it’s just a feeling I get.  Because I guess I’m a paranoid lunatic and I can feel you all silently judging me.  Me and Kate Upton and our special love we share.  Because that’s a thing that exists.  Anyway, now that a prosecutor will have all the evidence needed when she files her restraining order I should just point out that she is gorgeous and I like her a lot and she is pretty and I like her and today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

It has been for real over a month since i posted Kate Upton, which may be kind of a record for me.  See, she’s been posted at a rate of like one and half times a month since I started this blog.  I like her.  I mean, there are so many people to post it isn’t like it should be stunning she has been absent for about 30 days but the thing is I could post her every day and i wouldn’t really be lying.  I might have someone else more on my mind but most days if you mentioned her I am pretty sure that is where my thoughts and desires would go as well. Because she’s just… well, I think she is amazing looking.  Obviously a lot of people agree.  Some people don’t.  That’s cool, I guess we all have a type and for whatever reason she is mine, something about her hits me just right.  So today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Ok, I have a secret.  I really like Kate Upton.   I have played it pretty close tot he chest but I am here to admit it.  Actually, I think I’ve made that joke before, I must have, I have written about her more than 20 times in the past year.  Which is why we are going to tackle something else completely, all the body image stuff needs to fucking stop.  That’s right, I’m putting my foot down and what better person to do so than someone who runs a blog that objectifies women!  My basic point is this, I keep hearing Kate Upton is fat, which is ludicrous.  I think it is pointless to spend your time talking about what you hate, the simple truth is no one really gives a fuck what you hate and if you feel the compulsion to spend all your time shitting on things other people like it’s probably because you are sad and hollow.  Sad people are often outraged by others finding joy in things because they are incapable of finding any themselves.  But back tot he fat thing, that’s ludicrous. And I am not saying you have to find Kate Upton or her body type attractive, that would also be stupid.  Nor will I claim she is a real woman because she has curves, I am pretty sure vaginas and two x chromosomes are really the criteria for that.  The internet is good for a lot of things but holy shit is it horrible when it comes to trying to make people feel bad for being different.  And I’m not talking about Kate Upton being slightly thicker than a lot of models, I am talking about liking Kate Upton or not, or anyone for that matter.  She’s not fat, let’s save discussions about obesity for the actually obese, you know when you are truly concerned for their health, not because you want to say something mean about someone and let the whole world you totally would not masturbate to her.  Now, on the other hand, I don’t want to hear any bullshit from the other side about skinny bitches or thin shaming, that stuff is fucking stupid, too.  If someone wants to be thin, let them, if they don’t let them, you are welcome to want to fuck whoever you want, I don’t care, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make them a bad person, and it sure as fuck doesn’t make other people bad people because they want to fuck something different than you.  There, settled.  Tomorrow I’ll tackle the economy and then maybe world peace.  As for today? Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Hey look it’s my secret girlfriend Kate Upton.  Secret Girlfriend you say?  Why yes, it’s so secret she doesn’t even know!  Or know me.  But this is the 20th time I am posting her in less than a year which in some countries makes us already married.  What countries?  Well… uh… WhoIwanttofuckistan, the sovereign principality that exists over my computer.  Really, it’s an up and comer, just waiting on that UN recognition so I can finally declare war on the condo upstairs for violating my airspace.  Anyway, once I am officially the rule of my own nation I am sure winning Kate’s heart will be no problem, she could be the Grace Kelly of her generation.  We have a lot in common, I seem to have a thing for girls named Katherine.  And Blondes.  And her.  She is a Katherine, she is blonde, she is her.  It’s like a fairy tale but with fewer toads and more blog entries that will inevitably be admitted as evidence in the stalking trial.  Anyway, my point is I realize I am closing in on obsessed, or you know, I passed obsessed a few exits back, but I really like Kate Upton.  She is pretty and lively and good at her job and just a joy to behold. So today I want to fuck Kate Upton.